Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Flylady, Perfectionism, and Processing Speed

Dear Friends,

For many years we have looked at our homes and felt sadness. That sadness is a symptom just like our messy home. I want to help you discover the disease that is plaguing your every waking moment.

That disease is perfectionism. We were infected at a very young age when we were told these simple words, "If you can't do it right then don't do it at all", and we believed them. As little children we tried so hard to please them; most of the time we were not given enough information. If we were in a family with folks who were born organized we saw all the loving strokes they received for keeping their rooms clean. Our room looked like a bomb exploded.

We were told over and over to go clean our rooms. We would walk in there and not know where to start. That is when we would pull everything out of our closets on top of all the dirty clothes and clutter that was already piled in the floor.

That precious little perfectionist child would look in that empty closet and be so proud. Only to have her little bubble burst when her mother walked into the room screaming, "I told you to clean up your room; now look at the mess you have made! Can't you do anything right!"

Our brains are creative, we may not have been born organized but we are not stupid! We can learn how to be organized. We just learn in a little different way. That is the issue with perfectionist and born organized people. The Born Organized people are perfectionist too and they believe that there is only one way to do something and that their way is the right way.

Our brains don't think in straight logical paths, we are all over the place. Our minds are processing so fast and every part of our body wants to be involved. Our mouth goes nonstop too. We jump from one task to another never to quite finish anything. Before the day is over you can see our path through the house. When you compare how that little child cleaned and how we clean today we are just the same. At our age we know there has to be another way to live. We have seen beautiful clean houses and that perfectionist in us wants that. Then she says those old stinkin' thinkin' words to herself. "If you can't do it right then don't do it at all!" We give up before we ever start! We saw how our family cleaned in the past. It took more time than we thought we had.

Well guess what? You don't have to clean like your mother did and you can still have a beautiful clean place to bless yourself and your family. It begins when you declutter the Born Organized way of cleaning and use your talents of creativity to help you in your quest for that beautiful clean.

We can bottle the energy we have and allow our creative force to be with us and not against us. Here is how you do it. Set your timer so you will not get bored. Jump from one job to another with a plan. Put on some fun music to keep you energized. Plan games with yourself; 27 Fling Boogie or a Hot Spot Fire Drill. Put on your lace up shoes and get dressed every day so that is out of the way. Just like we were told when we were little, "After your homework is done you can go out and play!"
If we can make keeping your home a beautiful clean, a fun game then you are going to do it. We may not have been born with that organizing gene but we have something much better; creativity and passion!

Your little child is going to love learning a new way to play and clean at the same time. This is what FLYing is all about!

FlyLady

I'm also not sure if my kids are extra naughty today or I'm extra crabby!

I am so proud of myself. LOL DH just doesn't get it. He is able to plan, execute and follow through. Not good for my ego but hey I am working on it and he doesn't mind that I can't keep things spotless.

I no longer read her e-mails, but I still use what I learned years ago.

Hi LMom!
I don't read more than 10% of the emails - there are a lot of them, and sometimes my house is covered with hotspots, and sometimes I make my bed, and then DS12 gets back in it - I could go on and on, but I've found that 'even housework done imprefectly blesses me and my family' - it's my attitude that's changed -also about 157 pounds of clutter that I was able to 'release' into the world!

I used to go on these 'I'm really going to pick up aftermyself' kicks for a few days, and I always seemed to be spending ALL my time putting stuff away. Then I learned that 'You Can't Organize Clutter' and suddenly everything changed for the better.

Love and More Love,
Grinity