Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Ruf's latest blog - boys and troubles in school

I dunno; couldn't the girls' quiet reaction to a pace that's too slow or too fast constitute a crisis as well? Girls get rewarded for staying quiet and not making waves. By rewarded, I mean that they don't get into trouble, but they also don't get extra attention because no one knows they need it!

I'm not sure I like the "do what you're told and things will work out" message that's implicit there. It may carry through into their later ability to deal effectively with an adverse situation.

All I can say is that I typically won't get what I want or need unless I make noise. If I stay quiet, no one even knows anything is wrong.

Just a thought...

Val

I agree, Val. I was actually kind of relieved when DS7 acted out in school. I had worried that he would be a teacher-pleaser to the Nth degree, since that's really more his personality. That he acted out when he was miserable seemed a more healthy response to me. At least I knew something was wrong. I worry about the quietly miserable kids, be they male or female.

I have two boys, so I definitely worry about their future school careers. But I'm also a feminist, and I think girls have it pretty rough, too.

I could go on and on, but I won't...

Another big contributing factor around here is that, due to budget cuts, many schools in our district now offer PE only once a week and have done with away with many other specials like music and art.
How can any kid, especially a boy, be expected to sit still for 8 hours with out an energy or creative outlet?

Oh, I totally agree. I was one of those girls. I had a horrible elementary school experience and paid for it for years. I thought something was wrong with me. My daughter could easily be one of these kids too. It'll be interesting over the next year with her - she has been in preschool this year but will be homeschooling next year.

I've seen Ruf write more on boys than girls. Maybe because she had 3 sons.

How do you guys put in those originally posted by: boxes?

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I'll admit to feeling a little frustrated when I see lots of stories about how we're shortchanging boys, with no emphasis on what happens to girls. Dr. Ruf's note about sitting the girls in the back of the classroom bothered me. We've been shortchanging girls... you know, forever. But they're quiet so no one seems to notice.

Val

I think we should pay attention to both issues!

I'll throw in with: I was a girl who acted out like the boys, so I was REALLY the red-headed stepchild of elementary school!



Neato

Oh wait, I still AM a girl............ you know what I mean!!!

When I was 10 or so, I told my mother that I wasn't going to grow up. Twenty-odd years later, she said to me, "You really meant it!" (She still says that.)

Val