Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Got our letter

Hi Trinity, Now I'm afraid my last post sounded pitiful, which really wasn't my intent. I am actually on a pretty even keel these days. But I am grateful to those who spoke of not getting in and I wanted to encourage other thin-envelope people out of the closet since I know you are out there.

The truth is that not getting in hurt just enough that it made me muster the nerve to start interacting on this board. By meeting everyone, I have felt better about the whole experience and I do feel I belong here.

I think my original error when we applied a year ago had been relying on DYS and the tests we had done to tell me where DS fit in level of giftedness--I wanted their validation. Really, I have found talking to everyone here to be much more helpful in getting perspective.

Hi acs,

You do not sound pitiful at all. You're just being real. I've found it very therapuedic to be real here, in a supportive environment.
It sure is a dissapointment to get the "thin letter"-hee hee.
Your DS is really special and unique, same with my girls.
I had pinned my hopes on getting a little help, cause we all know these kids can wear you down.
When I got the letter, I let out a deep breath and cursed under my breath. "Well that one didn't work out". Realistically, though, with our without Davidson help I will continue to advocate at school, wear myself down trying to locate mentors and peers and do basically whatever I need to provide my girls with the things they need. We can all do that. And when we get worn down, we can come hear and "chat" with those who truly do get it.
We need true peers to connect with, same as our kids.

Peace,
Incog

Oh by the way, Dottie I am glad we are all sharing as well. My only concern would be if some were reading these posts and second guessing whether or not they should apply.
From what I've heard others say, it is very much worth the discomfort of the application process if your child is accepted.
So, If you think your child would benefit, you should apply.

Our letter did not say unable to determine at this time. It was a very nice letter, actually. They simply asked that we have DD7 take an achievement or talent search/college placement test in order to make a final determination.

Sometimes I am glass half empty. We have one year from date of the letter to comply and it does state that the committe would PREFER an individually administered achievement test. They are, however, very understanding that this may not be feasible and will accept group administered college search or college placement tests. I had to pull my letter back out and take a closer look. IMHO, If we are to spend the money to get this done, I'd rather give them what they seem to be looking for.
This is quite a reasonable request in my opinion. I'm hoping to find peers for DD and if she isn't at the same level as the other children, this won't help me reach that goal for her.
Dottie, thanks for the suggestion on achievement tests, that helps.
Thanks for all the info. No matter what happens with DYS, I'm happy to have e-met all of you!!!!!

Incog

Oh, I so agree! And as someone who has always needed external approval, I feel for you perhaps more than I should or more than you need, or something...more...like that... I think you're right that the conversation here is good for us. This is such a supportive group of people, and I feel like I've been allowed to draw my own conclusions about my DS6 and his needs and abilities, regardless of outside approval. That's a good thing.

FWIW, from all the things you've said, it seems pretty clear to me that you're in the right place, acs. And as someone wise here said once, if you are finding things on this forum that make sense to you and are useful to you, then you can tell you're in the right place.

It's such a strange path we walk with these kids, isn't it?

Incog,
That is exciting. If you are inclined to get the achievment test, then I'm going to suggest that you sign up for the Explore as well, if it's offered near you. Why?

1) Insurance
2) Help you fill out the Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual (although I've forgotten where you stand on grade skips. Even if you aren't interested, I found it really helpful to clear my mind about who my kid is.)
3) Many kids enjoy taking these kind of test.

Anyway, I think you got a good letter, although not as good as one might have wished.

Smiles,
Trinity

Thanks, Kriston. Of course, as I am sure you know from your own experience, the "wisdom" came to me only as the result of months of agonizing!! Frankly, I'd rather have the thick envelope and a little less wisdom. LOL!

Please let me warn you that pinning hopes on a single achievement test may not be reasonable. If you get what you want/expect, then great!, but if you don't, then is it really reasonable to think that your DD is not a true peer to at least some of the DYS kids? There is a lot more that goes into that determination than just a score and a letter from DITD.

My sense, as I've read this board, studied the DITD material, looked at tests and read books over the last year, is that DYS cut-scores are set to pick up all level 5's, most level 4's and some level 3's (based on Ruf's levels of giftedness).{I made this up, so feel free to set me straight if I'm off base here} But I was just looking at Ruf's book and saw on the charts at the end of the chapter that over half the kids she places at level 4 who had testing in addition to the SBLM had a least one score that would *not* have made the DYS cut-off. Over 3/4 of the level 3 kids had at least one score the was below, and there was even a level 5 kid who had a score below the cut-off on one test. So my point is that scores on one or two tests just are not always going to tell the whole story.

I'm not saying to drive yourself crazy chasing THE score if the first one isn't as high as you expected. But I am saying that if you do some reading and pay attention to your child and other children and you still feel that the score and your perception just don't fit, then it's probably the score that's not accurate.

I was thinking more of company than competition. Of course highly intelligent parents, like ourselves, will look at the data and see if it answers our questions. I was grinning ear to ear at Acs's Insight. I also agree heartily with Acs's conslusion:

Thank you all for your wise advice.
ACS, I hear you and agree with you. I know who my DD is whether or not she is accepted into the program....thank you for your kind and understanding words.
Of course I hope we can have some help through Davidson, regardless, My DH and I are committed to making sure both daughters receive the care and attention they need to grow up into the amazing adults we know they can be.
And have a lot of fun along the way.

Thanks all!
Incog