Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Do you ever feel like you're in over your head

...with your gifted child?

I find myself really overwhelmed sometimes. At the moment I'm really going through an "I'm not sure I can do this" stage.

I have 3 kids and the eldest has ADHD, my youngest is just 4 and my middle one is the most precocious. I know, there are many people who have waaaay more on board than I do and knowing that makes me feel guilty for being overwhelmed.

My middle one woke me up at some crazy hour this morning because he wanted me to help him figure out how many days are in 1 million minutes. Then my eldest gets up and wants to talk about computers and the little one is a big ball of energy. Its only 9.23am and I'm exhausted!

Thanks, Cricket. I already feel a ton better knowing that I'm not alone.

Your house sounds a LOT like mine! Since I posted the OP, my 10 year old has been here discussing the logistics of making a suit for his latest movie idea and how he is going to finish writing his script today, my 4 year old started doing a 50 piece puzzle and my 6 year old is sitting next to me building a new robot and nagging me about the fact that nobody wants to play Monopoly with him.

I only have 2 and can barely keep it together! The second is thankfully more into toys and entertaining himself than the first, who still demands constant social interaction. But I can't even use the computer while the 15 month old is awake because he screams to get online. He doesn't have the touchpad down yet so I have to help him, and Starfall is driving me bonkers. I guess I should just view it as building endurance for the endless games of Candyland which are soon to come. I often wonder if I'm anemic or something because I'm exhausted by noon, but then I remember that I'm just old.

You are definitely not alone Tofu and I'm pretty sure my oldest is "only" a Level 2!!

Anyone got workbook lovers? How about going through 9 pages in one book then 16 pages in another book in one sitting?? And a break down when I call it quits!!

My dd is also a Monopoly lover - we have the Garfield edition so she is extremely selective about what pawn she is (NOT the hamburger).

Or when we are driving down the road, asking how to spell just about anything and everything including stuff I have to stop and think how to spell myself.

And what about patterns!! Seeing and commenting on every pattern that is around us!! She has been ASKING for patterns "school work" for quite some time now.

Or the correcting! Correcting stuff you say or if you mis-read a word in a book. She even corrected her fluent German-speaking grandfather when he didn't say "zwei" as clearly as she would have liked!!

Then baby dd chasing me with books to read to her. In need of constant interaction as well.

I put myself in time out when it gets too bad. I tell my girls that Mommy is in time out and no one can talk to her until the timer rings. Since they know they get in trouble when they talk during time out they actually leave me alone.
Of course it only gives you 1-3 minutes of quiet time, but there are days that that is all it takes to calm down and refocus on how to get them doing something on their own.

I have also turned my ears off for periods of time before. I let them talk away to me and simply don't respond. It took awhile for me to be able to do this, but after a few times if me basically ignoring them, they learned that they need to be quiet for a while or Mommy will have her ears turned off for a long time.

Otherwise, I am a big fan of sending them out to run around the yard ___ times (as many times as they are years old) . Then they have to do either sit ups or jumping jacks or just jumps while they count to some number. A bit of physical activity seems to get their brain working on its own and then they don't require as much attention when they get back in.

I've also actually phone a relative or friend and made them ask their question(s) to who ever is at home on the other end of the line. It gives me a break, the grandparents a chance to talk to them and be involved in their latest obsession. Not to mention giving them an idea of what we actually go through most days.

Just about every day...Hang in there!

every single day!!! We homeschool DS7 and there are many, many days where I wonder how in the world I keep up the pace with him! My little guy wants to know everything at what seems like every second of the day! Today he designed 3 new games that were so detailed my head was spinning...agggggggg

OMG! I feel so good reading this. I remember when DD was only two and I asked my Ped if something was wrong with her because she can never just sit and watch a movie like her twin 2yr old cousins. She always has to be getting into stuff and over-examining.

I work in a high pressure job and some nights when I come home and she wants to do workbooks or read a 68 page chapter book all at once or wants to watch mythbusters while asking me 1million questions about what they are doing I want to cry.

I feel so bad becuase I know she is just so hungry to learn more and talk to grown ups after a day in first grade hell, but it can be overwhelming.

To all of you with more than one child, I bow to you. I'd have run away by now, LOL

I'm amazed by the resilience of those of you with more than one. DS2.7 is just finally went to sleep about a hour ago and he'll be up again at 6 and raring to go.

What makes me feel in over my head is not so much that I have less energy than him, because having met plenty of energetic little boys I expected that. And with just one between two parents we do manage the time committment okay. My in over my head feeling is that I can't keep up with him in some cognitive ways, and he's still only a toddler.

Our day is a endless litany of lines from books we've read that are relevant to the moments of our day. Because originally it was only a few well-read books that DH, I and DS knew by heart it was fun to go back and forth with lines, pretend to be the characters, etc. It was a rich aspect to our days. But now DS knows a very large number of books fully and recalls parts of ones last read 6 or more months ago and I can not keep up. Not at all. He is not socially mature enough to understand the difference between me not being capable of going back and forth with lines or remembering plots, and not wanting to or refusing to play. It's probably confusing that I can do it sometimes but not others. So both of us are really frustrated. It seems to come up many times a day that mommy has a old brain.

And then there's that he's so easily bored that verbal stories don't hold his attention more than a couple times, and songs can't be sung more than once every couple weeks, etc. Puzzles were great for a while but he is currently bored of them. Mazes were great for a while but he's currently bored of them. Playdoh is still pretty cool so he spends hours a day making playdoh pretend things. I try to convince myself that he's learning independence when he wanders around at loose ends... but really I'd prefer to feel like I was keeping up.

Polly

I would advise taking a moment to think about the message that you are sending here. Do you rejoice in the fact that he has abilities and interests that you do not have? Or do you feel ashamed/embarrassed/inadequate/stupid/old? How do you want him to feel when he encounters someone with knowledge and abilities that he does not have? I get that it's frustrating when he wants to play a specific game with you, but being down on yourself can't be helping things. If he's into memorizing and reciting, perhaps you could teach him something that you already know. Or maybe it's just time for him to play some games by himself.