Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy The Saga Continues....

Just throwing this out there for anyone that is still with me...
Brief re cap...
DS11 having anxiety issues we are working on getting resolved, got a mid term grade of D+ in Math ( first mid term EVER, with high math scores on WJ-III ).

It has taken six weeks now for me to get a meeting with the teacher, counselor and principal. The meeting is Wed. I have had NO contact with the teacher at this time despite 3 e-mails from me.
Today, DS came home from school with a letter from the math interventionalist letting me know that DS will be participation in intervention classes in preparation for Standardized testing in April. They did not contact me before sending this letter home. DS , who is very sensitive about this, and in fact a few weeks ago voiced fear that he would be put in a remedial class, is devestated. He cried in my kitchen after school today he was so ashamed.

In addition, he got a 63% on a science test today. The majority of points missed were on a problem where he had to plot points on a graph. He inverted the x, y axis, and did not set the problem up on the right paper.
He plotted all of the points correctly.
The teacher wrote on the test "You have graph paper with lines. Why aren't you using the given lines?. How many times have we practiced this and never once done what you have drawn? I don't understand."

So obviously I already have a meeting set up, but at this point I feel pretty hopeless. If she cannot at least give him some common respect, how will I ever get her to follow an 504? And what would you all do with the math intervention? He is so upset by the stigma of this, not to mention I think that they are doing it to boost their test scores. I am really thinking about refusing to allow him to participate. (BTW I am absolutely livid about all of this, but have calmed down since school let out, and able to get some coherent thoughts down....)

I'm so sorry. It sounds awful.

I can understand feeling hopeless, but set it aside and gear yourself up for the meeting. Don't worry about how you're going to get her to follow a 504. You can't control her actions and will feel more helpless if you make that your focus.

Instead focus on being an effective advocate for your son by preparing for the meeting. Here is a link with some things to consider and I really thought this point was important in your case:


http://ednews.org/articles/27708/1/...-school-or-district-officials/Page1.html

Wishing you the best!

Jbr3610 - I have no advice but just wanted to send hugs. The note she wrote on his paper just sounds so negative. Perhaps she needs to enlist DS in coming up w/ a strategy so he remembers to use the given lines? It just seems w/ his anxiety, such negative notes whether intended or not, will only make it worse.

hugs,
Dazey

Just a thought. When I was that age it was not "cool" to be smart and I went through a phase where I purposely did bad so I would not be tagged a "nerd". Any chance this could be part of it, your DS11 trying to fit in?

I'm very sorry. Mostly I cannot imagine having to wait to get a mtg with a teacher - is Bill Gates his teacher this term or something? In my own memory, I learned at lot about the kind of person I wanted to be and how my actions could impact others from a few bad teachers. I don't think my parents would have wished it on us. But it is a glimpse of some of the ugly to be faced in life down the road. I don't know about his school... but kids today seem to pulled so much for this and that I would try not to worry about it. Famous last words eh?

Sincerely,
The shoe cobbler

Good point! I read the note again and it sounds like she saw him work the problem correctly during the practice and she's confused about why he made the mistake on the test. Sounds like a great opening to discuss his strengths, why his strengths aren't coming through on the tests, and how you can work as a team to help alleviate the problem.

Hi All, we just got back from the meeting, and thankfully I think for the most part it went well. The principal and counselor are extremely supportive, and very focused on looking at the big picture and doing what we can to intervene to prepare for middle school. They took almost all of our suggestions and will be implementing them on a trial basis to see what works. At that point, we will meet again to draw up a 504 based on what is successful. They are going to meet with DS to re-explain what the math intervention is being used for, and if he is still upset about it, he will be able to make the decision to not attend. The Principal was clear that she understood why this was causing anxiety for him.

The teacher, as expected, was not as supportive and focused on symptoms and not cause of anxiety. I think we will see her "let up" now that everyone else is involved.
My main focus now is helping him transition to middle school.
Thanks everyone for all of your support

Glad to hear it went well. You may want to send a thank you note which sums up the action plan so you have something in writing. Hope this is a turning point for your son!