Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy mommy guilt. may I please confess?

I have a friend with an HG+ child who is now 16. She still kicks herself over his horrible, painful, awful early elementary school years...8-10 years earlier.

So, yes, what you're feeling is a perfectly normal part of the process. It's like the stages of grief, and it follows a predictable pattern. That's both good news and bad news for you, I guess...

My best advice is to acknowledge that your guilt simply means that you are a good mom who loves her child. Then forgive yourself for not being perfect and do the best you can from where you are now. Guilt is a wasted emotion! It doesn't help you or your child, and it's part of that same perfectionism that you are seeing in your child and your younger self.

Even though it's normal to feel guilty, your best move is to let it go as quickly as you can. Move on to the last stages: acceptance and taking action.

Hang in there!

It is interesting to hear that Dr Ruf recommends skipping middle school and living abroad as this is almost what we did, except a bit earlier. We were away from 2nd - 6th grade for my older boys and k-5 for the younger and lived in 3 different countries. It was fantastic and the kids did get a LOT out of it , they went to local schools, were homeschooled and were in the best little international school ever in that time .

BUT now I am going through all the getting used to having gifted kids in school at a much later age than usual! I feel like I should know how to manage it all by this age but am having to deal with it for the first time and really have no idea what I am doing. That is why I lurk around here but don't say much

So while it is definately a great idea and I would recommend it to anyone that can manage it, it is certainly not a final solution, eventually they have to fit back in at school.

Cheers
Teri