Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion How do you handle being "on" all the time?

How do you handle being "on" all the time. i feel constantly exahusted by dd at the end of the day. I feel like i am in teacher mode all the time. Okay, not really teacher mode, but I don't really no what else to call it.

DD 2.9 wants to know EVERYTHING, questions all day long, in depth detailed questions which she wants in depth detailed answers to. Also random vocabulary words definitions are needed....not words that are in conversations, but in the middle of her playing she will suddenly want a definition for a word that I do not know where it came from....today it was "digress, peace, holy, eclipse"

She will play, but even that is complicated and she wants me involved. Today she was a "nuerosurgeon" and her stuffed frog had a brain injury.

We read a ton, I can't even remeber how many worksheets she did today, but she kept asking for more. I tried to distract her and asked her to go play but she almost melted down because she really really wanted to do the worksheets. Then she decided to play a game she invented with her colors "color shades" She picks out all of one color crayon out of her crayon tin and then she wants us to go through and line them up by shades.

I just feel like I am constantly on, and teaching by default by asnwering her questions, but it wears me out. How do you handle it?

Quiet time! Once DS had given up naps (which was a bit before your DS's current age) I really needed equivalent time without chatter, so I used to tell him that he didn't need to take a nap if he didn't want to but he did have to go and play quietly in his room because I wanted time by myself. If your DD is not used to this at all, you may have to introduce the idea slowly, but I think it's a win-win to do it. You need some time when you can hear your own thoughts, and actually so does she: she needs to learn that, and how, she can have fun for extended periods without an adult on tap, and that adults have needs too. IIRR, she's already writing, isn't she? If she's bothered by having nobody to ask questions of, you could make sure she has paper and pencil in her room during quiet time and encourage her to write down any questions she wants to ask you later!

Yes, sounds like a day at our house! I often wish I could take the batteries out!! And add a baby dd who is chasing me with books to read her and pointing at stuff she wants too, it gets real tiresome...fast!!

I do agree with the quiet time. I started quiet time when dd stopped napping at about 27 months. She goes in her room with books, some toys, animals, etc. I also worked it so the baby will go down for a nap at the same time. Introduce it slowly as ColinsMum said and keep it at the same time each day. And stick with it if she resists!! Tell her that you guys are going to try something new and that she's going into her room with her books, toys, etc. for some "xxx time" - call it what you want. Get her all comfy in her bed or where ever. Then you can say what you want - "Mama's going to rest." or "I'll check on you in a little bit." or "Ok, you are a big girl here!!"

Anything to make it sound like something "fun" that she will want to do daily.



Good luck!!

It was hard for me when my son was little too. He needed lots of stimulation. It gets much better as they get older and become more independent. A regular night out without kids can do lots of good and renew your spirit. Hang in there.

Oh I wish I had answers. DS2.6 usually takes a afternoon nap which is a wonderful thing (it's happening right now!), but he's decreased his night-time sleep now so that he sleeps from 10 pm to 6:15 or so. That gives DH and I virtually time at all to unwind, we have to put him to bed and then immediately go to sleep ourselves if we want to be rested for the next day. The alternative may be keeping him un-napped all day so that he goes to sleep a little earlier but I don't like that option either!

The other day he says to me while I am busy with something on the computer, "Mommy is having quiet time. Mommy needs to have quiet time now." He says this in a dejected voice as if the world has abandoned him, before going off to do something by himself. I felt so guilty but also proud of him that he's beginning to manage without me right there. His statement was a alteration of what I originally said to him a few weeks prior one day when he was not interested in napping, which was "Well then instead of a nap we are going to have quiet time now, DS you are going to have a hour of quiet time now where mommy does mommy things and you do your things. So I can help with the playdoh (or whatever it was he wanted to do) in a hour...". Of course he's dead on that the one who needs it is me.

Polly

Yes, try quiet time. DD goes to nap time every day, she does not sleep. She uses the time usually reading books alone, playing with her toys, doing puzzles. She enjoys it too and asks for it. It helps her to calm down.

we get out of the house and go to library story times, playdates, music classes, etc. every single day. It is easier being out of the house because she can find other people and things to absorb some of her energy. I also learned to say no to being available every minute of the day at home. It is fine for them to want interaction and information, but I got to the point where I was burnt out and not doing anything for myself and she has slowly learned to do some things on her own. She doesn't do "quiet time" in the sense of actually being quiet (she doesn't stop talking or singing for two seconds all day) but she does do some things on her own. She can make little figures with Playdough and play out stories on her own with them. Remember I have two bright active ones ages two and three so I simply cannot stay locked up in the house with them all day every day or we would all go nuts. My three year old goes to preschool two mornings a week and it is the best thing in the world because it gives me a break and gives her new input. You are so lucky you DD likes worksheets. That is something I wouldn't mind doing. My DD wants to do creative play and dialogues and that gets boring for any adult...I like to do things where we can sit nicely at a table, but her energy is more like a volcano going off in every direction and is so exhausting and the house can quickly seem too small. I am hoping that as she gets older she will settle down a little bit.

Ditto! Parents need "time outs" too!

What do you think of computer time? Limited of course, like 30 minutes a day. My dd will play on her sites, print stuff out then work on the sheets she printed out. Here are some sites she likes:

starfall.com

http://www.mhschool.com/math/mathconnects/index.html

http://www.ixl.com/math/

My DS was on Time4Learning at 2. It was the only way to get a break and save my sanity. Lots of outside activities helped as well. At 7, he still shows no sign of slowing down but he has learned to entertain himself!