Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy What to do now?

I posted here a while back about my son. Last year he was in pre-K and the year was so, so bad. I'd get calls about once a week to go pick him up because they couldn't handle him.

This year I moved him to a public Montessori. They told me before I moved him that they would be able to test him and move him up to a different grade for the things that he was advanced in. I was SO excited about this. I talked to the teacher last week at open house and she said that because my son is "fidigity" they want to wait until after Christmas to test him because they don't think he'll be able to sit still long enough in a higher grade. This week I started getting notes home like last year. I'm now so scared that this year will end up being just like last. He's bored out of his mind and does all that he can to make the other kids laugh just so he can get some entertainment out of school.

SI was going to wait it out until Christmas and hope that he could sit quietly enough during the day not to get into too much trouble but I don't see that happening.

Last year they were telling me that he had severe behavior problems (because he wanted to do things like count in Spanish instead of English) so I took him to his pediatrician a few weeks ago. His pediatrician said that my son was an absolutely normal highly intelligent 4 year old. That he wished the school board had a program like him and wished he could do something to help us. He said that the complaints last year that he would tune out are just because he was bored. After sitting with my son for about an hour he said that he can tell that if he's interested he can focus really well but when he gets bored he tunes out.

So what do I do? Should I wait it out and see what happens at Christmas or go in and talk to them now? I don't want to cause problems and I teach him a lot at home so I'm not worried about him not learning. I just want him to be somewhat stimulated at school so that he doesn't cause problems. At this point I'm ready to pull him out and homeschool him but because I work full time I'm not sure how I can work that out.

You need to worry that your son's behavior will become ingrained as a response to all things that bore him and then will spill over into all things that he does not want to deal with.

I'd search on here for testers and psychologists in your area. They would be the first place to start. They can give you your options on what you need to do based upon an evaluation of your son.

I took DS to a psychologist this week to get tested to apply for the Young Scholars program so when he calls me with the results I think I'll talk to him about this.

Not only am I afraid that his behavior will continue but I'm afraid that school will become a negative place for him. Last year he'd ask me quite often to please just teach him at home.

I can't imagine a 3 or 4 year old who wouldn't fidget or act out when bored. Personally, I think a 4 year old would be better off playing without any instruction than sitting through lessons that aren't teaching him anything anyway. Is there a way to pull him out and wait until he is more mature before you attempt school? (Of course, that'll mean that he's even further ahead by the time he's in school, but if they're willing to accelerate if he is mature, why can't you just pull him out, wait for him to mature, and then put him back in and accelerate him?)

ETA: I know you said you can't afford to homeschool, but is a play-based daycare an option?

But if I do that and start him in Kindergarten next year I'm afraid it'll be even worse. He'll be more bored and act out more. He's the youngest in his class so I know I could start him in K next year if I wanted to. It's something to think about.

I know that everybody on here has dealt with it but it's so frustrating to me that they think his 90 minutes of enrichment a week are enough. His teacher told me that when she said they weren't going to move him up for reading. That he got gifted once a week and that's good enough.

I could put him in daycare, maybe. The waiting lists for the decent ones around here were a year when he was a baby.

I work from home and my boss is pretty good to me so I think that before I'd put him back in daycare I'd see if he could work with me so I could keep him home.

What about finding an in home daycare whose owners home school their own kids? Mr W is going into this arrangement next week. You could supply the curriculum and he could work it at his pace with caregivers who have no pre-conceived ideas??

Or a split-day arrangement? Mornings with you and afternoons at the in-home care??