Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion So he CAN be successful.....

...for those that have followed our saga over the past weeks...DS6 was homeschooled last year and we are attempting first grade public school for the past 2 weeks. We had a huge meeting to discuss that he was HG and needed to be accelerated as stated on all the assessments we had done in May but the school has been NO help at all...and instead of focusing on getting his intellectual needs met by allowing him to work at his accelerated level, they instead have focused on how to improve his behavior....with the school psych actually asking if we had considered medication for his issues with being able to sit still and not bother others! He has been bored out of his mind and has turned into a massive behavior problem.

Well today, his teacher was out and a substitute was in...she informed me that he was an amazing student and extremely bright. She said she had ZERO problems with him all day and that she really enjoyed working with him and she said the trick was to keep him busy all morning long - DUH!!!!! When he finished his work he was allowed to pull out his Sudoko book or could work in the workbooks I sent him for him (that his teacher did NOT allow him to do). So for 2 weeks this kid has been sent out of the room for misbehaving, has been forced to complete ridiculously easy worksheets and work, has been made to feel like an outcast and bad kid until FINALLY someone said, well...you just have to keep him busy so he doesn't have time to fool around - THANK YOU!!!
I then asked if I could please clone her so she could teach my son and she said she would LOVE to be able to work with him and then shared that she was applying for the open first grade teacher position for the school (the classes are overcrowded so they have been allowed to hire a new first grade teacher and they will take 2-3 kids from each class to form the new class)...she said maybe I could put a good word in for her in the office...which I did immediately. The secretary turned around and said that DS was so successful today because the sub allowed him to do what he wanted to do which is counter productive to what his teacher has been working on...his teacher wants him to do the same work as all the other students and not misbehave and because today he was allowed to supplement with his sudoko and harder materials AFTER he finished his regular work - he was allowed to do "what he wanted to do" and so there were no problems. WELL DUH!!!!!!! What kid wants to be forced to do easy work day in and day out and NOT expect them to rebel?
God, if there was a light to brighten our day it would be that this lady gets hired and I beg that he get moved into her classroom. It was just such a nice breath of fresh air and finally let us see that HE CAN BE successful in the correct environment with the correct teacher who does not rule with an iron fist or making all student conform to her box. I was almost giddy today from being so happy that he was successful today!!!!! Medicine my foot!

WOW that's great news Belle! But you have to consider what you will do if this teacher does not get hired. And, is the current 1st grade teacher's attitude, the norm? After all, there is 2nd grade, and 3rd grade, and 4th grade...... Self-esteem is so important and I fear your son getting a negative-self image from being sent to the office etc.

I agree with everyone's posts - I think we are just SO happy to see that yes, he can be successful in a class for a day and that it isn't all in our heads - we have a large number of people out side of school that get to see him for who he really is and make comments about what a cool kid he is, and to hear for 2 weeks straight just how much of a "pain" he has been and then to finally have someone who sees him for who he is in the same setting- it's just nice validation! We came to the conclusion that we are going to ask for a change of class to whomever they hire next week and go from there because it is very obvious to us that this teacher is stuck on no matter what - he will conformn to her ideas and her way of looking at things.

I have nooooo idea why the secretary, as efficient as she might be, would feel in any way in a position to make a comment about how to educate such a clearly exceptional child, or really any child.
I mean, does she also have teaching credentials? How odd.
Also, sounds like they are discussing him within earshot or even directly with the secretary, which again doesn't make a lot of sense to me...(?) Maybe it was just based on things you were speaking about at the time.

I am glad to hear at least one reasonable/reasoning teacher may come on the scene.

Hey Chris1234 - I was just so elated he had an awesome day that i didn't make a comment to the secretary after what she said...she knows what is going on because the teacher calls the front office to have guidance come down when he says he won't do his work....so she knows what is going on with him...so does everyone else in the school so it seems...there is one mom at Open House whose daughter has become best buds with my little guy...she came up to me at Open House last night and said that her daughter really likes my son and talks about how much she likes working with him and said that the teacher shared some info about my DS6 with her because she volunteered in the room last week. She said I understand about "special needs" children because my son is extremely autistic. I was VERY miffed that the teacher shared anything with this mom concerning my son and as an ex-teacher completely understand the privacy rule concerning sharing info with other people when it comes to students.
This school has a reputation as a very parent unfriendly school and the principal has a pretty rough reputation. Our advocate we hired said that she doesn't like dealing with this particular school and has never had a positive experience with any of the guidance team. I used to teach in the same county and a lot of teachers complain about the principal. He likes things done his way and is very much a by the books, not willing to stray off the straight and narrow guy. It is our neighborhood school and DS6 really wanted to try going there so I tried to not pay attention to all the gossip. Now I am quickly seeing what everyone warned us about. We will give it until Labor Day and see if this other teacher gets hired and then we are looking at the original Charter public school we first looked into that were willing to accelerate him the only downside is that it was a good 45 minute drive in traffic. I am just so thrilled that he finally got a chance to succeed and shine and our family really needed a positive note after so many negative days in a row :-)

Oh Belle - It is a pleasure when one finally hits a teacher who 'gets' one's child. How could anyone expect a 6 year old to sit quietly all day every day and never get to learn at their readiness level. I'm glad you have an advocate - sounds like you need a lawyer! (Not that I'm recommending that - you have too many other important things to concentrate on,) but do document what you are hearing. It is so unprofessional it makes me sick. I wish that there was a 'gifted child legal defense fund' that flew in high priced legal specialist when ever and where ever gifted children are being abused.

I remember so clearly the week before 3rd grade, when DS was having a tantrum in public, when DH looked at me and said:'You know I think that the school is correct, he does need that medication.'

I didn't exactly agree, but was feeling that perhaps 'they' were right after all. I suggested that DH call our Pediatrician and get some advice. DH thought that maybe we should start the medication before school to make sure DS would get off on the right foot. Pediatrician said no, we needed a baseline. Well that year was the best ever. Teacher was an angel, and we heard only one peep in April about his behavior. I feel very lucky that our Pediatrician gave us the advice that he did, or we would have attributed DS's 'great turnaround' to the medicine. Imagine!

I am so so so glad that you all have each other here. I didn't have anyone or anything at that time. Just mysteries and misdiagnosises. It still makes me want to cry thinking about it.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

That's a great story Grinity! Yay for your pediatrician!

Belle - I know what you mean about the few positives making a huge difference. I think in addition to making notes on the negative/unfounded comments and shoddy attention to student privacy, which I think could be important later, you probably ought to jot down the positives, from the subtitute teacher, or wherever they come from to keep good perspective.
I would even go so far as posting a nicer comment or two on your ds' wall or the fridge to see every day, while you are sorting things out!
Very best of luck.

Maybe a carpool option with some other families at the charter school (if you go for it) could make the drive much more fun, and better for all the kids.