Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Future and competition -- a chinese viewpoint

Getting into top colleges is hard, and will always be hard. But it is not impossible to get into Harvard as a Chinese-American. My older daughter get in this year. She did have near perfect score and a host of other things. Her main competitions are not those from China. This year, Harvard admitted a grand total of 5 students (under-graduate) from mainland China.

Just my opinion, but: I'm not convinced that being concerned about college admissions is productive now, at least not for me. My kids are all very young, and the admissions process could be very different when my kids (aged 5 - 9) are ready to apply to college.

We're going to encourage DS9 to take a couple of years between high school and serious college. He's going to graduate two years early and we'll encourage him to explore different subjects at one of the local community colleges, get a part-time job, enroll in internship programs, take up a serious hobby...whatever strikes his fancy for the most part. Well. We probably wouldn't be happy with "Think I'll surf the web 'til I'm 18."

The idea behind all this is to give him a huge gift of time to explore the world and his interests when he won't have many other responsibilities. If it works out, DS7 and DD5 will hopefully have exploring time as well.

Val

Right on, Val!

We couldn't afford Harvard even if our kids were accepted. From my own experience and my husband's, I know that where you go for your undergraduate degree is less important than where you go for your graduate or professional degree.

Many people have not even heard of the small liberal arts college where I went as an undergrad.

Val,

Totally respect your view but that is also your plan. You are thinking about his options and what you could direct him towards, and he is 9. That is kind of what I am thinking, but my thinking is different. But at least my thinking is paying off right now. Thinking negatively makes a lot of money these days in the markets. Last fall, it was like printing money.

And that is my other "plan". I will teach DD to trade when she gets to about 12.

Ren

My dd9 has her whole future planned ahead (all by herself, mind you!!).

She will graduate from middle school 1-2 years younger due to grade skips. Plans to attend Phillips Exeter for high school and do dual enrollment at Harvard/MIT as both a Medical doctor and engineer (at the same time!!) and on full scholarship too. She used to be set on Harvard, but her robotics coach is a MIT graduate and he told her about dual enrollment, so now that is her new plan.

It has never crossed her mind that she might not get in any of these schools....Oh, and she plans to spend a year in France between High School and College. I don't think this kid is lacking in self-confidence!

Let me make something clear, I am not a pushy mother, she was born this way.

I sort of understand where u are coming from. Where my home country is, gifted programs are provided in public schools for kids who are selected when they are in grade 3 (9yo). In recent years, the local kids face competition from increasing students from China(one or 2 years older in the same grade since they are need time to catch up on English). There are parents who are unhappy that limited spaces are "possibly" being taken by these bright, extremely hardworking and older Chinese kids.

My "plan" for my kids are quite similar to Val. At this moment, I am going to encourage and support them to follow their interests. I would also like to keep their enthusiasm and passion in life and not get drawn into the herd mentality. The last thing I want to is to be sucked into the "Havard Fallacy". No offence. JMO. *wink*

I think it comes down to how you define success - for some it's prestige on the socio-economic ladder, for others it might be making a difference in the world, facing personal challenges, pursuing an artistic endeavour, raising a family well.

The people who have "stuff" that I would like to have, and the people I feel priveledged to know, who I admire for their character and their achievements, are generally quite different.

Having both would be good of course.

Well, I think what I was trying to say was that the idea is to give my kids freedom to choose. If one or more wants to go straight to a four-year college, DH and I wouldn't hold them back. We might not be enthusiastic about letting a 16-year-old live on the other side the country in a dormitory full of 18-23-year-olds, but that's a different story. I expect that this particular decision would depend a whole lot on the maturity level of each kid. Plus, there are lots of great colleges and universities where we live.

Ultimately, for me/us, the decision about which college to attend has to be the child's. We're trying to teach our kids to make their own decisions, and college choice fits into that category. In college, I knew people who'd been handed a list of approved colleges when they were 16/17 or who entered professions based on parental expectations. Many of them weren't happy or were less independent than might have been optimal (or both). I think that these seeing their experiences helped helped me form my approach to parenting.

I guess this is why I doubt I'll ever be concerned with admissions to an Ivy League school: it's really my son's or daughter's thing to worry about. Not that I won't be happy or sad at the outcome and be rooting for the kid to get into his/her first choice. But I believe that I need to back away to a certain degree.

Just my 2c! YMMV, etc. etc.!

Val

I do understand about choices and knowing DD5, who makes Hilliary Clinton look like a follower, will make her own decisions when that time comes. Though she does have considerations that are real life. She has a Canadian citizenship, which I got right after she was born and she will have to spend some time there and it could be undergrad or graduate, who knows. But that may be a strong option for practical reasons.

Her first present from her father was a cap from Harvard. She was still in the womb. She went to the first Harvard/yale game before she was 2 months old. The propaganda is strong. Not for Ivy league. Just Harvard. Yale is a four letter word in our house.

As for being born that way, when everyone was playing house, I played female executive living in a penthouse in NYC -- as a kid in a small midwestern city in Canada -- where did that come from.

We find our path. And DD will sure take hers, though with "strong" guidance from me..;)