Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Child not eating lunch at school

Do any of you have this issue? DS6 is in all day K and they barely have 20 minutes for lunch. I think the 20 minutes includes getting settled in the lunchroom and either getting the lunch or buying a milk so it's probably 15 minutes if he's lucky. DS is a picky eater so we usually do a sack lunch so I have a good idea of what he eats. I inspect his lunch bag when he gets home. A mouse could eat more than he has eaten. He never complains about the food I give him and he approves all the food I put in his lunch - he says he ran out of time. He has started complaining that they don't give him enough time and that the school needs to change their schedule. He asked if first graders get more time.

I did have the teacher show him the clock and how much time he has for lunch. That worked for a few days but has worn off. He is very skinny to begin with. The strange thing is that he isn't starving when he comes home from school at 4:15. I will sometimes give him supper at 5 though if he says he's hungry since snacks will just ruin his supper. They do have an afternoon snack which is some prepackaged processed snack provided by parents (they have to be prepackaged so that usually means something like goldfish or pretzels or cookies if it is someone's birthday).

It just bothers me that he is gone for 8 hours and he is barely getting any nutrition at all. I have worked so hard to give my kids healthy food at home and that seems to be going out the window at school.

Does he have any trouble opening containers? If he has to wait for a lunch aid to help him that could be part of the problem.
He may also see lunch as his opportunity to socialize instead of eat.
If it's a noisy cafeteria, would he shut down?
Can you go and have lunch with him at school to see what's going on?
Very frustrating!

He is easily distractable (also an issue in the classroom) so I can only imagine what he is dealing with in the lunchroom. I should probably go there and eat with him. I know it is loud from other parents commenting. Thanks!

I think it would be worth trying to eat at school with him to see what the issue is.

My DS always came home with a full lunchbox because he spent his time socializing instead of eating. . . . even breakfast at home takes 30++ minutes since DS's mouth never stops talking long enough to get any food in-

Same here. DS would rather play than eat at lunch. Once he gets into the car on the way home, he would start bingeing nonstop from 3pm to 8 pm.

When my son was in Montessori preschool he was exactly the same way...what was happening was that he was getting overwhelmed and distracted by everything that was going on around him (he definitely has OE issues) to the point that he ate like a mouse. He was always so skinny because he is not a breakfast eater and he would pick at his snacks I sent in (he helped pick out his snacks and lunch and it was always regular stuff he ate at home) and then he would barely eat any lunch. When we eat at home we like to sit and talk and meals are very relaxed and laid back but at school everything was rush rush rush to get through lunch. I started to go into school and would sit and eat with him and I could easily see why he was so distracted because lunch always seemed to be a zoo. Now that we homeschool it is not an issue but we went through the same thing

Same here.

And for the record 20 minutes is all DS gets as well, and it's SO not long enough!!!

We had the opposite problem last year. My DS6 would eat all his food in the first couple of minutes and then get in trouble because 22 minutes was too long for him to just sit at the lunch table. Our school switched to 18 minutes for lunch and there was mixed emotions from the parents. The truth is that some kids needs 5 minutes and some kids needs 30 minutes. The chaos in the lunch room---well that's another story!

Oh, we TOTALLY had this problem when DS was attending school. He prefers socializing to eating and would eat almost nothing all day at school. I tried to load him up before and immediately after school (I'd bring a nutritious snack to pick him up). I tried to send him fast, easy things he really liked to school.

Master of none - my DS sounds a lot like yours size wise. He just turned 9 within the past couple weeks. He weighs about 55 lbs I think. He's always been healthy and done a lot of active play though. He does eat better/more when he is active. Now that we're homeschooling, we have 2 designated snack times where it seems like he does most of his eating.

Yup, several of these kids sound like mine! DS7 is skinny--he hasn't gained weight in two years, just a pound or two up and back down again--and can't focus on eating. He eats a Toaster Strudel for breakfast, and I sit next to him saying "eat...eat...eat" until he's done. I don't know if he eats much lunch or not--and when I pack his lunch because they're having something he won't eat, his lunchbox comes home completely empty so I don't know what he ate there either. I know in preschool it was quite a struggle for them to get anything down him at lunch, and that was at a table with the teacher prompting everybody to eat.

Funny thing, a favorite story in my family was about when my uncle and his family came to visit when I was about 6, and my little cousin was about 4. My mom would be talking away to someone, pause and say "eat, Sam" to me, because I wasn't, and pretty soon my little cousin picked it up and started saying "eat, Sam" as she shoveled her food in and out-ate everybody. I guess DS7 comes by it naturally.