Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Is my 4 year daughter old gifted?

I have read many articles that have been posted on the web site and I appreciate the wealth of information that was provided. You would think that after reading endless stories on giftedness that I would have some understanding of the subject but I do not.

Where to begin? Our daughter, Brenna, is 4 years old and will be attending Kindergarten this Fall. Just after the age of 2, she learned her ABC's and could say them without a problem. Before the age of 3, we purchased the "Letter Factory" video from Leap Frog and she became fascinated with it for 2-3 days and mastered all the sounds within that time. 4 months after her 3rd Birthday, she started reading on her own. It wasn't spontaneous but we helped her along since she had an interest and was reading simple books at that time. New words were not difficult for her to master and she rarely sounds out any new words... she just knew them. Also, the word only had to be sounded out once and it became committed to memory. She also has an ability to remember birthdays. We would have fun with her, having her site a family members birthday.

At age 4, we decided to test her on the Dolch sight words because her older sister was learning them. She knew all the Kindergarten and 1st Grade list and about 90% of the 2nd and 3rd Grade list. She also could count to 100 without much difficulty (we would have fun practicing) and later could do it by 5s and 10s. We also play a game called War with the numbers up 999 and she knows how to read them.

As for her maturity, I believe she's not at the same level as her friends. It seems that every day she gets mad and frustrated about something...What 4 year old doesn't? However, it's the intensity of them. She puts all her might into them, with a grinding of her teeth. She also can be crying one second, only to start laughing 2 seconds later. We have to curb the throwing, banging, and biting before Kindergarten or we will have some issues. Focus and keeping her on task are issues. We are constantly fighting with her to do something simple like "put on your clothes."

We recently had the kindergarten screening, only to find out that she tested below average on the language section (counting to 30, Upper/lower case letters, etc...) and was above average Academically. We were not allowed in the Kindergarten screening process before and after and only now, after receiving a bar graph in the mail, we are trying to find out from the evaluator what happened.


What is your take on this? I hate labeling but do you see giftedness here? How come she can't stay focus? Is that a trait? Why did she fall below average on the Kindergarten screening test when I think she is far beyond it?

I am no expert (someone here who is one should reply soon) but I would want to know what this "screening process" was. My DD9, for example, has a high IQ on the WISC, but does not reflect this every year on the Cogat. So, I think that the type of test, how it was administered, etc., matters. In addition, perhaps the tester didn't establish a good rapport, this is part of the screening process, I assume and should be in the report. Also, there could be a 2e issue?

If you are concerned about behavioral and attention issues, you could have her privately screened. It may even be partly covered by insurance if you get a referral from the pediatrician.

A private screening by a psychologist could give you a lot more information on her strengths and weaknesses and how to address them.

She sounds like a passionate, bright little girl

How has school been for your older daughter? Some kids are more flexable by nature...some less so. I would strongly urge you to homeschool at least one more year. Chances are that if the school doesnt get that she is above average on the screening test that they wont get it inside the classroom. Why not let her learn at home one extra year and then start school in 2nd or whatever grade seems most likely to fit? Another alternative is to look for a private school that get the asynchrony between a 8 year old brain in a 4 year old body. best wishes Grinity

Maybe your daughter was simply hiding her abilities during the screening. I could easily see this happening with my DS4, who sometimes lapses into a weird form of baby talk when he's nervous or uncomfortable. He's also a perfectionist who will downplay his abilities to anyone asking. Just last weekend a friend asked him if he could read, and he said, "Just little words," which is ridiculous, as he reads and comprehends books written for kids age 8 to 12. The private school I am sending him to in the fall will spend the first two weeks of the term assessing all kids in each core subject area, and I can't wait to see how closely the assessment results match what I know about DS's abilities. I don't expect it to tell me much about my son, but I expect it to tell me volumes about the school.

Thanks for your replies. Our daughter is now in Kindergarten and seems to be liking it. The kindergarten teacher thinks that her reading comprehension is at the 3rd grade level with decoding a bit higher. I'm just glad that the teacher recognized her abilities because she did poorly with the Kindergarten screening. I guess we just needed validation.

We are still working on the social part of Kindergarten and it's been quite hard. She tends to get in fights and has outbursts. I believe that she just feels with intensity. I don't think that this is a problem but we just need to curb the biting, etc...

Any ideas?

Have you visited the classroom and observed your daughter and the other children. My guess is that she is feeling cornered by the other children's behaviors that seem inconprehensible to her. Somehow this reminds me of when a small child is frighened by a dog and we growups find it 'cute.' Of course a lot of things are cute when you are 3 feet taller than they are, but don't looks so funny when they are eye level.

So glad she got a teacher that 'gets' her and is doing well with the academics.

Smiles,
Grinity

What is your daughter's explanation for the biting? How does the teacher handle it? Does she do this kind of thing at home?

Polly

Is her verbal skills really good? I mean, is she able to have a good conversation with you. Do you understand her when she tries to explain something to you, and then vice versa, when you explain something to her?

You could try role-playing... lots of it. Is she able to tell you what happened at school? Then role-play what alternative things she could do/say instead of biting.

Then role-play other situations (that you think can happen in school and other playdates) and give her more ideas of what she could say/do to play with other children. Show her what typical things other children might do, and give her options as to what she can choose to do in return. Exaggerate your happiness and praise when she picks/role-plays a better choice, etc....

As her intensities will continue, you could also try working on a "scale" with her. Like, if all her toys were gone and we can't buy any more, that's a 10! But if the milk spilled, that's a 1. And maybe if you fall off your bike, that's a 4. So, when something happens, let her decide what level on the scale it is.

We also spent a lot of time with our own child to work on perfectionism as that is a typical problem with gifted kids. So we role-played a lot and we exaggerated our own 'forgiveness' when we made mistakes so child could see how we reacted when something didn't go quite right.

It is great that she has an understanding teacher!