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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 9
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 9 |
Thank you to everyone who gave me encouragement and advice to my last post. My DD is now almost 6 months old (on the 15)and I feel like I'm going out of my mind.
Here's what happens:
7:00am wake up she says "I love you" (her first word(s)) I turn on the classic winnie the pooh dvd (if I try and turn on anything else she freaks out and starts to throw a HUGE fit, no tears, but as angry as can be, face turns red, she stomps in her bouncy baby Einstein chair) she then continues to watch the whole dvd, saying I love you to pooh eversooften and chewing on her paci.
8:30am nurses then gets on the floor for tummy time
8:45am won't lay on the floor anymore and insists on cooking every morning.
NOTE: she knows exactly what she wants to do, when she wants to do it. She will talk to whatever it is in a very sweet, nice voice until she gets it. Talking to the kitchen means she wants to cook, talking to the door means she wants outside, talking to the tv means she wants pooh bear on etc.
9:30am morning nap
12:00pm wakes up says "I love you" then talks to the tv.... on goes winnie the pooh. (I have tried to get her to watch new things and it won't work.)
12:30pm she's ready to take on the world. Here's where the trouble begins.
1) she won't be held, she wants to "feel" like she's standing by herself, walking by herself, sitting up by herself. She will get angry and push my hand away. She hates tummy time, because she can't do much once she rolls from her back to her tummy, she gets really frustrated. She can only scoot backwards or turn around like a clock.
2) she won't let anyone hold her, watch her, take care of her but me.
3) She rarely cries, and mostly gets angry. She only cries if I try to cook without her, then she acts like I broke her heart.
4) She isn't happy with the tons of toys she has...only new toys will hold interest. I have tried alternating her things so they seem new after a few weeks..doesn't work.
5) She only wants to do "big girl" things, write/draw, drink from a glass, eat food etc. We went to the zoo and she was fine until she realized that she can't go play with the animals!!
6) I know books are important, and she really loves them, but she gets frustrated because she can't pick the stuff up off the page. She wants to pick up the pictures...I don't know if that makes sense, guess you would have to see it. She has honed her fine motor muscles and wants every little thing, a character towel can't even go unnoticed because it frustrates her she can't get the picture off of it. So, bath time with plain colored towels.
3:30pm Afternoon nap.
5:30pm Wakes up, nurses, says "I love you" and watches Pooh.
5:45pm Helps me make dinner.
6:30pm tummy time while I eat.
7:30pm Nurses then the trouble starts again. Can't make her happy.
8:45pm Bedtime.
start all over the next day. Of course every day I try new things to entertain her, keep her mind active...it's tough when she can't write, draw, or voice her opinions in actual sentences.
Frustration and anger are in every part of the day...I'm really worried about this. I am doing my best and giving every minute of my time...but I just feel like there's more to do to help her but I don't know what it is. Sometimes I feel like a bad parent, but I'm doing everything I can to meet her needs. I'm a stay at home mom, I work at home only when she's asleep, I take her anywhere she starts talking to.... I am doing all the pre-school learning materials, which she enjoys very, very much. But after that, she just get's so, so bored. I am just plain out of ideas. I feel like I'm trying to raise a kindergartner in a 6 month old's body. Very, very frustrating for me and her.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,897
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,897 |
Well, at least you know she loves you  You might try contacting the davidson institute - I know they work with 6 and up (I think that's the age) but *surely* they will have some resources for the parents of these kids before they hit 6 - your child sounds amazing, but extremely tiring. Sounds like you need some time off - do you have a partner who can swing in and give you some time off on a regular basis? A couple hour block, I should think, would help you recharge. Also, I would think this will be extremely important for your partner to see the kiddo in action. We had two other child containment/pacification devices I don't see listed: bouncy sling which hangs from a door, our kids would enjoy this for long periods, sometimes even falling asleep right there. An automated swing - the constant motion was extremely soothing. Music, music, music. Soft books with little parts you can in fact separate from the page, we had one called 'my quiet book', the parts are still tied on with tethers but might satisfy your little one a bit better. good luck, hang in there - keep writing, it might help too 
Last edited by chris1234; 06/04/09 03:24 PM.
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 155
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 155 |
Repeat after me: High maintenance, high reward.
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,299
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,299 |
It sounds like you are a responsive parent which is what a gifted child needs. I look back at photos of my daughters as babies & toddlers and remember the exhaustion. Hang in there! http://sixtysecondparent.com/CustomContentRetrieve.aspx?ID=133368Gifted children often can exhaust and overwhelm a new mother and father. Gifted infants often sleep less than other babies and require extra stimulation when they are awake. It is helpful to have extended family in the home, grandparents who live nearby, a close community of friends or relatives, or a teenager in the neighborhood who can spend some time with the child so that the primary caretakers can get some rest to do other things. I remember that day when my son was 3, and I was driving home from his daycare (yes, daycare), and he asked me "What is the biggest number and what is the smallest number?" I told him the numbers just go on and on, and we call it infinity and negative infinity. I had already explained the number line. I was quite certain that the other moms were not explaining infinity on the way home. I think that's when it hit me that this kid was really extraordinary, and suddenly I realized that all of his neediness as a baby wasn't insecurity (that's what the baby books said), it was because I was his conduit to information. Even as a baby he literally expected me to carry him around and show him everything. Throughout his babyhood, I was a dependable transportation and information device. -- Debbie
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 73
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 73 |
suddenly I realized that all of his neediness as a baby wasn't insecurity (that's what the baby books said), it was because I was his conduit to information. Even as a baby he literally expected me to carry him around and show him everything. Throughout his babyhood, I was a dependable transportation and information device. -- Debbie I so wished someone had told me that when my son (11) was an infant! Fortunately/unfortunately my son didn't always know exactly what he wanted and didn't find such innovative ways of communicating so early. I had to just accept the fact that he didn't always get what he wanted from me and sometimes I had to put him down screaming. (I knew it was safer for both of us than continuing to carry him around screaming.  ) I also took lots of walks outside with the stroller or the backpack, which was a more relaxing activity for me than walking around inside, and the noise level was easier for me to handle. 
Benny
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,032
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,032 |
Well, at least it sounds like this type of frustration will be alleviated as she gets more mobility and can do the things she wants to do but can't do now. That doesn't help you get through it now, but it's something to look forward to! I second the swing idea--but my kiddos were not like yours at that age, so it's hard to say how that might work out. How about a PowerTouch? I don't think they make them anymore (Fisher Price) but you can surely still get them on eBay. It's like the LeapPad (precursor to the Leapsters and stuff, can't get those anymore either, LOL) but it doesn't require being able to use the pen. PowerTouch works by finger-touch, and the only problem you will have on that is that if you drag your hand across it as a baby probably will, it can give you confusing output. You put a cartridge in, and the corresponding book, and then it automatically knows what page you are on (unlike LeapPad which you have to press a circle to tell it the new page) and everything you touch does something. It says words, reads the sentences aloud, plays music and sounds, plays games, and lots of things. My DS6 was very into his PowerTouch as a baby--I think it was his 1st birthday when he got it. If she liked it, your DD might learn some independence from it, and you could rest or get something else done for a while!
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,897
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,897 |
PowerTouch sounds interesting!
I'm reminded me of a simpler game from the leapfrog brand, it's just a plastic 10x13 or so green game with buttons that are all letters. you can set it on music so that each letter pressed gives a short song response, about 7 seconds.
As the child gets older other options like letter id, letter sounds, simple spelling are just another setting on the toy. I would recommend the music for now...but who knows?
It's called 'Leap's Phonics Pond' from leap frog. They have other cool gadgets that are typically for the 3+ crowd but you might find other simple to use ones which could help keep your baby stimulated. Ebay might be the first stop for that one.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,840
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,840 |
Heheh.
Mr W was and is the same way. He wants someone around all the time to interact with.
Here is how his day went at 6 mos.
4 AM: Wake up and play with a toy in the crib. Get bored. Start to scream at the top of your lungs. Mom or dad arrives, attempts to feed him. He wants to play with his toys. Plays with toys until 5:30. Wants bottle. Goes back to sleep.
7:30 AM: Wake up and immediately cry for help. Another bottle. Wants TV on. Sits by self watching TV for an hour or wants books read to him for an hour. Babysitter arrives. Coos all over her. Points to front door indicating desire to go outside. Outside in stroller for two hours.
11:30 - Short 20 min nap. (That's it) Plays with toys for an hour. Time to go outside again, this time to stroll around the mall for two hours. Smiles at everyone he meets.
2:30 pm - Visit chicken place where he eats his favorite chicken and sips juice from his own cup.
5:30pm Dad and mom arrive home. Dad cooks dinner. If he is not on the counter in the boppy seat and gets to watch he goes nuts.
6:30 pm He goes into harness for 1-2 hour walk around the neighborhood. Smiles at everyone he meets.
8:30 pm - Gets last bottle, whines and cries for an hour when put in the crib.
11:30 pm - Wakes up again.
--
It will never end and you just have to reach some sort of accommodation to where you can stay sane.
At 16 months, he is still exhausting to be around, but after I had a long talk with him at 12 months, he gives us some time to ourselves, if we promise him he'll get to do something. He still throws his fits, but they are less and less.
Either DW or I spend 1-2 hours a day ( in two sessions) with him doing directed activity - like Starfall or music and his babysitter does the same thing. We usually stop because one of us is bored, not because he has lost concentration. This has given him the "input" he seems to crave and has smoothed his moods.
His trackball mouse arrived today and this will hopefully make him more independent and give DW and I a few more minutes to decompress.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,840
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,840 |
Some things He loved from very early:
Legos ( 5 mos on )
Puzzles ( 3 mos on )
Books - Dr Suess makes him laugh. Picture books.
Kiddie Piano ( loved it from 5 mos on )
Sit-in activity centers ( 2 mos on )
Shape sorters ( all kinds - from 3 mos on )
Music - XM or Ipod.
Player Pianos ( at the mall )
Long Walks in Baby Bjorn
Long Movies ( ie Wizard of Oz, Cars )
Our babysitter has a routine of a walk in the AM, mall or kid show around lunch, and then a park in the afternoon.
The infant stage is not forever -
On the weekends, the rule DW and I have is no more than 6 hours alone with Mr W. We try to follow Mrs E's routine with him - working him into our errands. Mr W usually pushes the cart at the store and can help us in the veggie section and some other stores now. He can unload the dishwasher and can take out the trash with some help. We keep a selection of his musical selections on an ipod for the car.
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 182
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 182 |
As a suggestion: We used baby sign language for both of our gifted boys. They both learned it fast. It was stimulating and certainly eased communication. Both of our boys were early talkers and often used the signs in addition to using the words.
Just an idea that may help as both an activity for her and an asset for you too. They have videos, books, games, classes, etc. to help you both learn it.
There are a number of different programs on the market but we used babysigns.com.
Mom to DYS-DS6 & DS3
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