Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Oh, so, so slow

Quietly losing my mind in this little corner of the world. It's all about DS6 (going on 7), HG. You see, no-one is disputing his ability, school is great and has accelerated him, but oh, he is soooo slow! I mean at everything! He just seems to be in his own world when it comes to 'time'. For instance he has no gross or fine motor problems but he is always last to finish his work and go to sit on the carpet at school. It wouldn't matter if it were Pre-K work, or 3rd Grade work (which the school has put him with). I try to defend him (Mom is like that), putting it down to perfectionism, and although there's an element of this, it really isn't the answer. Heck, he even walks slow - without a care in the world. Probably the only thing that is not slow about him is his brain! I really don't know if this character trait is in any way related to giftedness or ADD , but if there is anyone out there dealing with this too, or has any helpful knowledge/hints, please help.

Sorry, forgot to mention that DS has no other behavioral issues, is social and Math is his thing.

WOuld wearing a watch help so he knew when he needed to be finished?

Thanks. I'm considering the ADD testing too, but like you am worried about misdiagnosis etc. Chatting with him this morning about school work, he was talking about daydreaming. When I suggested he speed up with the work (which is never difficult for him) so that he could daydream when it was done, he complained that he would just be given more work to do, and the only opportunity to daydream at school was at Recess. If I wasn't so bothered I'd find it funny! I like the idea of a watch too, but he's pretty obsessed with time, money ... anything Mathematical, and I'm concerned that it may cause more problems as he may focus on the watch more than the work. Not sure.
Thanks for the help .... we'll keep digging.

We have the slow gene in our house. My ds has it, slow for walking, or whenever his brain says to slow down. Sometimes he's very fast. Sometimes, timed tasks in particular, he's like molasses in January in the arctic. My mom used to complain about my father 'taking his time' with things. And then she would say the same about me...and also that I was too relaxed. Ha.

What do I think helps me? Clocks, watches, now that I've learned to read/bother to look at them. Growing up helped. Now I can be really really really fast at stuff, especially if I like the work. And generally don't think of myself as slow at all.

This also helped me see all this slowness in a better light.
http://www.neurolearning.com/nagc2004.pdf

My 2E (ADD/dyslexic) DH drives me nuts because he is incapable of hurrying. When we're in a rush, he does look to me like he is in slow motion. Or when we're doing something together on the computer, and he is the one controlling it, I feel a bit like I'll lose my mind watching him sloooowly move the mouse. I wonder if it is related to ADD...and if so, whether I should cut him some slack.

Oh was I ever slooooow! I used to sit down in the lunchroom and the teachers would be telling me lunch was over before I had even taken a bite. I never understood how that happened. I am ADD, but of course didn't know it then. Fortunately, I could do my work quickly once I started, but switching from one thing to the next was not fast. I ran fast, talked fast, but daydreamed away a lot of my school days.

As for the ADD or ADHD diagnosis, remember that you can get a diagnosis and then decide what to do with it. My DS was diagnosed with ADHD at 9, but we decided that this was causing problems for the teacher, but not for him or his learning, so we didn't do anything with the diagnosis except try to help him stay on task. Now at 11, it's begun to cause him problems with learning and with self-esteem issues, so we have started a stimulant medication. I don't think I would medicate a 6 year old (but there are lots of things I thought I would never do .

Watches, organizers, and all of those things are great ideas, but the person using them has to buy into the need. I didn't in elementary school and neither have my kids. The kids who are already organized love them! Like chris, what helped me the most was growing up.

Be aware down the road that ADHD can roll over into low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression if the person starts to feel badly about who they are and how they function in this world. I spent a lot of time beating myself up for losing things all the time. Self-education is a wonderful thing, but maybe not at 6!

Good luck!

Oh, do I feel your pain!! DD6 can be slower than slow, and it is painful. Sometimes I feel like just picking her up (which I can do because she's a peanut ) and physically moving her to whereever it is we're going. She can move fast, go fast, do things quickly, if she wants to, and (and this is the big part) if she sees it as something interesting and useful.
Homework is torture! 3 hrs to do something that she can do in 15 minutes if she wanted to! Going to the restroom can take up to half an hour if we let it.
With DD it is all about the brain going so fast that she can't "walk and chew gum at the same time." I think the part of her brain that controls motion goes into slow gear when it is actively pursuing other "bigger and better" ideas.
Sometimes we can make a race out of things and see who can do a task first. She loves to beat me at things like brushing teeth or getting dressed or her finishing her work before I'm done with the dishes. (You get the idea.)
I put it down to an age - body mismatch. If she moved as fast as her brain worked we'd all be in trouble.

Well in our personal experience, DS got very very slow last year at everything. We didn't know why- he wasn't always ridiculously slow, though he was always uncoordinated and didn't have fantastic fine motor skills. First his schoolwork was slow then it bled into other things.

Then I watched his class.... and it all made sense. The faster you were, the more boring worksheets you had to complete. You already colored A? Oh goody- here it is in a different font. You already finished your math? Oh goody- here it is with beans instead of corn kernels. Last one in line? Awesome, you get to sit at the end of the bench instead of being squished in the middle. Last one to circle? You get to sit in the back where you can daydream uninterrupted.

I suddenly realized that he had NO reward whatsoever for being fast at anything.

I realize this isn't the case with everyone and that there are certainly kids who are just not that fast. But for us, it helped immensely when I started having a "carrot and stick" approach. "First one to the car can choose the music!" "Last one to the table has to clear the dishes!" Suddenly, he began having a bit of pep and motivation at home.

Didn't change anything at school- we had to change schools to make that happen but that's an entirely different story.

We had one year like this and I realized by January that the teacher and I were so far apart in philosophy that she could not hear me. It's sad because I end up sounding like I think only my child needs something different when what I want to say is that NO ONE needs that kind of instruction. I just think it is MORE damaging to the GT kid.