Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Greetings from an overwhelmed newcomer

I don't actually know where to start... I'm sure that DS4.5 is gifted to some degree. How much? He hasn't been tested. I need suggestions as to where we should go from here. He is in a regular preschool (we found a co-op school with a really great bunch of teachers, but they have no experience with giftedness.) The teachers are beginning to ask me what we are going to do with him next, which is causing me some stress as are other things in our lives right now. My husband may be losing his job in the near future and we are going to be in major trouble if that happens. We are in Reno, the home of the Davidson Institute. I know that they have a program for 5 and up, but require all kinds of tests and take only the top of the top. I don't know the first thing about how and where to get testing done, and if it even makes sense if he isn't that gifted. The school district will make him wait another year and a half to start regular school because his birthday is in October. Also, because of budget cuts, the Governer is talking about eliminating the gifted programs in the schools in Nevada anyway.

Please excuse MY inability to describe things. I am the least verbal person in the family. I am a visual artist and have always dreaded having to express myself with words!

DS is a very verbal child however! His abilities seem to advance in spurts. He started talking around 9 months, but only said a handful of words although we knew that he understood a lot more. The floodgates opened at 1y4mo, and by 1y5mo he was talking in very complete sentences. He seems to have a natural understanding of grammar and has always spoken very clearly, pronouncing every sound and syllable.

He learned the alphabet in order, counting to 10, and all the letter sounds in just a couple of weeks at two when he was given some stick on vinyl letters and numbers for the bathtub. It didn't occur to us to try earlier! His sight word vocabulary grew a lot between 2 and 3. He started writing on his own at 3, and wrote a letter to Santa that Christmas at 3y2mo. By 3y7mos, he *seemed* to be reading his own board and easy reader books, but we also thought he might have just memorized them. During this time, he was reading increasingly complex books with Daddy at night, and had become completely obsessed with spelling and sounding out words.

Then, on his fourth birthday he was given a lot of new books and simply started reading them. The floodgates had opened once again. Now, he reads everything he can get his hands on, for pure pleasure, (out loud) without many problems at all. He learned about punctuation very quickly and reads with such passion. It's really cute! When he gets to a word he has never seen before he sounds it out or asks for help and moves on. He has progressed very rapidly in the last couple of months and is probably reading between a third and fourth grade level now. He likes the Dinosaur Cove books and I just ordered some Captain Underpants for him. The other night, when he should have been asleep, we caught him reading Doctor Doolittle (the original book, nothing "Disney-fied" in this household!) under the covers.

I think what is happening is that he is keeping everything to himself and waiting until he knows that he can do something absolutely perfectly and then he just DOES it. (Potty training happened like this.)

One other unique ability just surfaced. He is writing backwards. He likes to write words in the air with his finger, and started writing out a word for me. I pointed out that it was backwards to me, and without skipping a beat, he started writing backwards so that I could read it. Yesterday he wrote something on paper backwards and was delighted when I held it up to the window for him to read! Tonight DH asked him to read the cover of National Geographic upside down and he did it with no problems.

I call him my little engineer. From an early age he liked to build things with his bristle blocks. We have gears and wheels with the set. When he was 3, he saw someone throwing a pot on a potter's wheel, then went home and built one that turned around, and even included a foot pedal. He builds extremely detailed, very well engineered things. He likes to look at a drawing in a book (the bear's cottage in Goldilocks and the Three Bears for example) and make it out of his blocks in 3D. Recently, he did a series of drawings of the vehicles from Bob the Builder. He sat down and, looking at his set of die-cast models, drew them remarkably well! Maybe some of MY genes are in there after all!

I'm sorry that this is so long. I am truly grateful to have found this forum, and appreciate any input.

Hi G's Mom - welcome!

I would reccomend copy/pasting this above post into an email to the Davidson Folks -

Davidson Institute for Talent Development
9665 Gateway Drive, Suite B
Reno, NV 89521
Phone: (775) 852-3483 ext. 435
Fax: (775) 852-2184


For questions about the Davidson Institute's programs,
please email info@davidsongifted.org.

And ask them if they could possibly reccomend a tester.

Not sure if they will or won't, but worth a try....

If that doesn't help, I would call

Paul Beljan Psychological Services Paul Beljan, PsyD, ABPDN, ABPN, holds diplomate credentials with the American Board of Pediatric Neuropsychology and the American Board of Professional ...
www.paulbeljan.com/

in Arizona, which has amazing gifted programs.
Although I don't reccomend moving away from Reno, even if funding is cut, there are ways to get one's kid's needs met in the public schools, depending on the personality of the kid and the adventurousness of the parents.

If the preschool teachers are asking questions, then it makes sense to have him tested. Preschool teachers don't do that out of 'niceness' they are genuinly concerned. It would be lovely if he happenes to qualify for Davidson YSP, but the main thing is to get a relationship with a professional who can guide you in your family decisions. We all started out uninformed and in denial. Testing is expensive, but if you find someone who understands your child and your situation, you will save lots of money and lots of heartache.

I also reccomend that you go to your local library, or perhaps the University of Reno's if they lend to non-students, and get some books on gifted. Figure out what school district younger children would be attending if their families moved to Reno so that the older children could attend the Davidson Academy. Or you could place a 'babysitter wanted' notice on the Davidson Academy school buliteen board, and at least get to know some families who can give local advice. Or call the Academy and see if you can come by and teach a 'one time' class in your field for the middle school students.

Anyway, there is a wonderful book, called 'Losing our Minds, Gifted Children left behind' by Dr. Deb Ruf that I highly reccomend you read. It has a bit of a 'homebrew' IQ test, which might undereport your child's giftedness, but I don't believe that she'll exaggerate your child's giftedness, but the reason I want you to read it is to see that 'Yes - children who do these things early are going to have special educational needs.'

I also love about the book that it validates that all children who are gifted are worthy of thinking well about, no matter how extreamly far from the mean.

Love,
Grinity

My DD6 developed just like this. It was pretty amazing for us too. The writing backwards thing was shown to us the same time her ability to write upside down was! She was playing at a friends house drawing pictures and she decided to write a note to her friend upside down and backwards! (It sort of freaked the friend's mother out )
I would agree that if the preschool teacher things you need to do something, then you need to. Our preschool teacher kept asking us the same thing, and then asking us what they should do with dd for the rest of the year! We have been slowly getting things done now to get a full picture of her giftedness.
Good luck, and welcome!

You may be able to have a graduate student at the university do the testing on your child as well. They are typically overseen by a professor and the cost is generally minimal.

From your post it certainly sounds like you're dealing with a GT child. Lucky you to be so close to Davidson if it turns out that he qualifies.

Hi and welcome. I just wanted to say that you are doing your son a great justice by listening to the preschool's teachers comments. I wish I would have looked into things at that stage. My only advice would be to read up on giftedness and become familiar with all your options. Good luck!

Thank you for all the good advice!

One of my biggest concerns is that he is *emotionally* his age. He has grown by leaps and bounds being in this preschool around other children. He is an only child and will always be. He was born to us late in life. He came into the world one month after our 20th wedding anniversary!

I do see signs of him being bored in preschool, especially when the teacher is working on the alphabet and letter sounds with the others. He loves going to preschool and is finally, actually engaging other children and playing WITH them!

Isn't testing unreliable before 5 or so? Is there a way to see a sample test ahead of time? This kid does not like to have anything new sprung on him. He is a thinker. He is the most cautious child I have ever met. We go to a new playground and he sits there and watches everything for a while. The teachers at the preschool know that he needs a warning if the activity is about to change or he gets upset!

I did go out an buy some kindergarten and 1st grade workbooks (at Walmart) for him to do. He thinks his "puzzle books" are fun and it's really the first time he has been asked to read something and follow directions. He is doing fairly well (it's only been a week or so).

Thanks,
Robin

He sounds wonderful!!!

The Dr Ruf book will be a good introduction.

Hi Robin,
Hopefully, you will find a tester who is very familiar with gifted kids, and is used to their 'little peculiarities' - such as likeing to know everything in advance. Not all children test acurately, at any age, but the vast majority do - so I wouldn't worry about it. If it's a lower than you thought score, well, you can monitor and try again later. If it's higher than you expected, then trust it, ok? In the end, if he can work several grade levels above what his local agemates could do given the opportunity - he's gifted.

BTW - I wanted to point out that you expressed yourself very well in the above post. My guess is that you suffer from one or several of the key struggles that Gifties face.

1) We think that if we have to work really hard and struggle with something, then we must not be good at it.

2) We have no usable frame of reference. My guess is that you are able to express yourself verbally better than 90% of the population - however - in your family - you are the weakest. Since we all have a little part of us that wants to deny how different from the norm we are, we see ourselves as 'average' or 'below average' when we are well above average.

3) It is very hard to communicate with people who don't share enough common experience to get what you are trying to say. I suggest that you try a scientific experiement and post a bit here - my guess is that we will read your signal loud and clear. I thought that I was 'bad at talking' in elementary school because the words that came naturally to me were incomprehensible to my first grade classmates. I taught myself to be 'more verbal' by consiously forcing myself to use simpler language. Now as I type, I can hear my inner voice saying the word 'incomprehensible' just before I type it, and then hear my inner voice saying, 'hey - don't use that word, it's 'bad'' and the hear my inner voice saying 'hey -- you are on the gifted board, folks will know what that means, go ahead' and as I type it, I feel a small sharp pain in my chest, but I am brave and type it anyway. That's years of self-monitoring.

((Good thing I've got lightning fast processing speed, yes?))

Anyway - I don't know you, but it's just a guess, and i figure, if it doesn't apply to you exactly, then it probably applies to some of your family members, yes?

Anyway - Welcome Dear!

Love and More Love,
Grinity