Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Boy Scouts--Building Confidence and Self Esteem?

My DD7 is a Brownie. She LOVES it. Loves everything about it. She has read the Try-It book from cover to cover LOL! Although she finds the new Journeys program a little annoying because the book directions are not very clear and a bit internally inconsistent.

I find that I have to arrive RIGHT as the meetings and events start though because otherwise it tends to be too chaotic and overwhelming for her.

She is going to a Girl Scout sleep away camp this summer (her first) and she is counting the days.

Great thread! I have to show this to DH. He is really hesitant to sign ds up for scouts, for one thing he doesn't think he has the time in his own schedule, and it would be a stretch.
Can someone give a realistic estimate of how much time is usually needed per month to participate at an ok level (age 8 boy).

I agree completely with Austin: Lori, from the things you have written, your ds would just knock'em dead during stories around the campfire!!

DS7 was a first-time scout this year. It wasn't terribly time-consuming. There were den meetings twice a month and pack meetings once a month, usually on an off week for the den meetings. Then there were some fun weekend-type events that were optional like pro ball games or hockey, winter fun days and that sort of thing. Completing the achievements and arrowheads was pretty low-stress--a couple of hours a month at most whenever you have the time, totally at your convenience, and we did more with it than a lot of the kids. BTW, I usually did those things with DS at home, while DH took him to the meetings. That kept it from being too time-consuming for either of us.

Certainly we could have done a lot more in terms of achievements, but it seemed to be enough for DS7.

It's one of those things that can take as little or as much time as you want to take.

We have been SO wanting our DS6 to start scouting next year but the same story goes with us Lori - our DS6 has SPD and Dyspraxia and we are already seeing the issues it causes in group outings with our homeschool groups. He is a perfectionist to the nth degree and gets really upset at himself if he doesn't do something correctly the first time. We had a dad come to our door 3 days ago to sell something for scouts and we asked him some info - after he left, all I could think about was, "oh well, so much for our idea about scouts". He said in his troop the kids were required to sit still through an hour meeting once a week and show respect by sitting quietly and not disrupting anyone. That they did a lot of sports activities and relays. My little guy can not physically sit still for an hour without having some kind of sensory activitiy going on every once in awhile. He can never keep up with the other kids physically and he beats himself up emotionally because of it. When he is around a group of more than 10 kids, he gets overwhelmed sensory wise and then will have sporadic meltdowns - causing a lovely issue with friendships. We REALLY want him to do some kind of team something to help teach him how to work together with others. Wonder if we have any chance of starting a special needs scout troop :-)

Wow, why are they just sitting there for an hour? Sounds odd for an org. geared towards kids, especially boys. I don't think my ds could do that, he would end up pestering people...you should ask around some more, that is a good question for us too.
Kriston, thanks for the info and idea for splitting things up!

Scouting totally depends on the leader. Go for it Belle!

Thanks everyone! I know I have a problem with scenario-ing. My son tells me this is what I am most gifted in and he also tells me that I am being a helicopter mom, but at least he says I'm not as bad as his sister who is a Blackhawk. His sister tells him that she just knows more about the kinds of trouble he could get into if he is not careful. She was my wild child, way too social in my opinion, smart but not interested in academics at all once she started middle school and became a cheerleader. I was not a helicopter mom with my daughter and I probably should have been.

I think my son is at an age now where I need to step back and let him figure out how to work around his physical weaknesses but also give him a chance to show his strengths in front of other boys. He crossed over with only two other boys his age out of the 20 something that he started with in Tiger Cubs. He does have two friends in scouts that are four years older and one of them, the one who I think is most like my son (gifted, does musical theater, sense of humor) says he thinks my son will not like it.

I am worried that, at least with this group of kids, it might be more of a "manly man" competition. I am a little worried that my husband, a former first sergeant, might try to push him to do more than he can do and he will end up being embarrassed in front of the other boys and his dad. My husband thinks I should stay home if they go on a camping trip. I was thinking I could stay in our travel trailer somewhere nearby, but out of sight.

I have noticed that boys and men (even 50 something year old men) are still very competitive physically. There is another 50 something year old dad who is a scout leader, also former military, but now working as an engineer. It looked like this guy and my husband were competing with each other when the boys were working on a fitness badge. So I am wondering if this physical competition thing is something that my son will have to deal with even as he gets older. If so, maybe he just needs to find a way to deal with it now.

If he has a chance to do what he is good at, making up jokes and humorous stories and doing imitations of people, then I think the other kids will like him and maybe it will be okay. I do think he needs to try it.

Thank again, everyone.

Here is another scouting story. I have so many...

We took a late fall trip up into a Wilderness Area. The scoutmaster dropped about 40 of us off with two college kids who were former Eagle Scouts. The objective was to hike over a ridge and then down into a lake where we would be picked up in two days on Sunday.

We made camp and had fun playing games and cooking and then sat around telling ghost stories.

At midnight, one of the men had a premonition something was wrong at home, so two of us walked out with him so he could call home. sure enough, his child had swallowed poison and he had to leave, so we hiked back by ourselves in the dark.

The next morning, we hiked over the ridge to the lake, which was frozen over. We played "ice hockey" on the lake for hours, then the scoutmaster showed up, and wanted to take our picture.

Now, we had played on this lake ALL DAY, so when he asked us to stand on the ice for a "group" picture, we complied without thinking.

Just as we gathered together and the scoutmaster said, "Say Cheese!" and clicked the button, great cracks of ice appeared in the ice and a loud series of booms filled the air!!!

We all ran screaming from the ice!! And then laughed really hard on the shore!!

And yes, the picture showed us running, faces in terror, towards the camera!!

I strongly agree. If he gets the opportunity and he decides it isn't for him - he is a success in having tried something new. If he gets to try it, but only over mom's reservations while she's lurking nearby in the camper - it sends the message you really don't have confidence that he can try new things. That message from mom is a far more damaging one than any amount of teasing (if it were to actually occur which is still nothing more than a scenario).

Lori, step away from the helicopter and give me the keys!
I think your husband is right, stay home when they go camping. Do not stay in a camper close by, even if out of sight. Part of scouting is to work as a team. If your boy young man needs help he needs to learn how to ask it of his team mates, and the others need to learn how to give it. I am sure there will be times your son is asking for help, other times he will be asked to give help. Scouting is a great way for him to start spreading those wings you gave him.