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    Joined: Mar 2008
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    Oh boy, am I so glad that I read this post and to know that I am not alone with the DS fanatic children. I was also very determined to keep the whole video game stuff out of the house and boy I won out until about 2 months ago....my husband had a DS that he used at work to help destress him and DS6 started to watch him play and then pretty much stole the DS from my hubby....so he got his own DS for his birthday. What is it with him wanting to go from start to finish on all of his games???? He completed Phineas and Ferb from start to finish in like a week. With his perfectionist streak, I will hear him throwing a fit when he messes up and then he will actually work forever completing a difficult level, only to wipe it out and start again! We have also begun to limit his time on the DS and i love the whole timer thing!

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    My DS6 was a little obsessive with computer games. (we don't have a DS or Wii) He'd bargain for computer time and he usually got what he wanted. It took me a while to realize that his computer time had gotten significantly longer.

    He has just started taking computer programming for the purpose of eventually being able to write his own game. Since this has started, his addiction to the games themselves seems to have gone away. He now barters for programming time and seems fascinated with the whole process.


    Shari
    Mom to DS 10, DS 11, DS 13
    Ability doesn't make us, Choices do!
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    I feel like I have the same issues with games at our house. I asked my sons' doc about game addiction and he says "addiction is when it interferes with daily life to the point where other areas are neglected". I've used timers, used them as priviledges, blocked out certain days of the week.... and games seemed to preoccupy my boys' thoughts where they are trying to justify or bargain their way to use it.

    My opportunity came last month when our ol' tele finally broke laugh. Because I don't see television as a necessity I took my time replacing it.... about a month. The first two weeks was torturous for them and then.... they finally coped without it. Soon they picked up books and learned other ways to entertain themselves. I also didn't get the constant bargaining and petty arguments about games. We have a new tele now, and I've just put away the systems until summer.

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    My son has taken to working on programming too. He uses Alice from alice.org. That has been a great find and distraction for DS as well.

    Last edited by kimck; 03/31/09 05:57 PM.
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    DS5 could completely become addicted to video games if I let him. He has a racecar game on the PC that he loves but I limited him to 2 15 minute periods per day AND I require that he do certain things first like pick up toys, get dressed, etc. (whatever I need him to do for me - kind of like the points system but not as formalized). I've managed to replace the racecar game with Crayon Physics, Fantastic Contraptions and Online Rider for now. I feel like the educational value of those is much higher than the racecar game which I find mind-numbing.

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    Now programming can be addictive.

    A friend got a computer when I was 13 and could not get it to work. I read the manual and got it up and running. He lost interest and I bought it from him.

    It was summer. I would stay up all night long writing software, falling asleep when I could not keep my eyes open.

    I wrote some games and my friends and family became addicted to them, which was fine, because while they played, I would sleep from dawn until after lunch. Then get up, go read or hang out at the pool, then come home and dusk and get started.

    I bought a modem and a funky tape drive and some more memory and spent a lot of time doing what later became "war dialing." My uncle found out what I was doing (he'd been a sys admin in the early to mid 60s ) and told me to stop it. LOL. Back then there was no security to speak of. I later got interested in relativity and finite element modelling and wrote quite a few programs on this while in HS.

    BBS were starting to become popular and I joined a couple and went to a meet and greet. People could not believe I was me at first. LOL. I did meet adults who took me seriously for the first time in my life, though. That was a wonderful summer.

    Today's IDEs are too cumbersome for kids new to programming. It takes more work than I did to tool up.

    In my mind's eye, I can see a PG kid who is given access to the 'net and a good linux system at age 12 becoming a very good programmer by age 15 - there is so much material out there. The CUDA/GPU movement is just getting started as well.









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    Ds6 has a DS at his father's house and begged for a while for one over here -- no way! I don't think he needs *more* access to video games!

    Ds6 plays on the laptop here, though we have a Wii and an X-box too. He's much more into complicated RPGs with lots of statistics -- his usual go-tos are WOW and Spore. On his DS, he tells me he loves to play some Pokemon game with a loooong name (when he says it, it's like Ralphie in "A Christmas Story").

    He has lots of dramatic pretend play involving levels, powers, spells, abilities, potions, etc., etc. He created his own imaginary game called Super[name], which has been evolving over the past year and half or so -- but remains surprisingly true to its roots, lol.

    We don't have a time limit, but he usually plays for about half-hour on weekdays, and an hour or so on weekends. After I decide he's been on long enough, I simply tell him he's got 5 more minutes, and then that it's time to log off. He's learned that if he whines about stopping, then he won't get to play the rest of the day or the next day (and we follow through with that threat!).

    We also use "No Video Games" not infrequently as a threat -- it makes for powerful bargaining. To use a Dr. Phil-ism, it's "his currency." It's amazing to see how quickly that threat works! The key to this is, of course, telling him you're going to do it -- and then really doing it, and following through the entire term of the punishment, one day or one week. And after a week, he's a little off it anyway and remembering more things to do on his own, and he actually plays less. So everyone wins!

    Tracey -- of course he'll think it's mean for you to take away his gaming for a while. But he's 6 -- he can't regulate himself, so it's up to you! When we think ds needs time away, we simply tell him that we think he's been playing video games too much and that he needs to take a break. We explain that we've noticed that it effects what he chooses to do, and we think it would be good for him to do other things for a week.

    We banned ds last year after he started getting in fights at school -- this was almost certainly because he was getting *no* stimulation at school, but we decided that video game fighting wasn't helping. So we banned it. He did fine with the adjustment. He even understood why we were doing it. He didn't play for a good 6 months. We let him start again, and he's eased back into playing -- actually, we're getting close to a "detox" period again. smile

    I think as long as the child controls the video game, it's ok. It's when the video game starts controlling the child that you've got a problem.

    Shari -- where is your ds taking a programming class? I'd love to have ds do something like that!


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    We recently got a Wii. DS7 is only allowed to play Wii after dinner. I told him he is only allowed to play Wii after dark and he is mine as long as there is daylight. DS7 likes Wii, but sometimes he would rather play a strategy/war game on the computer that doesn't have fast moving images.

    During summer and holidays, DS is allowed to play educational games on computer during in the afternoon, because I need to put DD down for a nap.

    My own parents locked up the TV since I entered KG. I was not allowed to watch one single thing on TV except whatever they watched... news and weather report. Computer did not exist back then, so I read a lot when I was young. I believe my parents saw TV as evil as I see video games.




    Cindi
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    This is exactly what dh and I have been afraid of - it is hard enough right now to get ds8's attention, we have been adamant about no DS/gameboy. THEN the psych who recently tested him, said it might help with some of his social issues. We were surprised. He said they're very attractive to other kids and a conversation piece. We really don't know what to think. Whenever I see a cluster of kids around one kid with a game I wonder, 'is that good?'. Any thoughts on the social aspect? Dr. also said for a kid like ds less encouragement to be unique might be better...

    So far ds has not gone overboard with games, tv a bit, but generally he's just as interested in a lego or craft project or a book.

    Last edited by chris1234; 04/01/09 02:15 AM.
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    I do think it can be a social thing. I've heard this from my friend's as well. That it gave DC something in common with other kids. My son loves SPORE. He and his best friend and younger brother love to watch each other play and discuss strategies. When they are playing outside, sometimes they continue their SPORE game orally, developing their mental game as they run around like hooligans. They even WRITE about SPORE - gasp - boys writing! LOL. I think you just have to decide where you line is and as another poster said, make sure the boy is controlling the game rather than the game controlling the boy. In the summer, computer games dwindle as we spend more time outdoors.

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