Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Pre-testing questions

This is my very first post. I have an almost 4-yr old son...ok DS. We believe is GT; but we wouldn't even try to get him tested because he does not like to perform on cue. Is this "normal?" He has seen a Child Neuro at age 2) because teachers were trying to put some kind of label on him because he was different from the other kids in sensitivity and non-compliance and playing with kids his age, plus he was speech delayed. We just discovered that he is very allergic to wheat and dairy - his former staples; and he has had seasonal allergies and asthma since he was an infant. He played great with nice kids who were his age or a few years older; but they had a problem with him not being a rough and tumble boy with the interests of those boys, and not wanting to be around them. Not to be tacky, but my husband (an engineer) and my IQ's are both over 160; and we see alot of things in him that are also our idiosyncracies when we were little (and today:). So, we went to the neuro for peace of mind that we weren't crazy. We recited his knowledge (at age two). He knew his alphabet and numbers to 20 by pointing at 18 mths, exceptional memory,...i won't go on. He is also very sensitive, yet outgoing, funny and a blast. Since he started pre-school, which has been a difficult process with them trying to label him as something else because he is non-compliant at circle time (we think he is bored), it has been difficult to find a good fit for him. They will not explain things to him; and he does not just respond to "no, because I said so" type of responses. And they won't take the time to explain because the rest of the kids "can take being yelled at." I was actually told this by the first pre-school teacher we tried. Once they get upset, he starts to push their buttons more. He is good at this. He is a lovely child at home, especially since he is GFCF now; and we treat him with respect. Does any of this sound familiar to your children when they were young? I can write forever; so I'll stop now. Thank you!

Can anyone offer up any books to read, etc. to get more clarity on what our DS may be going through as well, please?

Ok, you got me... What's GFCF?

Gluten (wheat) Free/Dairy Free, sorry

Welcome Mom0405! I don't know a lot about overexitabilities and sensitivities, but I know they are common in GT kids. I also know allergies are fairly common in GT kids, but there's no real cause and effect. (My DS5 has dairy and seasonal allergies.)

As for not performing on cue, that is probably more a personality-based issue, although there are PLENTY of wilful GT kids! Did you learn anything from the child neuro?

Your son certainly sounds GT, and the apple usually doesn't fall that far from the tree, so he could be HG. The preschool sounds like a bad fit. I wouldn't want any child, GT or not, with a teacher that doesn't explain things and says the other kids are fine with being yelled at. If you can, i'd get out of there and try to find a more child-friendly place, where your child can be curious and be supported in his curiosity.

I would recommend reading Deborah Ruf's book Losing Our Minds. It has a great description of kids who have different levels of giftedness. You can find her book and some articles on her website:Ruf website/articles

Anyone else have a good recommendation re: OE's and sensitivities?

hope this helps.

Thank you very much. I took him out of that environment immediately.

The neuro at that point just said that he thought he was very bright. He ruled out Autism, ADHD and said he might be mild Aspergers but doubted that as well since Reid just had asynchronous development. At that point we were just trying to get someone to concur with us; but no one we have talked to has been very helpful in the school district which is weak. We are going to try a Montessori school in the fall since we recently had to take him out of a purely social fulfilling environment in one pre-school. His teacher was very kind; but 3 unruly boys entered the class and my DS started coming home extremely anxious and having up to 10 nightmares per night. Now he is at home, but and is very defensive around new adults for some reason. Someone started coming in to try helping him with sitting at circle time, but he was so frustrated and anxious in the environment, he would act out. He also started regressing in his communicating, and his writing started coming home very shaky as well. Actually everyone in his classroom started regressing. We couldn't see keeping our 3-yr old in that environment. He used to run into school, but at that point had started crying saying that he was scared to go. We realize that he does have some OT issues in the sensitivity area. But outside OT help seems to be fruitless outside the stressful environment. Thank you for the book referral. All help is welcome. I hope that no one was offended with the "label" statement. I wish they could assign something (so then we would know exactly how to help him); but nothing seems to fit. So please forgive me if I came off that way. It's one of my shortcomings/aforementioned idiosyncracies.

Hi - i don't think anyone was offended by the label statement. I bet there are several on this board who have encountered teachers who didn't understand that the behaviors they were trying to label as ADHD or otherwise were actually more related to a kid who is acting out because he is gifted and people don't understand him/her. I just think that some of the more prolific posters aren't on the board right now!

I'm sorry your DS has had to go through these bad school experiences. I know there are others on the board who have had similar issues, and hopefully one will post some advice about what worked for them. It's not really something I know much about yet.

Here is another link, in case you haven't discovered Hoagie's gifted yet:

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/sensitivity.htm

Another site that might be helpful: http://www.sengifted.org/

Mom0405,

I sent you a pm.

Hi, Mom 0405. Your story sounds very familiar. Actually did you copy my first post? hehe Due to all the OEs of my DS6, we decided to homeschool him. Preschool was exactly the same as yours sounds. Loud noises, kids squirming, sitting still to learn were too much to ask. No diagnosis fit. His preschool teacher was awesome though and gave him the highest math puzzles she could find. Not surprisingly he did great after that. A lot of posts have been posted lately about processing speed and timed tests. They might help. Also I suggest (in addition to St Pauli Girls recommendations) The Mislabeled Child by Dr Eide. Where you DS is different in regular classrooms, he will fit right in here. Welcome.

BTW-There is no way "Because I said so" would work for us either.

Thank you for the support! I started reading excerpts online of Losing... I smiled and almost cried. My current read at home is a starter homeschooling book, just in case. Just reading gave me a little peace, as a last option. We hope the Montessori will work out as a starter school. It was an amazingly peaceful environment. I couldn't believe it. One may have thought the kids were drugged; but upon entering the playground they let loose.:) DS was very intrigued with the math tools...he hadn't seen so many interesting "toys" to play with. All the other pre-schools had baby toys, or the learning tools I was shown were never utilized. And the teachers never had time for him. I was told that he had a lack of scissor skills just before we left this last school; but ten minutes at home, and he mastered it. Thank you again.