Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Not sure what to do - classroom distractability

I spoke with DSs teacher this week to see how he was doing.

She said that academically he was doing great, performance/scores are all good. However, he's distracted...again. He's not focusing...again. He's one of the last few to transition from one activity to the next...again. He was this way at the beginning of the school year, but had improved (alot, actually). Now, it seems he's backtracking in those areas. An example she gave was that during seatwork or independent work on any subject, he'll get up and go over to her desk to mention that he finished another book he was reading. She redirects him and he's OK for a bit, but then later, distracted again.

I'm not sure what, exactly, I think of all this. On the one hand, he gets his work done and is doing well, so is it really all bad? On the other hand, it's a classroom that she has to manage and she can't have 'behaviors' like this, basically because (I feel) it's disruptive on his part. Part of me thinks that if she doesn't feel it's enough of an issue to contact me about it (prior to my initiating a call), then I should just let it be. Although, I have a hard time not doing anything - which would be daily reminders to DS about focus and staying on task, etc.

We've seen some of this at home lately with homework, too. The hw is easy enough, he just doesn't want to do it. What, on a good day, would take 20 minutes, lately has been taking him all afternoon because he'd rather procrastinate than just get it done.

When I asked DS about all this, he says that 1)he's bored, 2)the work is challenging and he does have to work at it, 3)he doesn't know why he gets out of his seat or why it takes him so long to transition from one activity to the next. *I'm* thinking that the work isn't as challenging as he thinks it is if he's getting high marks and still has time to be off-task, if you will. "I'm bored" for him usually means he doesn't like whatever it is he's "bored" with.

As far as hw goes, she said that she was open to him doing something different if he wanted to explore something in more depth. My first thought was "FANTASTIC", but then she said that of course, there are still those things that he'd have to do because they're a requirement. DS just isn't going to do more work if he still has to do even most of everything else. I believe she means well, but I'm not sure that she understands the lack of motivation DS has. She's aware that he learns/retains information quickly, but that he doesn't seem to go in depth with anything and she thought that might be something of interest to him - a project of some type. It might be, if that's all he had to do or it was in place of the other stuff - which doesn't seem would happen.

I'm just frustrated because I don't want DS to be a classroom problem, but I can't say as I'd be any different in the same situation. We're planning on HSing next year, but he's got to make it through this year first.

Any ideas? Leave it alone? Different perspective? I'm just not sure what to do to help him and the teacher. Thanks for reading, if you got this far.

In the Kindergarten thread I just posted about how my DS isn't being moved to 1st grade because of an extreme lack of focus. I have no ideas on what we can do as parents to help them with this. I suspect some (or a lot) of it is boredom. And DS always tells me how long and boring school is. And he doesn't know why he does the things that he does.

Does the teacher have any ideas that will help? I'm with you in that giving him only extra work won't help at all.

Not exactly...other than to maybe explore something more in-depth to develop/maintain/increase focus. But, I don't see that helping in the classroom since he'd have to do that at home, kwim?

Right, same response that we got here.

I wish I had some good advice for you!

My son has a hard time distinguishing between something being truly challenging or just challenging for him to complete because it's repetitive, tedious, or something he already knows. So, if I ask him if it's challenging enough he'll say yes, but I've come to learn that the inattention is my clue that it's actually not challenging enough. I think if it became too challenging, you'd see him NOT completing assignments or major frustration.

If you're dealing with underachievement like we are, forcing our ds6 to do work that isn't a challenge is like torture and only makes it worse. It's a toughie because I know how hard it is to get what he needs in the classroom.

Why would he have to bring the project home? She wouldn't let him work on that at school, or are you saying he wouldn't have time b/c he'd still have to complete the other work? If he could do it at school, would it motivate him to get his other work finished quickly so he can get to the "fun stuff?"

Sorry; I know it's so frustrating. We ultimately had to resort to homeschooling because of the same issues that just wouldn't go away. I think it's great that you saw the improvement earlier in the school year. That says there's hope. What did they do differently during that time period that held his interest?

I have the opposite issue in terms of projects. they insist he complete it at school (think I am doing it) but don't want to let him use keyboard or alternative stratagies to complete task. But that is not how it will be on the test. arggghhhh

Exactly why I think the distractability is still due to...not having to focus. I tend to imagine that if he gets the assignment and knows the objective, then total focus/concentration isn't required....which frees up his mind to wander or 'multi-task' (read "become distracted"). While he may not actually complete the work before this happens, he does complete it before allotted time.

Hm, good question. She didn't specifically state, but I gathered that it would be a home project in addition to some, if not most, of the reqular homework. However, even if he could work on it in class - I doubt he'd see it as "fun stuff". He might see it as slightly better than the same old class stuff, but I don't think she'd get from him what might be envisioned. We have motivation issues...

I think the newness of the school year, but now that we're going into the 5th month, it doesn't hold the same...excitement?


That would be aggravating. I sympathize.

JDAx3,
I'm so sorry that you are having a tough time. I can totally relate. We've been having the same issues with our son right now. I don't have any good advice for you since I am clueless what to do with our situation myself, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone...

Thanks. It's very frustrating because other than the obvious fact that it's most likely disruptive to the teacher's classroom management, it's hard for me to see a problem with the 'big picture'. Sure, he needs to learn the self-control, but I keep hoping that will come in time, with more effort and maturity. I don't know what else to do, at this point. It very well could be just the way he is...

Anyway, thanks for the kind words. And good luck to you in your situation.

JDAx3,
I somehow missed your post back in December and I wanted to ask how things are going? Did you come up with a solution that's working for your DS? My DS6 is similarly unchallenged in class and when I go in to help each week I see him not sitting still during group times and also entertaining himself with completely non-school related distractions since he already knows virtually everything being taught in class (I talked about this in another thread.) My DS's teacher knows he already knows everything but isn't doing anything about it, really, and my DS just has no interest in doing extra work when he sees his friends aren't. Did the project idea work to keep him focused during the other boring parts of his day? Was he able to work on the project at school? Did you come up with any other solutions? I, too, don't think it's okay that my son is not following the rules always, but it doesn't seem to have put up any red flags for his teacher, and honestly, what can you expect a six year old to do for 7 hours a day? Anyway, I'd love to know if you've found anything that works.