Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Won't get easy work done

My daughter is wrapping up kindergarten. She is has an October birthday, and with the September cut off is one of the oldest in her class. The first week of school her teacher at least clued in that she was advanced and gave her the first grade math book. She also eventually agreed that the letterbooks, where the kids learn the letter sounds and beginning reading, were below her and let her read books of her own choosing and do the accelerated reader tests on those.

In terms of level, she is at at least third grade level in reading and likes multiplication, addition and multiplication of fractions, etc. She can write well (her handwriting isn't perfect).

The problem is, she won't do work unless she wants to do it. She has an incredible attention span, so if she is thinking about something, she will not stop to do an easy worksheet in the classroom. She struggles with open-ended writing assignments (they are supposed to write stories in their journals) because she wants to write a complete story (when she tells a story, it takes quite some time since she includes lots of detail).

We have been trying to convince the school, a small private school, to let her skip a grade. They think that she shouldn't because she can't get the work done in the classroom. They acknowledge that she knows all of the material--when she tried out first grade for a week, the teacher got frustrated that when she introduced some simple multiplication ideas, my daughter wanted to talk about some other things about multiplication, and the teacher didn't want her to confuse the class...).

Any advice on how to teach my daughter to play the game, to get the easy work done so she can get on with stuff that is of interest or to just write what she has to to get credit? Horrible lessons, but it is a skill that we all must learn in some form or another.... I just don't think she is going to get anything out of first grade next year except more boredom.

I find that quiet disheartening that her teacher discouraged her from asking those questions in class. I think that would have been far better dealt with by asking her to save her questions and then have the teacher talk to her privately over lunch or recess.

All I can say is if you find an answer please share! I am still unable to force myself to do things that are boring, repetitive or stupid, especially when it comes to school work. At work I've tried to explain this to bosses and ask them to give me new and challenging things to do (which for some reason seems to really frustrate people when you offer to do things above and beyond your job description).

I think you're only hope is talking to her about the things she's skipping over and trying to explain why they are important and what they will lead too (open ended stories ... help the reader come up with their own story from what you made?)

Maybe you should be discussing moving to an even higher grade?

My oldest DD won't do the easy work for anything...

Your daughter sounds like my DS5. I'm not sure if I'm excited or scared for K starting in August!

age 6 or 7 is just too young to learn to play the game. You could probably medicate her with ADHD medications and get her closer to compliance but I dont reccomend it. What is wrong with a kid expecting to learn at school? Perhaps a different school or homeschooling or a double skip until her maturity and focus catches up to her intellectual ability?

Do it for her.

That's what I did with my DS7 last year. I faked his handwriting and made a deal with him: I do this for you, you'll do stuff at your level for 60-90 minutes a week with me. He kind of won on both counts there.

I'm a rebel here. I don't believe in forcing a child to do pointless work. Too-easy homework assignments teach nothing and have negative value as far as I'm concerned. When teachers or others argue that "she needs to learn how to do unpleasant tasks" I remind them that putting your laundry in the hamper or cleaning the kitchen are unpleasant tasks that have useful results. What do you gain by writing out the answers to 4+6 when you can do 1/2 * 5/9 ? Answer: nothing. This practice squashes love of learning and breeds resentment besides. The problem is that you might not get anywhere with the teachers if they already think she needs to do something so pointless.

So back to doing the work for her.

Maybe if she (really you) starts doing all the silly assignments and handing them in, the school will decide that "she's" making an effort and will let her skip a grade.

Rant off.

Val

Your poor daughter! Can you consider homeschooling her for awhile? Mine were at Montessori until the end of grade 2 and SK, respectively. They were often bored, even in that environment. What pushed me to homeschool was watching my older stepson, also bright-to-gifted (but untested) slip through the cracks in school to the point where he stopped attending and earned about 1 credit per semester in highschool (we didn't have custody and weren't informed of these things as they happened). He just tuned out entirely and wasn't prepared to "play the game".

Not trying to scare you, but if her innate love of learning is squashed already in K, and she's running into conflicts with the system already, you may end up with an even bigger problem on your hands some day.

It's going to be at least 3 years before they start teaching the math she already knows, and by then she'll be further ahead still. It sounds like your present school is not very clued-in to gifted issues.

Wish there was an easy answer...

Sometimes rather I made deals with my son like "If you wash the dishes, then I'll ask you the math problems while you're doing that and write the answers on the page for you." It's the same kind of deal Val has in that he didn't have NO work, just different work (and believe it or not washing the dishes was often his choice). This is only temporary though and doesn't do anything about the in-class work.
Any way of finding a school system that allows individuals to move at their own pace? They are not fulfilling their requirement to provide education for your daughter right now. I wish I had answers!

Here's an interesting article that might help:
http://www.educationaloptions.com/resources/resources_rufs_tips.php

My hunch is that if your DD were a boy, the environment would have more slack for her 'being the way that she is' but since many many girls are compliant, she is getting even more grief for her 'rebel' stance.

This is so, so true!

This is why my brother (who is now a "rocket scientist"--aerospace engineering for the past 25 years) had to repeat calculus in high school. He didn't show his work on the problems (because he did them in his head and didn't have any work to show), and even though he always had the answers right, failed the class anyway. He refused to dumb it down to show work that he didn't need to do to get the answers, and failed. The teacher knew perfectly well that he knew more than the teacher did, and made him his assistant the next year when he had to take the class again--as long as he would show his work on the problems!

I struggle with the same thing with my DS6, hard as it is to get him to sit down for the two minutes required to run through the busy-work papers and show what he knows. He'd rather be working on his 4th grade math book instead, but we do the junk to get to the good stuff. Good luck with yours!