Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Finally...a place to introduce my DD5!

Do you have a copy of the 'Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual?'
Have you read 'Genius Denied' - I think you can read it online at the website.

Welcome! I agree it sounds like your daughter could benefit from some time with other gifted kids or kids who are at least older than her. Most 5-year-olds are not going to be interested in history. Heck, most 6 or 7-year-olds probably wouldn't be. My DS4 has had this problem as well. He desperately wants someone to build intricate androids, spaceships and whatnot out of legos with him and then use these lego creations to act out elaborate make believe stories. I don't have the energy for this myself, so I would invite other 4 and 5-year-old boys over for playdates, put out the legos, and say "go to it." Before long, I realized the other kids would build a simple car, lose interest and want to play something else, leaving DS4 disappointed. One boy a full year older than my son actually cried because he couldn't come close to building what my son was making. Now my son is in kindergarten and even though, at 4, he's the youngest kid in his class, the kids he comes home talking about--the ones who share and appreciate his passion for legos--are all either 6 or 7 and in grades 1 and 2. We're lucky in that he gets to see these kids throughout the day and spend lots of free time with them on the days he stays for after school care.

Is there any kind of mixed-age after school care or after school club that your daughter could participate in? You might be surprised by how many grades you need to go up to find your daughter's peers.

Welcome!

I just wanted to say something about how being with older kids can really help a child feel like they fit in better. My DD8 has always been shy. The kind of kid who whispers the answer to the kid next to her so that she doesn't have to raise her hand and be called on. The kid that you can barely hear speak when she is called on. The one that teachers didn't realize was so far ahead in class until they saw her test scores because, even though she was scoring 100% on almost all of her tests, she didn't ever say anything to the teachers about already knowing this stuff. The one who had tons of friends but still was always the quiet one. The one who learned to blend in and not make waves. This even after she has gotten early admittance to K. In fact, when she was first subject accelerated last year, her new teacher was at first concerned that the acceleration wouldn't work out because she was so shy. Skip ahead to this year where she is now completely grade skipped into 4th grade. She is so outgoing and funny and volunteers for everything in class, and everyone -- even all her old teachers -- notices the difference! It's so amazing to see. She is finally among her intellectual peers and she now feels safe to show her abilities and interests. It has really been an amazing transformation and I attribute it squarely to her being in the right school setting finally. So, some might argue how important it is to be among peers, and most always assume this means age peers, but because of a grade skip my daughter is now among true peers and it's been wonderful!

mnm,

Your story is inspiring to me. My daughter has been shy as well. Although way less so with every year that goes by. However, she's also become better at adapting to her environment. She even has gone so far as to changing the manner and cadence of her voice when talking at school.

I really do think she needs a safer intellectual environment. I think that the school will suggest a subject acceleration in math at the very least. She will benefit from the immersion into older classes now, so that next year she can go to fourth or fifth grade for reading. Interestingly enough, she feels as though older children must know a lot more than her and is a little intimidated. She was truly surprised and shocked to learn that she reads just exactly the same as a fifth grade student. I'm not sure what she envisions a fifth grade reader to be, but she certain it's beyond her.

Hearing success stories like yours is truly inspirational for a mom like me, just starting out on this unknown path.

My IEP is this afternoon. We'll see. I'll get the cognitive test scores and a whole lot more information about the direction the school would like to take as well as me. I fear I don't really know what to do with her right now. I hoping they have some suggestions as well. She's one complex little creature.

Thanks,
Crazy Daisy

Crazy Daisy,
How was the IEP yesterday? I hope she's going to start getting what she needs.

I know what you mean about your DD not believing that she knows as much as the other kids. My DD definitely thought the same thing at first. In the first week of her subject acceleration last year the teacher, in addition to noting her shyness, noticed that she was looking at the other kids' work to see what they'd done. She had to be encouraged to just do her own work and not worry about what the other kids were doing. Within a few weeks her confidence was up and she was at the top of the class.