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DD10 has always been a sensitive child; crying when reading a sad book, incredible empathy toward others and pondering deep issues early on. I figured her teen years would be extra challenging for us, but I didn't think we'd be faced with it this early. She is otherwise not going through puberty, but her mood swings may be the first sign.

I'm not sure how to handle her when she is extremely frustrated or moody (she doesn't know why). I've tried having her go cool off in her room, but she just continues to cry alone, which makes me feel horrible for her. I've tried to talk about it, but she doesn't know why she is frustrated or sad. DH has even harder time communicating with her during these episodes, which doesn't help

Luckily it doesn't happen every day, but I'd like to find ways for her to cope with it. School is great this year, she has friends etc. so I think this may be a normal part of development for her. Any good books on the subject? Websites? Advice from parents who have BTDT? HELP!

Jen

Thanks Dottie and CFK,

My DS4 is the one that whines and has meltdowns over silly stuff. DD has been the easy going girl that is sensitive but it has been somewhat easy to manage. The new moody attitude is so foreign to me that I don't know what to do.

It usually starts with little brother aggravating her and she gets frustrated and starts yelling and then crying. Or if DH asks her to do a chore she grunts and resist and then end in tears again. Before, she would have just got up and done the chore. What really concerns me is that when she gets frustrated and cries, it takes a long time to calm down and sort it out. Or maybe it just feels like a long time to me, LOL!

Jen

I think that teaching our kids emotional resilience is part of our job as parents. They need to know that everyone has ups and downs. learning to deal with those swings is a part of growing up.
Hormones definitely have a lot to do w/ it, but the realization that you're different from your friends is tough.
I have encouraged my 3 gifted kids (2 sons and a daughter) to figure out who they are, deep inside, and to stick to their principles when times get tough. This seems to really help when the tears are flowing. I remind them that being a really good version of themselves is more important than being a poor imitation of someone else (paraphrasing Judy Garland), and they are terrific just the way they are.
Love is the answer!

Don't forget to add the new factor of "hormones" into the picture. Some girls have real issues with changes before the changes ever happen. I can't recall the actual name of it (it's like pre-menopause only it's something like pre-puberty), but it generally affects girls between the ages of 10-12.

I send my son for a run with the dog if he is having one of those moments