Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Hothousing -- random thoughts

I don't know if I'd consider what I'm assuming many parents do with young children hothousing. You can't buy a toy nowadays that doesn't have some educational aspect to it, it seems everything has letters, numbers, colors, and/or shapes on it or in it or under it or whatever. I bought some of these toys for DS--some he enjoyed, some he didn't. Some he wore out and some never saw the light of day after they were opened and investigated.

If he had an interest in one over another, we went with it. If questions were asked, we answered. Sometimes we showed him something new just because it was there or we were expanding on whatever the toy could do alone (because we were tired of the same old thing for the millionth time). Most times he came up with questions on his own. We never had the plan to create some little genius, but rather to nurture a curiosity about the world he was a part of. I hate the assumption that I've worked with my child simply because I enjoy(ed) spending time doing things that I do with just about everyone else - talking, listening, interacting, etc.

One thing I personally don't do is do anything extra at home - structured, that is. DS does his homework and that's it. He has lots of unstructured play time and in the course of that, a lot of learning still takes place. We've looked up the lifecycle of a butterfly when he found a caterpillar and wanted to know if it really was like The Very Hungry Caterpillar and things like that. One of the main reasons I don't do anything structured is that then he'd be that much further ahead and I'm not sure that the schools he'd be going to could/would accomodate him. He's already skipping one grade and all evidence is pointing to it being a success. I'm looking forward to him having to struggle just a bit to learn how to work at something. I want him to have the self-satisfaction of having worked hard to get whatever grade he gets. I'm afraid if I gave him anything extra at home, I'm going to negate the grade skip, kwim? I'm happy to help him if he needs help with assigned work, but I don't require him to do anything in excess of what the school assigns him.

Just my thoughts.

Yes! That's it exactly!

Inky,

You really summed up the elements and a great way of putting it: "work divorced from play and love". I now have to check out Elkind's book.

Okay, that's scary. Really scary.

Call me sheltered: I never went to mom's groups. If this is what moms say they do, I'm beginning to understand the hothousing-thing here a bit more.

[segue]

My DD4 is beginning to make the jump to chapter books. We just finished 20 pages of Nate the Great, during which time I kept saying "Okay, last page" and she would respond "No, I want to read one more!"

And I just don't get how she figures out some words. She just seems to be able to do it without instruction from me, so now I'm getting a tiny idea of the amazement you folks with completely self-taught readers feel.

I'm thinking this is not hothousing.

[/segue]

Flashcard-driven meals. Wow.

Val

hmmmm... instead of a general catch-all term like 'hothousing', maybe we need to call it 'pavlovian training' when it's done for the parents benefit and 'enhanced educational opportunities' when it's done for the childs benefit.

eta:flashcards for food makes me nauseous.

I completely agree. There are times I wonder if I got us into this mess. She loved books. But I remember pointing out alphabet letters in a sesame street ABC book when she was so little. We did so many crafts that probably built up the fine moter skills. Every time I used a word I realized she couldn't understand or I read one - I would say the word again and a simply word like say automatic, works by itself, automatic, works by itself. I didn't know I did it until she was older and stopped me during a car ride with "why do you repete yourself so much".

All of which to say, is looking back I wonder if I was hothousing with 100 trips to the zoo,, asking her to pick which color plate, etc.

But I never sat down and thought I'm teaching you this today. Or get over here and let's learn this. I didn't know anything about kids. I did what interested me - then I followed her lead. I just have to agree - I think hothousing has some to do with intent. Are your activities enriching or are you just focused on enriching and teaching your kids all the time.

I also agree it changes as they get older - because if you are in a setting where they aren't challenged and they come home and want to write a book - what do you do - say no. Although I did ssay that once about long divison when I started taking the no, nope, not going to help you make school even worse. But I've gotten over that :-)

Honestly, I think that is pretty insulting to Pavlov, who, as far as I recall, simply played a metronome at mealtime. The flashcarding woman isn't doing anything Pavlovian unless she wants her kid to salivate when he or she sees flashcards.

But, yeah, that is what I really picture when I think of hothousing. A parent withholding something essential (be it food or love or attention or praise/approval) unless a child learns something (usually something the child is not really ready to learn).

Love this!

She got this crazy idea from a mutual friend who has an autistic daughter. The therapist uses ABA techniques to get the little girl to respond. When she speaks, she gets special treats: food, bubbles, tickles whatever. So she was doing her own training at home with her kid. We stopped being friends after that. It was too weird to get grilled every time DS would do something hew and she wanted to know how I made him do it.

Now... that was a few years ago. I've heard now that she has moved the poor kid 3x in Kindergarten because she can't find a teacher that treats her with proper respect.

Our school board actually posts detailed curriculum maps on their website. So we have parents at our school that love teach their child the next years curric over the summer, so their kids can score high on the beginning of the year evaluation. Thease are the same parents that you will find complaing that their children are bored and are upset when their children do not place in the gifted program.