Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Do you ever doubt?

Sorry this might be rambling, but I just need to write it out to get my mind around it.

DD is 2.5 and so of course hasn't been tested yet.
I have been told by her pediatrician, well 2 different ones actually, that she is gifted.....but sometimes I just wonder or fear I guess that maybe she isn't. What if I think she is and then one day find out shes not? It's hard I guess for me becuase she is so verbal, talkative, and different at home and when I compare her to children her age when we are in groups with them, yes she is different then them, well the child she is at home is different from the other kids. But in groups she is so reserved and quite, and couldn't those children be just the same as her but not shine in a group too. Maybe alone and at home they are all like DD?....

I mean I know her language is advanced, she has been talking in sentences since she was 15 months, at 2 she was speaking over 550 words and in up to 10 word sentences, at 2.5 2500+ words and complex sentences up to 20 words.

But I guess I wonder does language make her gifted?....yes she knows a lot more then most kids her age, but couldn't it just be that I introduce concepts to her and their parents don't? Yes she knows all shapes including quarterfoil and ellipse, but wouldn't other kids if there parents told them what they were, and same with colors, her ped kept being amazed by the list of colors she knows including fushia and periwinkle, but again, wouldn't other 2.5 year old's if their parents told them? Or would they not. What constitutes a parent sharing knowledge with their child and what constitutes gifted? She does pick up concepts very quickly, I usually have to just tell her something once for her to grasp and remember, and she learned her alphabet and the sounds the letters make within 5 days....is that what makes gifted? Is it the speed of learning?

Or is it that she can apply information she has heard in a book to different parts of life? I read to her about planets and know she plays using that knowledge, and today she sat in for a few minutes in our homeschool astronemy class for 6-7 year olds and a little boy said "pluto is the smallest planet" and DD said "pluto's not a planet anymore" Is it this ability to apply knowledge?

I guess I am just wondering how do you know? Without testing how do you not doubt yourself?..... I know it really doesn't matter, I mean she is who she is, and she is a wonderful, loving, funny child, and the only difference it really akes is in education, but it is hard not to doubt myself and wonder if she is advanced because of what I teach/show her and not because she is advanced.

Okay, sorry for the long ramble. This is just the only place I feel like anyone would know what I was talking about LOL.

I don't know if anyone has suggested Dr. Deborah Ruf's book to you yet but you should definitely get a copy of it. She has recently changed the title but it use to be 'Losing Our Minds'. She goes through the levels of gifted and signs to look for at different ages. It really helped me get past some of the denials.

This said ... I have been here with my DD (a recently turned 3 yr old). She is a very verbal child and learned a lot of the basics way before she should have and yes the books were around but we certainly didn't make it an agenda for her. As for the isn't it possible that it is just because the other kids have not been exposed to it ... I have a few comments and I hope it doesn't come off as negative. I have a friend that has a daughter who is 2 months younger than mine. We talked all the time about what the babies were doing which led to me informing her of what DD was doing ... she in turn would add it to the curriculum for her daughter. It is night and day the differences between the two girls. And for another example... my DD has been in dance since turning 2 and the moms talk. On a few occasions the conversation turned to how they were frustrated when trying to teach their 3 yr old daughters colors. For most normal kids it takes numerous repetition for them to get the concept. I had a woman on another board give an example that resonates with me about the differences. She talked about teaching a bedtime prayer. The normal child will be able to add one or two words each night but still stumble on it while the gifted child will memorize phrases of the prayer and have it by a couple of nights. I smiled the other day, thinking about that when my DD clearly had learned some prayers at school. It was her second day at preschool and she was reciting the whole prayer.

And the other big sign of not 'normal' at this age is being able to reuse the information later on, such as the planet example. One time we were driving home (DD was around 2) and she asked why the trees looked dead. I explained to her that they were dormant and would be blooming again in the spring. That night she informed me that she needed to become dormant to blossom in the morning.

I hope that helps and definitely get a copy of the book. It really will help.

Thank you! That really does help. I just requested Wed for our library to get a copy of Dr. Ruf's book through inter-library loan.

What you said really helped me. It doesn't take any repitition for DD to get things. Sometimes I barely remember telling her something when she spouts out some info a few days later LOL.

And the prayer thing.....DD has had the bedtime prayer we say memorized after the 2nd time we said it. And it's a long one.

Again, thank you so much. Definitly will get a copy of the book.

I think we all have doubts at some point. For me, the time for doubting whether she is gifted has passed, but I still have doubts as to whether she is HG+ or MG.

I also think Ruf's book is a good way of getting out of gifted denial. Once I looked through her examples of her level 4 kids and compared them to DD (DD seemed more advanced, for the most part), it became very clear that DD couldn't be _not_ gifted.

I doubt all the time. I'm sure she is very bright and I'm starting to be convinced she is at least MG, more than that I don't know. For us she is so normal and we are surrounded with smart little kids. She just seems more advanced than the other smart toddlers we know.

I also have noticed that I forget that somethings might be advanced for her age if she has been doing/knowing it months even for a year, like colors, body parts, shapes, alphabets, route counting etc. With puzzles I have noticed her being quite different. She is easily doing up to 48 piece puzzles (that is the most we have). DDs almost 4 year old friend is about the same level with puzzles than she and her 2-3 year old friends at the daycare do not seem to get the idea at all. I see them sitting next to a simple jigsaw and just trying randomly to fit the pieces together. All these are kids with great vocabulary and highly educated parents.

Sometimes DD does something I notice like recently I asked her in english "what letter does apple start with?" and she said A (not the sound the letter). DH was shocked and I was quite surprised as we have not done leapfrog videos and I have never before asked similar questions. I knew she understood that letters make sounds and words but I did not even think she would understand the question as we rarely speak english to her. Still it does sound normal to me as I'm so used to her

She can also easily understand natural phenomenon like how body functions or plants grow. She seems to be at the same level than her almost 4 year old friend, except she knows more but I'm convinced the boy could know too if somebody would give him a chance.

I've been in denial for a long time even with Ruf's book but it helps. I believe my dd is a lower level 2.

And she recently "bombed" a WPPSI-III! I posted this elsewhere but we helped out a friend who is obtaining his master's in Psych. He asked if dd can take an IQ test for his class. I was skeptical because of her age but wanted to help him out.

She did stellar during the first section but then completely fizzled out after that! I asked her why later on and she said that she just didn't want to tell him anything anymore!

We haven't gotten the results yet but it gave me some denial. BUT when I think about Ruf's book, she still fits the Level 1/Level 2 stuff perfectly. I think I was just disappointed but got over it and now laugh about it - especially her response!

Oli,
I hear you. I too forget sometimes how advanced somethings are since she has been doing it forever.....She has know all and I mean all body parts since 12-18 months, 12 months she could point to all when asked, 18 months she could say the names as well as use them in sentences. Colors have been the same. She has know all major colors since before 2, and knows lots of oter color names that are not pain colors, like periwinkle and fushia, silver and gold, etc. She has been rote counting for a long time and is now up to 30, sometimes higher, as well as being able to look at a group and name how many objects it has in it without counting. I do sometimes see this as all normal until it is pointed out in surprise by people....because she these are not new skills, she has been doing them for forever it seems. She also can tell you what letter words start with to. Which I know the kindergartin class in my mom's school does towards the middle of the year and many kids struggle with.

Another thing I have noticed, DD gets extreamly facinated by subjects, right now it is space....she can tell you more then most kids 3 times her age.....she wants to know everything and asks so many questions. She gets complex subjects without me really even explaining. She now likes to explain gravity and the solar system to people. LOL....The other toddlers we know, though smart, do not seem to get as intense about subjects that intrest them, nor grasp the concepts she does.

I ordered the Dr. Ruf book since our library couldn't et it for me and it will be here Wed. So excited to get it!

Yeah, I think that's one of the reasons tests aren't great for kids this age. I can't imagine my DD showing anything like her true abilities in a conversation with a stranger. Heck, she probably wouldn't even do well if I were the one giving the test (which obviously would be unethical anyway).

Earlier today I asked her a test question I'd read on another site. I said, "Hey, why do cars have seatbelts?" And she said, "I don't know. You tell me." I said, "No, you tell me." She said, "No, let's ask the librarian. Or, let's ask Daddy." I said, "No, I just want to know what you think." She refused to answer. Then, when we were getting in the car a few hours later, she told me to buckle my seatbelt. I said, "Why?" She said, "You need to wear your seatbelt because you won't be safe without it." LOL. I mean, I knew she knew that...but still, so funny to hear her say it after the earlier conversation on the same day.

Sometimes I think their minds are whirling wonderlands which throw up all sorts of fascinating ideas depending on where their fancy is taking them at any particular time.

Other times I think they do it on purpose to drive me mad.

Oh my! Her response is so something DD would say. She knows things but she will say "I dont feel like it" and then refuses to do it.

From Dr. Ruf's website, DD fits high level 3 or level 4....cant wait to get the book and explore further.

Thank you all so much for sharing