Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Being your own kid's teacher...

count me in on that one - although I will say that with the gradeskip in place, I'm not dissapointed with my son's experience in the public middle school. There was sore dissapointment back in the elementary school days. And a good does of 'We are an excellent school system, so we don't have to be flexible!' was very hard on us back then.

Hi Jen,
I have an idea you haven't mentioned, but I'm sure you must have thought about: Enroll her in First Grade at the neighborhood school! That way you solve the half day problem and the HG problem in a single stroke. Cool, huh?

I have minimal experience about trying to teach other kids while my son is in the room, but I doubt very much that it would bring out the best in him. It isn't unusual for Gifties to be very intense, and the little ones are much worse at 'faking it.' During Kindy, I would come into his daycare that provided before and aftercare for him, mostly so I could snoop around, once every 2 weeks and bring computer programs and introduce the kids and teachers to the programs. DS took it as an opportunity to 'help' me and boss the other kids around. Not good! He was clearly very jealous of me 'concentrating' on other kids. Some of us have noticed that certian little Gifties are a powerful form of birth control as well.

Here's my thought: These young ones experience a much greater % of the world than they are emotionally ready to handle. Having Mom around to 'clarify' this high number of puzzling experiences is a good stratagy. Other Adults (sadly sometimes including Dad) talk down to the preschooler, don't give useful information fast enough, can't intuit what information the preschooler needs next, and laught at them because they seem 'cute.' Is it any wonder that they 'defend' their turf?

So I would seriously consider a placement in first, perhaps with subject accelerations as needed. There is nothing 'slight' about Highly Gifted. HG really stands out amoung even a crowd of MG (Moderatly Gifted - the vast majority of the gifted population) unless you have a very skewed population. The fact that you can't just blab away about your concerns with your neighbors tells me that you are not living in one of these unusual places, see what I mean?

Anyway - If you have access to the Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual, take a look and then ask us more questions!

One thing I love about starting the school experience with kids one year older, is that you eliminate a lot of questions, and also that your daughter gets a chance to keep the friends she makes. There is also an excellent chance that the social fit will be much better.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Hi Grinity,

Thanks so much for your thoughts - I did have a fleeting moment when I considered a grade skip, but I have a number of reservations (not the least of which is the fact that I've never heard of it being done in our district). They are:

1. My kid is quite small for her age, and she also has a late spring birthday.

2. The idea of sending a young 17-year-old off to college is a bit disconcerting!

3. She is not reading well yet.

4. There are days when I just don't see her as "that smart." Does that make sense? I don't have a lot to compare her to, but I keep thinking that she can't be THAT much smarter than the status quo in this district full of doctor's and lawyer's kids...and some days, she does stuff that totally AMAZES me, but other days I think, "This kid's GIFTED??"

Reasons I've considered acceleration:

1. Her math achievement testing showed her at a k.9 level at age 4 1/2 (not super high, but easily 1-2 years ahead with no formal math instruction). Reading achievement wasn't tested because she was only starting to sound out words at that time.

2. She much prefers the company of older kids or adults. When we had her at a gifted preschool, she had tons of friends (both older and same-age) - but we were forced to pull her for logistical reasons. She is now in a regular preschool in our district, and she hates it. She says she has no friends, and I never see her interact with anyone there except her younger sister (age 3). The worst part is that she doesn't really complain about it - just seems to accept the fact that she doesn't have any friends and plays at stations by herself.

3. K in our district is only 1/2 day, and she appears to have mastered nearly all of the end-of-year expectations. What she doesn't have (i.e., being able to effectively write out all numbers up to 100), I could easily work on over the summer. Also, since K is only 1/2 day, she will have to go somewhere for afterschool care - effectively a baby-sitting service that most likely will have no real learning experiences.

Anyway, I will order a copy of the Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual and take a look - perhaps it will help make things a little clearer. Thanks for the insight!

Yes, that's exactly the situation here. But I feel like everything happens for a reason. We might not have ever discovered HSing if we hadn't moved here. Plus I love my current town. I really feel bad for the gifted kids here, though.

Around here, 1st grade is the "learn to read" year, so I wouldn't worry about sending a child who isn't yet reading well up to 1st grade. It would probably be a pretty good fit. But if K is the big "learn to read" year in your school, then I might think twice about acceleration.

I also wouldn't worry too much about sending a 17yo to college. If it's a huge concern, you could always do a planned de-acceleration in high school, when there's more challenge and perhaps even free college credits available. Or she could take a year off to work or travel or attend community college. But it always seems silly to me to worry about what will happen 10 or 12 years from now with kids like these. Sometimes I can't figure out next month! Take the problems as they come and try to solve the ones that are right in front of you without stressing excessively about problems that might never even become problems, you know? I'd send a mature, self-assured 17yo off to college before an immature, insecure 19yo any day!

If she does well with older kids, then I wouldn't worry so much about her size, especially since she's a girl. That just isn't such an issue for girls.

As for the "Is she really THAT smart?" issue: I'm not clear on what testing she's had, aside from the math achievement testing that showed her 1-2 years ahead. Did you say she had the WPPSI? Sorry to be forgetful...I have been sick! But I can't tell if this is a real concern or just GT denial. (It sounds just like denial, but I want to be fair! )

P.S. I just saw your note about how bad the community college is in your area, so feel free to disregard that option if you like. Though in 10 or 12 years, you may be in a different place, too, one with a great CC! So maybe don't disregard, but just keep in the very, very back of your mind...

Good point about the reading - here, K is responsible for numerous sight words (which DD4 already knows), but 1st grade is the "reading" year. She is picking things up rather quickly now with the Word Wall concept, so I expect she'll be well on her way by the end of the summer.

Her WPPSI was FSIQ 139, Verbal = 141, Performance = 135. Processing brough the FSIQ down; she had only a 110 on that (psych said she was very much a perfectionist during the test). To me, her score is not that high - especially considering what some of you all are dealing with! But when I visited the K room in our district, my first thought was "Wow, she's doing that NOW. What's she going to learn next year?"

I hadn't seriously considered the grade skip until Grin's post last night, but I happened to mention it to my DH before going to bed, and he LOVED the idea. So perhaps we've got some thinking to do....

At this point, however, I'm not even sure how we'd approach the school.

I dunno. That's quite high.

And if she had any ceiling issues with the WPPSI--not to mention perfectionism issues that might be masking her abilities, too--then perhaps she's even higher than her scores show. Processing speed can make a difference in how a child fits in school, but it isn't really all that relevant to intelligence proper. And if the problem is perfectionism more than actual inability to work fast, well, that's a different issue. That doesn't affect school work nearly so much as just plain slowness.

Do they give a GAI on the WPPSI (as they do on the WISC)? I'd be looking at that if they do. I'm betting it's off the charts!

Her scores certainly seem quite high enough for you to be considering a grade skip. So for the "Is she really THAT smart" issue, I'm voting that you have GT denial, not valid concern. I think a grade skip might be just the thing for her.

Thanks for all of your insights! Dottie, do you mind sharing your DD14's LOG? I see your "what-if" questions as very valid concerns, and it might help to know how our kids might compare. As for "finally grouping" in middle school, I couldn't agree more that it should be done in elementary. In a normal school setting there might be 2-4 HG kids per grade level - problem is, the principal will split them up to be fair to EACH TEACHER so the test scores aren't skewed (thus making one teacher look better than the others). Never mind about what's best for KIDS! Anyway, that's why HG kids tend to be alone in reg. ed. classrooms throughout elementary. Middle school tends to automatically separate them out because of elective Advanced Skills classes and/or math tracks. That's one reason we considered Montessori for the elementary years - I feel like if we can get DD4 through grade 5, she'll be okay after that. Maybe that's wishful thinking, though?

Kriston - they don't do a GAI for the WPPSI, as the processing counts for much less on that test than it does on the WISC-IV. It probably brought her FSIQ down somewhat, but I don't think it could be by more than 1 or 2 points. Maybe Dottie has more insight on that...

Again, thanks for your comments - you've given me a lot to chew on!

Dottie,

This is excellent food for thought - thanks! Interesting that your kids are quite different LOG - we have sort of assumed that our DD3 is nowhere near DD4, and that she'll probably be fine in reg. ed. Kindy in 2 years (making our decision on where to place DD4 even tougher). However, DD3 has recently started spontaneously reading the words on DD4's Word Wall - so we started one in her room as well (which she's very excited about!). Thus far, I'd say she's nowhere near DD4 in terms of articulation or vocabulary or critical thinking - but the early reading thing makes her an enigma. :-)

Do your kids have any sibling rivalry over their different LOG?

Obviously, we'll be putting a lot of thought into a possible grade skip - it's not something to be taken lightly (especially considering that DD4's b-day is nowhere near the cutoff). Thanks for providing another perspective!