Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school I am drained...sooo drained.

Many of the kids that I get in my home aren't sure how to react unless they are being yelled at. It takes some time to convince them that you can work things out without all the noise. We are big talkers, even with the littles.

That's great! I think that it is really hard for some people not to yell when that is what they know (both kids and adults). I know everyone's temperament is different, and I really feel for those who that really struggle with this. Discussions are much more productive when voices aren't raised. I am thankful I don't have this issue. Maybe it's partly the field I am in, how I was raised, or just my overall temperament. But yelling isn't an issue for me.

I find it interesting Shari that when you take a child out of a home where they have been yelled at constantly (or not even yelled at, but just constant yelling), and you put them in an environment where that doesn't happen...how hard and confusing that is for them. Often times these kids will try to start arguments just to feel more comfortable. It makes things seem more real and it's all they know. That is wonderful that you are able to not give in and teach them other ways.

It's not as hard as you might think. They are entitled (at least in my house) to an opinion. Once they realize that someone is actually listening, they tend to let the yelling go.

Yup, that's what we do, too: talk first, decide second, then stand firm. It's open for discussion until it's decided. Then no more talk.

I say great job to you and that is not being a push over. DD use to try that with me. Forever I would give her something in the cart to play with but tell her we are not buying it. And on occasion she would argue that she wanted it, but I never gave in. Most of the time I would respond once and ignore the rest. Now when we go to the store and she gets something to look at she tells me that it is just for her to look at and we are not buying it and never argues the point. So keep doing what you are doing and she should come around to acceptance in no time.

Master of None, I think your points are very, very important.

LOL.

DW has been working on a contract for several weeks now. She told me tonight that:

"If someone from the other side leaves happy after a negotiation, then I left something on the table. The deal is best when neither side is happy."

Has some truth to it.

I'd have to agree.

Mr W is very intense some times. He can be very demanding and when he takes it into the car seat, it can be very frustrating to have him back talking and screeching while you are trying to drive.

Last weekend he was just over the top and I pulled over, turned around and glared at him, told him that I expected better of him, he was not being fair to me, and that when we arrived, he would have my undivided attention.

It worked!!!! I saw a guilty look on his face for the next 10 minutes and he was quiet until we got to the bookstore.

IMHO there is an emotional component to communicating and that can resonate with him.