Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments HSers - how did you determine that HS was...

I really do appreciate everyone's thoughts/opinions/experiences, keep them coming.

We are researching a lot of different possibilities, but are finding that we're becoming much more comfortable with the idea of HSing, if even looking forward to it a little bit (although no decision has been made yet).

We are looking at it as a lifestyle change, which is probably why we're giving it so much thought. We have the ability to do it and actually, other than the obvious adjustment/transition for DS, it would probably work very well for our lifestyle. It just seems like such a big change, even though it's totally doable.

Lots of thought is good.

Any particular worries, fears, problems you might want to discuss? In my experience, the things people worry about re: homeschooling are often no problem at all, but things they never even considered as a problem wind up being really hard! Talking specifics might help you, maybe?

Feel free to ignore if you don't think so though...

And BTW, I'm big on honesty. It is surprisingly hard to find people not trying to sell you on why homeschooling is good or why homeschooling is rotten. Around here there seem to be more people who will tell you the truth, good and bad, rather than reading from a script of following an agenda. I think most people here--homeschoolers or not--just want happy, challenged, productive kids, regardless of how you get there.

Gosh, where to begin . I think one of the biggest questions I have right now is how to figure out how DS learns, if that makes any sense. I have my thoughts on it, but since he's just sort of coasted along in school, I'm not sure that I have a clear understanding of what works for him and what doesn't. For example - I do know that he doesn't need a lot of repetition, he's quick. He's easily frustrated if he doesn't get something the first time around, but we knew that was going to be a problem and are working on it. He doesn't seem to mind worksheet type work, but hates 'research' type things. I think that he's a do it, get it done, and move on type - he doesn't care to do long, drawn out projects.

But see, even with this info, I don't know if it's helpful in determining what's a good fit for DS. LOL, what I really need is someone who has taught DS when he was actually learning something to say "hey, this is what I observed". I know it must seem like I don't know my kid or something - I'm just not sure I fully understand how his mind works. UGH, I feel like I'm not making any sense.

Have to cut this short for now, but I'll be back. Thanks.

I just read your last post, and I wanted to chime in with my experience. I felt the exact same way you did. You do know your child; you're just used to being mom, not teacher. I have to tell you though, that once you start homeschooling, you learn so much about your child. It didn't take long for me to determine what workds for my ds6. It's an ongoing process, but trust me, it's the same in the school environment. The teacher is always assessing what workds best for the students, only she/he is usually trying to determine what works best for the MAJORITY of students (not just one, and I know my ds didn't fit with the majority).

We started out our first week or two using materials we had at home and from the library (lots of reading and real world math w/manipulatives, field trips to the science center, games). I also had a book that I got from the bookstore with lots of worksheets. I learned really quickly that the worksheets were a NO-GO! He absolutely freaks out when he sees a worksheet. That's all they did at the pricey private school we were paying for, evidently.

I've posted before on this site about how I always felt like I knew my child very well. After homeschooling, I feel like I REALLY KNOW him. It's amazing how much I've learned, especially about his abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. We've only been homeschooling for a month, and while we're still learning as we go, I feel like ds and I are doing really well. He's learning so much, and like I said before, my sweet boy is back!

I don't want to sound like I'm selling you on homeschooling because I'm sure it's not for everyone, but from one mom who had all the same concerns you do, it's the best decision I could have made. We still think of it as a temporary situation, but I'm not likely to change it unless I find something that works equally as well or better. We're always looking, but the longer I hs, the less motivated I am to find another alternative. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," right?

Good luck with your decision, and if you think of other questions, post away.

At the risk of sounding too idealistic, you do have access to someone who can tell you that kind of thing - your DS. It's his education, after all, and if you can get him to be a reflective learner that's an enormous gift in its own right. I suggest telling him you need him to observe his learning, starting with what he can observe retrospectively about what has helped him learn in the past. I expect he'll have trouble separating out what he enjoyed from what helped him learn (they do overlap, but are not the same thing) but maybe if you direct him to think about times he's started off thinking something would be boring or hard and in fact it's turned out interesting...?

Hi, JDAx3,

I'm not sure if our experience is entirely relevant to what you are wondering, but thought I'd throw in my two cents' worth. (And hey, with the loonie approaching parity, two cents is almost worth two cents again!)

We've homeschooled from the beginning, so I don't have an experiential basis for comparison with the suitability of "fit" for my kids. There are several factors that came into play when we were deciding to homeschool (none of this is intended to be a sales pitch, by the way!): one of the two or three primary ones is the fact that Frenchie works shifts, and the flexibility of the homeschooling schedule preserves our family life--this was a major, major deal for me--when I was working, too (pre-kids), I rarely had a day off on the same day he did, and it took its temporary toll on our marriage. I didn't think I needed to learn the same lesson twice! (You can teach an old dog a few new tricks!) This is also my handy-dandy reason I trot out to nosy strangers (the ones who won't go away without an answer, anyway), and it is very useful in that situation.

Another reason, of course, was worry about academics; Harpo (8, my oldest) was reading us bits and pieces from newspapers when he was two, among other things, and I couldn't see how school was going to be fun or interesting for him. If I were going to be perfectly honest with myself here, I'm afraid my own misery in elementary school influenced how I felt in this regard--even having been skipped twice (my parents turned down a third skip), I was bored and sad--there is no acceleration, period, in our district, nor any gifted programming until grade eleven, so this was going to be a problem, we thought. We can't afford private school (a friend calls homeschooling "private school for poor people"!).

Another reason was the sort of "safety" issues to which you referred on your other thread.

As time went along, other advantages seemed to me to involve some of those "fit" questions, at least inferentially. Groucho (6, my middle guy), for instance, is a jumping bean; he really needs to be in motion, and to have physical outlets for his energy. He is really not well-suited to sitting quietly at a desk for several hours at a go. Harpo is a quirky enough child that I think there may have been some bully problems at school--maybe not, but he has been able to find a few kindred quirky spirits in the homeschool community. (I loved something Erica said once, in response to a question about "what kind of friends do your kids have," and she answered, "friends with capes!")

It's not all roses, of course; unlike a lot of homeschoolers, I do in fact find the social aspect rather difficult, though it is gradually getting better (patience really is a virtue!); there are two homeschool groups in our community, one of which requires signing a lengthy statement of faith, which I cannot in good conscience sign, so that group of people is essentially lost to us. The other seemed at first to be entirely populated by radical unschoolers who wanted nothing to do with people who (gasp!) use any books; that set is certainly the largest and most vocal part of that group, but we are starting to find some other under-the-radar book-users, too, and finally feeling (in year four) as though we are acquiring a community.

The other difficult thing is juggling three different kids!

I do think, in regard to learning styles, that you figure it out over time (my three are quite different from one another in this regard); I think a willingness to dive in and try out various things, knowing full well that some stuff just isn't going to work, will probably serve you well in the long run.

As usual, this is far too long. I need an editor!

peace
minnie

Don't underestimate the value of finding friendships within the bricks-and-mortar schooled families, too. Some of that depends upon the culture of your area, of course. In some places, sadly, homeschoolers are utterly shunned. But I wouldn't assume that's true for you until you see it for yourself. I was really worried about being rejected socially, but the vast majority of our non-homeschooling community has embraced our kids warmly. In fact, DS8 went to a birthday party held by one of his soccer friends from the public school this past weekend, and he'd have been an easy kid to not invite! But he loves hanging out with those kids, and they like him a lot. My making a point never to bash the local school system probably helps with that. I won't do it. It's not nice!

He also runs around with the neighbor boys, and parents and kids alike enjoy having him around because he's such a nice, polite, funny kid. So some of that's personality. And it also helps DS8 that he is interested in many of the same things that other kids his age are into (Legos, Pokemon, superheroes, etc.). Kids with unusual interests tend to have a much harder time socially. But they'd have a harder time socially in school, too, so I don't think that's necessarily a reason not to homeschool. I would definitely have to say that as he gets older and can run around without me more, the social stuff gets easier.

Oh, and opening up our yard to all kids has been a big help. We have THE yard for outdoor play!

As for learning styles: JDAx3, you are way ahead of the game because you're thinking about this. You will learn a lot by doing. If you homeschool, just expect the first year to be a learning experience for you even more than for your child. Be flexible. Always ask yourself "Is this working? Could it work better? How?" Adapt and adjust. Always adapt and adjust!

To that end, I always recommend choosing the most flexible curriculum possible at the beginning of teh homeschooling journey, because chances are good that within a few months, you won't be using that curriculum anymore. At least choose cheaper materials so that you won't feel so worried about dumping them.

Before "school" starts and at various points throughout the year, I always ask my son what he wants to learn about, and I tailor the year to those interests. It helps to keep him interested and invested in what we're doing. It also lets me make him responsible for his own education. It's not up to me to "entertain" him. That's something that really works well for us.

HTH!

This is great and something that I look forward to. I can read DS better than anyone with regard to most things, and I used to see how much he was interested in learning, but I guess I haven't seen that in awhile (now that I'm really thinking about it). Truth be told, he's never really liked school, but I always just chalked it up to the normal 'I hate school, I'd rather play all day' stuff. I think as I'm reflecting on this, I'm realizing that there are signs we should have noticed, but we just didn't have any idea that it was that bad - by "that bad", I mean the lack of real challenge, that even his teachers may not have noticed because DS isn't/wasn't a squeaky wheel at school. I do know things about how he learns, but I just have a gut feeling that there's so much more to him that hasn't really been tapped into yet, and maybe that's what's causing me to feel like I don't know. Bleh, I feel like I'm rambling, LOL.

Excellent idea, now just how to do it. I think that DS hasn't really liked school for so long that even he doesn't remember what it's like to enjoy it. Anything related to school is a big turn-off to him right now. I think that he feels that he spends all this time at school, and doing homework, and doing GT stuff, and doing extra required things at school that other kids and teachers think are fun, but he just doesn't. DH brought home a book for DS the other day (8000 Things to Know or something like that, DS has always enjoyed encyclopedia type books) and he was really excited. Over the next couple of days, all we heard were the various facts and things he'd learned while perusing the book. It wasn't required reading and I saw DS really excited about it - and learning!! As opposed to all the stuff he has to do in/with/for school.

Too funny - DH made a very similar comment just the other day. We move around quite a bit and one of the main reasons we've been hesitant to do private school is because we're not sure we could always afford to keep him in wherever we may go. DH was in private school for a time and then went to public high school and he had such an awful transition experience, that he's adamant about not doing that to DS if we can help it.

This part of it makes me a little nervous. While I would most likely want to 'join' a group because I'd want DS to have some acquaintances/friends with a similar schooling experience, I'm the type that doesn't usually join groups. I like to make friends, meet people, and all that goes with it, but I'm also pretty content on my own too. I feel I'd have to find a pretty informal group if I were to go that route.

LOL, I think I've got this covered. My house seems to be one where kids are allowed to come inside to play from time to time. DS was hosting off and on, in and out of the house, all day yesterday, as evidenced by my empty cupboards and full to capacity dishwasher last night.


I hadn't really thought about approaching it this way, but it's a great idea.

Thank you so much to everyone. I really do appreciate all of the input and am taking it all in. I'm pretty sure I've broken some record for a marathon post and rambled on enough.

Thanks again!!

Better late than never......

I agree with letting your child "help" in deciding his curriculum. With my DS6, I said "Science" he chose Anatomy. One by one we went through the subjects until we were both satisfied. I believe that it is because of this process more than anything else that our transition to H/S has been so smooth.

Funny observation on the unschoolers. I've met a lot of unschoolers who after you talk to them for a while say "yes, we're unschoolers, but we do use curriculum x, y, z or hold to a certain schedule, etc)". I think many "unschoolers" in our community are really eclectic. Probably 75%+ of my kids day is spent unschooling. Pure unschooling could never be my style!

I saw a speaker at a local HS conference who unschooled her kids from birth through HS. One of the children sounded HG. She let go of all expectations of her kids going to college and jumping through any societal hoops. I personally could not do that! If one of my kids came to me seriously at 18 and said that they had an alternative to college, I'd listen and act accordingly. But at 8 & 5, they are on a road to college prep as far as I'm concerned. And if that means we're going to spend an hour or 2 working traditionally a day, so be it. Her kids actually turned out fine as productive adults (so kudos to their family), but definitely not my thing!

Kriston commented earlier about embracing the schooled community and I whole heartedly agree! Without our schooled friends, we would be in big trouble ourselves and may have chosen a different route. I thought we might get shunned in a neighborhood where most people LOVE our neighborhood school. Not at all. It also helps that both kids enjoy and play well with most kids and are pretty extroverted.