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My DS is only 4, and is generally an incredible easy going cooperative child. But there are a few settings in which he acts out and I just don't understand his behavior at all. He just gets all goofy in groups. He says silly things, he doesn't listen good, he is not at all himself. Not so say he is perfect one on one, but significantly different and better behaved. He just started pre-k a couple weeks ago and his behavior at his pre-k the last few days hasn't been great. He behaves well over all and for at least the first week they said he was a pleasure to have in their class, but yesterday he decided to move all their furniture around which he told me they didn't like (I still don't understand why no one saw him doing this or stopped him, but I will have to check on that). And today he told us that he didn't want to sit during their project so they put him in time out and that they wouldn't let him jump on the trampoline so he threw a dinosaur model at the teacher. Now I heard nothing about this so I don't really know (I will call tomorrow, it's hard because I don't pick him up or drop him off). I just don't understand him and I worry about him in Kindergarten and how he is going to do. That is if he goes straight to K, I don't know what we are going to do with him. We are thinking that he is highly/profoundly gifted based on the things that he has done and continues to do. It seems like his behavior is worse with more stimulus. He told me today that he thinks that there are too many kids in his preschool. And some days he says "I hope there won't be as many kids there today."

Anyone else have, or had a child with behavior issues such as this? I try to tell myself that he is 4 and will outgrow it soon since there is generally a big change in behavior between 4 and 5. I work with this age group all day long...but not with gifted children. Any thoughts?

Hi, shellymos,

My first thought is that if this is the first time he's been in pre-k, he could just be trying to find his way in a group setting. Can't offer any other advice, but I'm sure someone will chime in.

Shellymos,
My heart goes out to you!
I hope you find out the 'school's side of the story' soon - but it sure would make me wonder.

How many hours/week is this activity?

How does your son behave in groups of older children?

I've BTDT, and I don't see how putting a child in a group that he can't possibly handle will teach him to behave well in groups. Why do I think it's likely that your son can't possibly handle this group? Because I've seen my own PG kid just plain not be able to handle either agemates, or interacting with the teachers who have a clear picture of 'what 4 year olds are like and what they need.'

I don't know if your son is ready for K now. If he will be ready for K next year. If he ever would be able to tolerate K. I do know that there are some kids who will tolerate much more than they should - to the point where they get sick from it, and there are other kids who act out when they can't take it.

Apparently you and I have the acty-outy kind. I count my blessings.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Thanks for the responses,
Re: Squirt's question...he was in pre-k last year a couple days a week for a few hours, but I pulled him out because he was acting out some (very minor) and they didn't seem to like him (long story). Anyhow, his last pre-k was too structured and a little too academic for him as reviewing shapes and letters was not his thing at the time...he bored quickly of that.

He typically does better with older children, but has never been in groups of older children. One on one he does pretty good. With adults he is great! I did speak with his teacher today and the child she described does not at all sound like my own. Granted, my DS is slightly impulsive at times...but she said some things that he did that really seem very mean and unlike him. And it all started suddenly 2 days ago (the same day that I happened to start him on a steroid inhaler for his asthma because he was having a hard time breathing). Anyhow, that may be impacting his behavior somewhat as I have noticed this before on days that I give it to him...I have talked with the doctor about that but that's another issue.

But I agree, he may not be able to tolerate groups of peers his age. They do some things that he does enjoy doing on his own though. and he says he really likes pre-k and his teachers. His teachers are really good with him which I am very thankful for. It's just hard to hear of my sweet caring sensitive boy acting like such a maniac. his teacher told me that yesterday he went over to a group of children playing chutes and ladders and just picked up the board and threw it on the floor. What is that about? I just don't get it at all. He has never done anything like that before.

Steroids can certainly affect behavior. I would check into that...he may be able to switch medications to something with fewer side-effects.

I would definitely look into the steroids. May be don't send him back till he is done with them or switch to a different medication. I would also suggest that you go and observe the class if it doesn't get better.

It's tough to find a placement that is structured, but not structured. I chose this pre-k because there was more free play and less "you have to sit and color the apple red" going on. I know he doesn't do will with arbitrary rules, so this place seemed very laid back...but clearly has routine and structure. But maybe not enough? Don't know. Anyhow, today apparently another child drew on the table with a crayon. The teacher told the other student not to draw on the table with a crayon. Then DS picked up a crayon and drew on the table. He has never even considered doing anything with a crayon/marker other than coloring. He is very good at following and understanding rules, but it was almost like "well this little kid did it, so I am going to try it too." Interesting. I do think he is very clear on rules and expectations at school and at home. He always is able to tell you what he should or shouldn't do and why. It's just this recent impulsivity that is driving me nuts.

Yes, I do think the steroids are a factor. I will most likely try to observe him sometime soon. I am waiting to hear back from the doctor about changing the meds and I think I am going to try to not give it to him tomorrow am and just give it to him in the afternoon instead. I am concerned about keeping him out of pre-k while waiting because he likes pre-k and I dont' want him to feel like he is being punished. Plus they are able to deal with him and seem to understand. today was pretty good, other than drawing on the table and dumping out magnets. There was no throwing or hitting. I guess that's good.

Shellymos, I have a friend whose ds was put on a new asthma medication and became aggressive at school. Once the medicine was changed, he went back to normal.

I am apologetically hi-jacking a thread from 2008 because I would like to know which asthma meds have less side effects, and what effects you have seen. It is full blown pollen season here in GA right now, and my DS-almost4 is a mess. We have tried four different steroids, and they all have crazy side effects. The least being him running to the bathroom with diarhea in the morning (like 5x's in a row)...the worst being tantrums and hitting. DS hates feeling this way, but we don't know what to do. Please help if you can. His asthma is really bad, and seemingly getting worse every season. (He has wheat and dairy allergies (although not deadly) as well, as an aside.)