Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school The OMG factor

One interesting thing I've noticed having a boy and girl. And my kids are cute IMHO, but not magazine cover gorgeous or anything. The both actually very much look like siblings. SO many women comment on my daughter. Her hair, her clothes, and her big brown eyes especially. And I'm comparing her to my son at the same ages. Anyway, my son never got any such comments at the same age. It's seems to be one of those cultural things that women in particular do with each other. Like I just got a new pair of boots and I've been stopped on the street 3 times a day lately asking about them. Weird!

This is not really on the topic but with all this discussion on hair I will ask something I've been wondering about... did your DD/DS have hair as a newborn or did they have more hair in general than other kids during their first year?

As a newborn my DS had a thick head of hair and never went bald during a transition to lighter colored hair, we received comments continually the first 18 months about his hair, how thick and beautiful it was, etc. I think I've met only a couple other babies who had as much hair as him. Probably due to the hair we had a lot of comments about how he should be in ads, we were approached by a store for a photoshoot, declined just as we didn't think he'd sit patiently for it. Now he has disheveled straight hair in a home done haircut because he's extremely sensitive about having his head touched, and so we no longer get many comments, which I don't mind at all as it was so awkward (especially when people thought he was a pretty girl despite clearly boy clothing).

During the gorgeous curls phase when we got a lot of comments I finally settled on, "Oh I know, I so wish I had his hair, mine just won't do anything". I found that prompted a "oh but your hair is nice comment" which stopped the person further commenting on DS's appearance. I never figured out a response for "he's so beautiful" except "Thankyou -- we think so too but of course we might be a little biased".

Anyhow getting back to my question, I am curious if your DS/DD had more hair as a baby than others?

Polly

My daughter had tons of wild dark hair as an infant. And big saucer eyes. We got stopped a lot when she was an infant. My son had tons of hair at birth but lost quite a bit later on. He still needed his first haircut right at 1. My daughter had her hair cut into a little short bob at around 7 months!

My DD has never had much hair, nope. She still doesn't. She's almost 4, and it's never been cut, and her curls barely reach her shoulders.

She was pretty bald for a while as a baby. I've heard that this is mostly about mama's hormones released during the birth rather than anything to do with the baby.

My DD and DS were both born with fairly decent heads of hair and it stayed that way.


My son was like this too. Always hated having his hair cut. When he started school he came home one day and told me that he hated school because the girls always touched his hair. I didn't think much more of it until about a month later he came home proud as punch and told me he had solved the hair touching problem. Naturally I asked him how he managed that and he replied "I told them in a loud voice so they could all hear that I've got nits"!!!

Sorry ... I missed your comment. I 100% agree with you. We already do this with DD. We feel it is important to embrace all of yourself and not focus on just looks. We encourage her kindness and creativity, along with many other traits. I'm an artist and she has been wanting to paint with me on big canvases with my paint. I've promised her that when it warms up we will get the easel out and paint together. I'm actually very excited about it and can't wait to see what we create together. However it turns out, I will definitely display it.

LOL - I can not think of how to turn 'curly hair' into a character attribute!
'Yes I love how it shines because of how clean she keeps it!' maybe?
((shrugs)) I'm all for adapting to individual situations!

And what is it where curly hair kids want straight hair and vise versa?

I think conditional praise is good if it is specific:
"You are waiting patiently, and that shows me how strong you are on the inside."
"You are using your inside voice and that shows me how considerate you are of my tender ears."

One thing is clear: This is a bunch of parents who are thinking and questioning about how to be the best parents possible. I think we should all pat ourselves on the back for that!

Grinity

Grinity - What a great post!