Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion but we still believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy!

Yes. I remember fearing if my parents thought I didn't believe that I wouldn't get anything... plus blessidly she keeps up a good front for the littlest - I know the middle isn't buying it though.

We all still belive hear. DW, DS16 and DS6. If you don't believe Santa will not give you presents. Same with the Tooth Fairy (Only two teeth so far). That being said, we play it up big, and keep it fun. If DS6 knows, he keeps it to himself. As far as the ruff scale YMMV.

DS6 told me he "chooses" to believe. I guess that means it will last as long as he wants it to.

DD figured it out at 3.5 and I was actually a little sad. Her logic was that, "no one can read minds" and Santa knowing what millions and millions of kids want requires mind-reading. (I guess she wouldn't have figured it out if we had counter-proposed that Santa used a massive database with a web front for all the parents to "order" from. :-) )

Of course, we still do Christmas and Easter Bunny as if she didn't know, but it was way more fun for us when she believed :-)

Having said this, this issue became an important part of our battle with DD's Montessori school. We wanted DD accelerated (skipping K.) They initially told us that the reason they never accelerated was because of Montessori's idea of "planes of development." They told us that kids transition from the "first plane" to the "second" at age six.

As part of our advocacy we researched precisely what Maria Montessori considered as differentiators between these two "planes of development." It turns out the key difference (according to MM) is the ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality-- the ability to know when something (like Santa) is "make-believe."

Although our advocacy ultimately failed (which makes us so sad I cannot even articulate...) showing them that Montessori's idea of what generally happens at age six is really analogous to what Ruf's giftedness research suggests is happening with gifted kids at an earlier age, really went a long way in our convincing them that "the planes of development" is a continuum, and that modern understandings of giftedness have a lot to say about the same sort of things Montessori was saying 100 years. Too bad they couldn't get past the size of DD on the playground. But as DH says, 'they did us a favor-- DD will be immensly happier and learn way more homeschooling next year..." *sigh*

Yeah, those guys (and the Easter Bunny) can be that way, can't they? DS6 is still a believer, but my family tradition is rather active and aggressive when it comes to holiday characters. I had to insist on being off work for Christmas year before last, because we had a meltdown over having to move Easter to Wednesday when I was off. His friends told him the Easter Bunny would not come on Wednesday, and I had to explain that I have known the Easter Bunny all my life and he would come when I asked him to! Sure enough, he did, and DS was proud to tell his friends about that one. But I knew I couldn't get away with it anymore, so I had to be off for Christmas.

I had to laugh a couple weeks ago--DS wanted to take his new calculator to bed, and was trying to figure out where to put it so it wouldn't fall out of bed. I told him to put it under his pillow. He said, "No, I can't do that, because then the Calculator Fairy would come and take it!" I had to admit that I have never seen the Calculator Fairy--I guess that's because I never put a calculator under my pillow!

To me it just seems sort of like nonsense on the level of a quiz in Glamor Magazine quiz or something. I don't understand why anyone puts stock in these levels because the sample size was minute and the questions clearly indicate a particular cultural bias. It concerns me when they are at times elevated to a position of meaning beyond more validated measures like IQ scores or achievement. It doesn't seem to me that at all even consider where 2e children (and that's a pretty sizable part of the PG population) might fit.

Our child is on I guess what you'd call "wildly" PG in terms of scores on IQ and acheivement, SAT scores while young. He's been highly achieving including young entrance into college. As I recall he would get maybe a three on the Ruf scale. So, say I'd gone to these scales when he was a preschooler before he'd been tested. What would my take away message have been? Don't bother?

I have to agree with JDAx3 and Nautigal, my 7 y/o still believes but i think it has a lot to do with how big a deal we make of it. we go out of our way to keep the magic alive - i did it for years as a child even long after i knew and my parents knew i knew, i didn't stop writing letters to santa until long into high school! it was part of the fun of it. My boy is an extremely logical one, but he also has a wonderful imagination and he goes with it. We've also been lucky that there is a fabulous local Santa who comes to our office every year - for pics - but my son has written santa a letter every year and hand delivered it. I freaked when i found out his school would have a Santa visit too... but it was the same Santa! i really lucked out there.... at his school they also do a big deal with the mischievous leprechaun, so that helps too

There are a couple of fabulous books about Santa and the Reindeer that explain a lot about the magic, Santa's helpers, etc. Those have been a wonderful addition to our repertoire. And we have lots of stories about why different books may have different stories, pictures, etc (it's a mystery, magic often is!).

I think there is something to how much the parents want to keep it alive, frankly, that the kids sense too... I think if i'd let him, big man would have "figured it out" sooner... heck, for all i know he has deep down, but he's into it hook line and sinker, just like his dad and I... and the little one is along for the ride! (his imagination is even more active, so he's just added on to the story....)

All that said, i'm glad someone asked the question... i'd wondered the same thing myself!!

The easter bunny never had a chance. I don't thing DS4 ever believed in that. He is way to logical and he knows he has never seen a bunny that big and it never made sense. Santa? I am not sure if he ever has believed in him. He goes along with it, but never asks much about it. We haven't even gotten to the tooth fairy. He is such a logical kid. I don't feel comfortable telling him that they exist when they don't, so with the santa thing I try to make it exciting and have some mystery. We have read books about santa and things like that. I never have told him he is not real, I basically skirt around it with things like "that's what people say" or "what do you think? or "how do you think these presents get here?" or other things like that. It kind of makes me sad about it that he doesn't seem really excited about the whole Santa thing. But not much else I can do I guess, he is who he is.

We are a Christian family, and while he does ask lots of questions, oddly enough he has never asked if God was real or anything like that. So I suppose he is able to believe in some things that he can not see.

DD8 I'm never sure. Several years ago I got point blank questioned was I santa because a kid at school had noticed that santa's handwriting matched his mom's. Taken aback I don't know how well I asked well what do you think? She never lets on. I think I took the if you don't believe no presents approach. She's very fanciful and imaginative so even though she knows things aren't real I think she likes to believe. I also think the parents have to be smart about it if you want the illusion. ie, I disguised my writing and eventually made printed labels.

Of course last month the "tooth fairy" fell asleep, so DD8 just comes up with the tooth fairy must have sundays off. I can't imagine someone at school hasn't blown it.

DD4 is more straightforward and will probably just come out and tell us.....

I vaguely remember reading Santa Mouse to DS5 when he was 2. At the end there is something like "and i believe, don't you?" DS gave me a look like, "you mean there's some reason not to believe in him?" I just ignored the look and moved on to something else quickly. Since then, he has had questions every year, and we have had to work very hard to convince him that Santa is real (because we think this is fun). This past year, Daddy agreed to take shifts with DS then 4, standing guard by the tree, so he could see Santa. Of course, they both fell asleep. He tried to get me to take a shift, but I of course know that Santa does not come if you are not asleep, and so I went straight to bed! I think he doesn't really believe, but he likes to think there's a possibility of such cool magic. About a week ago, we were dropping something off at my mom's house while she was napping. I said to be quiet not to wake her, and DS5 said, "Grandma will think Santa or the Easter Bunny was here!"

As for Ruf's levels, she herself calls them estimates. Her book helped me to know there even are different levels of giftedness, and that kids' needs will vary widely. (Also, we do have one of those kids who fell into the levels pretty nicely, so the book really spoke to us.)