Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Boredom, AD/HD and giftedness

giftedticcyhyper,
Well said...
I had a school psychologist tell me that my mistake was allowing my son to work on accelerated material when he was 3. We should have ignored all his questions on volcanos, weather systems, science, etc... Letting him read books that early was a bad thing. Now who sounds like a raving lunatic? ;-)

FrustratedNJMOM, take a look at the links here (thanks to MsFriz on another topic for posting to the Davidson state policies list): http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/StatePolicy.aspx Maybe you're close to one of the weekend programs.

Oh, goodness. I just want to hug everyone.

Grinity - I agree about the "drug test;" I got this one as a suggestion from a psychologist, and I also thought it a really horrible idea.

JoJo - You sound like me - here I am trying to find a way to get DS to just do the blasted work, but really I want him to enjoy school and learn something in class.

...and FrustratedNJMom and giftedticcyhyper might just be describing my DS - if only we all lived closer and our kids could benefit from this network the same way that we do (directly).

[Aside coming: I was diagnosed ADD (as an adult), but I figured I didn't need meds because I had lived so long without them. Of course, I was MG (er, am), so I can't be sure if the diagnosis is wrong. I did however, get in trouble in school for standing up in class and not paying attention...and not following directions. I remember that in one class, the teacher just took my chair away for the rest of the year saying, "If you aren't going to sit in the chair, you don't get one." I wonder if she thought I was going to want to sit - crazy lady.]

I deal with all this with my children all the time. I'm not sure where to draw the lines for them. I tell the school that you cannot assume that all bad behavior is because of a child's bad attitude and that if a child is challenged to his/her appropriate level then you can really tell what the issues are. So I told them that I will accept behavior plans and motivations (because my DS7 does need to learn how to verbalize better when he's mad), but they have to do pre-testing, work on challenging him and try to make sure that he is working to his level. Like I said though, the main focus of elementary school seems to be writing out everything in a repetitive, boring manner and using lots of materials to create crafts. My son dislikes both things.


BTW: On the ADHD thing...stimulants relax ADHD kids, they do not get them to hypefocus. That's the big difference. To a normal person, a stimulant will actually stimulate them, making them feel more alert and ready to take on the world. To a true ADHD person, a stimulant will relax them because to be ADHD is to be understimulated. So the stimulant will allow them to focus, which allows them to rest a bit.

I'm not sure I believe in ADHD as a general diagnosis, but I do know that the stimulant thing is true, because I have this issue. If I drink coffee slowly, it helps me relax just enough to be able to do mindless boring work. If I drink a coffee quickly, I will be unable to stay awake.

Lya

Ah my MIL said something similar to me. I take DS to museums, we do science (chemistry and physics) at home, we watch lots of science shows....how could he not find school boring? K almost killed him w/ all the worksheets, cutting, pasting. Some kids love it, it was a noose for my poor kid.

FrustratedNJMom:


A friend is now HSing her son. His behavior was constantly harped on by the teachers. I think b/c of his giftedness, they expected him to behave better while the other students, with much more poor behavior, got off w/ no reprimand. He really was damaging to his self-esteem. Now with HSing, he has jumped ahead several grade levels in every subject, his behavior is outstanding, adults comment on the change in him. I say if you can HS (financially and emotionally) than definitely try it!!! I'm HSing my son, and while it is difficult (he's difficult and I have a toddler and a 5yr old in PS), he's much happier than when in PS. He complains about HSing being too hard --- this is the first time he's really had to work and it was a blow to his self-esteem....but I know he'll grow from it and be better off.

Thanks for the link on NJ's policy. I know our district is not meeting the 2005 mandate on gifted education. I've spoken with the NJDOE Director G&T, who basically told me there's not enough time to monitor all school districts for compliance. Districts know this. I work for another public school and they are blatantly out of compliance and do not care.
Here's one of many problems in NJ -- I could call Trenton and report my district & they would eventually investigate. Trenton might even make my district correct it's assessment methods & actually offer appropriate instruction starting in kindergarten as per the mandate. Here's the catch -- the state does not specifically require IQ testing so the district can rely entirely on subjective measures like teacher recommendations. (I read recently that teachers are correct in identifying gifted kids 4.3% of the time.) Under NJ law a district does not have to honor outside testing or assessments. Add to that a kid who presents like or actually has ADHD and they are most likely not going to be identified as gifted under these circumstances. Especially if the district has an ax to grind with the parents who reported them to the state for being out of compliance.
I've been tempted on more than one occasion to report our district. I stop because I think in the long run more harm than good will come to my son.
I need to move...
Momofgtboys - I hear you!
By the way, being new here I've noticed a lot text I'm not familiar with - what do things like DD7 & DD stand for? I figure it's a reference for someone's child.
Thanks.

http://www.incrediblehorizons.com/mimic-adhd.htm

50 conditions that can mimic ADD/HD are listed at the above link. Unfortunately, ADD is often a first thought rather than a possibility.

Dazed&Confuzed,
Thanks. It's so nice to hear that someone understands and has found a solution. Any info you have on HS would be appreciated.
My son who is going to be 7 in March is tall -- no make that down right huge for his age. Off the growth chart. He's bigger than many 4th graders at his school. Given his verbal skills he's always been thought of as older. Add the whole gifted thing to the mix and even I have fallen for having higher behavioral expectations than he's capable of right now. When your watching a PBS special on the brain and he's talking about & understanding theories on brain function it can be easy to forget that he's 6.
Thanks again everyone. This forum has really helped me feel a bit better. It's so nice to be able to share without being judged. Everyone thinks you have a personal ego to stroke when you have a gifted kid. I find I can't talk to many people about any of this. Which makes me the frustrated Mom that I am. ;-)

Mamabear -- awesome article! Thanks!