Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Ummm that went well (sarcastic) Major SIL Vent LOL

Ok Grinity you can stop looking through the peephole in my house? - brain? LOL

Love ya,
Breakaway4

Thanks for the post. I was curious how it went since the post about your MIL and her request of hiding your DD's abilities. I do have to wonder if maybe your MIL knew how your SIL would react and was trying to prepare you in her own way. It definitely sounds like your SIL is insecure and competitive. Got to love the holidays ... it brings us in interaction with our loved ones. :P

LOL! If only I could! Still - on the balance we Gifties have nice brains.

Busted yeah, I was labelled "GLD," which I guess is "twice exceptional" now. (We called ourselves "gelded," in retrospect that's pretty harsh, but it didn't seem that way at the time, it simply seemed real.) I dropped out of high school every year, etc. and it's been a long, crooked road. I'm maybe a bit too aware that my dad's road was the same, and my kids's road could be too. I love him, 'ya know... I don't *want* him to hurt!

And you are most certainly right. DH is not pathological, though I think he's pretty damaged by some of his experiences. But so am I. I just hope he "breaks" before DS. They're off dancing now, and I've been having a long chat with myself about context. I'm not raising a stranger, I'm raising my kid, and our stories will be part of his the same way his is part of mine.

So, erm. Thanks. Guess I'm having a tough time just now, and maybe the reasons I keep wandering by here aren't so unknown after all. (incidentally, where did you pick up the clairvoyance, anyway? That's a neat trick.)

-Michaela

Grinity is pretty amazing like that isn't she.
Parenting is tough and letting the other parent parent is even tougher! My ex IS pathological.

Keep coming around!

I love how you are able to describe perfectionism. I get weird looks if I mention being a perfectionist as lot of thing (especially our house) is less than perfect, ppl don't understand that I demand something so perfect that it is not possible so I then just try to forget the whole thing. This leads to messy house but as I'm never content with it I never invite anybody.


Yes LOL I'm even driving myself crazy at work as I think others have horrible memory and can not recall anything. I remember what was said in every meeting I have attended and I feel horrible upset if I need to explain something to others. My boss seems to be bit afraid of my memory. I'm definitely driving family nuts with this "gifted thing".

ps. I'm using the same disclaimer than pp

Oli - When I look back at my work history through my new 'Gifted Perspective' I just laugh and laugh at all the errors I made of the kind you describe. I've even offered to write an Internal Wiki for our workplace, because I hate it when this happens:

Me: Which do we do first A, or B?

Boss: We always A before we B here.

1 Month later:
Boss: Hey, someone said you are doing A before B, We always B before we A here.
Me: OK, I'll do B before A from now on.

Never mind that in all the years she been bossing, no one has ever asked that question before, or cares what the answer is except me. Boss have been very sweet with me overall, so I've been working on 'deep breathing' through my anxiety over this sort of thing.

The main thing is that this no longer suprizes me and throws me into turmoil about 'am I remembering wrong?' and 'I didn't mean to do it wrong...why can't I do it right?'

Now I was: 'Yes, this is part of being humans, and this is completely to be expected, and if I ask DH, he will report that I do it too!'

Smiles,
Grinity

I stole a lot of it from Flylady.net

and

Michaela,

I hate to say this, but sometimes parents are jealous of their own children. Perhaps your DH's gifted upbringing was not all that ideal (?) so he resents seeing how nurturing you are to your child?

Or perhaps he is has a more laissez-faire approach to parenting, and believes in letting kids develop "naturally" whatever that means!

My DD8 came home as an 8 mos. old baby from a Russian orphanage, so there was no question I was going to "let things happen." The international adoption doctor had already told me that the IQ level could be raised as much as 20 points due to a stimulating environment, so this poor kid was cuddled, kissed constantly, read to, talked to, and taken to children's museums at the age of 15 months.

She just tested in the HG range on her WISC-IV test.

DD8 was very skinny from her orphanage experience, and when she crawled, her feet did not tuck under themselves but turned upwards (tension from not being held enough). My SIL constantly referred to her as a year younger than her real age ("Yes, that's what a typical three year old does" when DD was four!) because she was petite, and said there was something "different" about her (Yes, she was gifted and quirky!).

Anyway, dear SIL was very nice in other respects, so I just hold my tongue when I'm around her. Frankly, I think at least one of my nephews is gifted (loves chess, advanced in sports) but I never butt into SIL's parenting methods.

However, it's well known that "talent will out" is NOT always accurate; parental encouragement and gentle pushing make a huge difference in a child's development. Being gifted in IQ alone is not enough.

Grinity,

Your quotes about perfectionism are extremely helpful! Thanks.