Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Are your kids 'smarter' than you?

Opposites do well at this, too. Bless 'em, my mom and sister make me crazier than anyone else, and they are NOTHING like me. They are very emotional, very passive aggressive, very self-sacrificing (only to be mad when their sacrifices aren't valued by others as much as they're valued by the sacrificer), etc. Seriously, get one of them with me, and it's just like Bones and Spock duking it out!

I often say that we just don't speak the same language, and as a result, we drive one another nuts. Though in our situation, it's completely without meaning to.

Different reason, same result.

I almost included the opposite comment but didn't, but you are so right. By the way ... are you sure we aren't related? You described my mother and sister to the T. The odd thing is I get along great with my mom but not at all with my sister, probably b/c she is over the top with it all.

LOL!

I can usually manage to get along with one or the other but never both at the same time. And I'm always on pins and needles because at any moment, one of them will get mad at me for some completely inexplicable reason that I never saw coming.

It's like waiting for a bomb to go off.

Is that what it's like for you, too, K'sMom?

The bomb HAS gone off for my sister. Sadly, I am not even talking to her at this point. She is so frustrating b/c she is the ultimate passive aggressive person. When I finally have enough and confront her with why she is upset and what can we do to improve the situation I get the childish act of her hanging up the phone and refusing to talk to me all together, but when she is ready to let it go it is never to be discussed but let's pretend everything is alright and have some fake relationship. It really is frustrating and sad.

Oh, I wish I didn't know what you mean. *sigh* So frustrating! It really does sound like we share relatives!

For what it's worth, sharing with my friends about family issues I have come to realize that my family is not out of the norm. Most of my friends have to deal with the passive aggressive family member which is usually their mother. It does make for some interesting stories as we compare notes.

True, though I suspect you and I have worse cases than the norm.

I know that direct women are relatively rare. It's one of the reasons that other women either like me very much immediately or detest me--no real in between. My directness annoys passive aggressive people a lot, though, according to my family!

You so hit it on the nose. Strong direct women can be seen as aggressive and unnatural!!! So I too have minimal 'girl' friends and have always had a lot of guy friends. My bestfriend has always been my husband. But the 'girl' friends that I do have are close friends that have been in my life for years and will be in my life forever. Now that I have my child and having to interact with the 'moms' I am sure I will be on the outside because I don't fit the mold and I don't do well with the fluff talk. I am always that intense one. So time will tell.

Yup. You're 100% right that it does mean we get along well with men and minimize those "fluffy" friendships. That's my experience, too. Friends with me tend to be lifelong friends, male or female. Fewer, but deeper.

And I'm perfectly okay with that!

I think my daughter and i are both similar and completely different. We both stick to our opinions, there is no pushing us around, but she is very stubborn for the sake of it and hates rules where as i respect (valid) rules and will listen to other peoples opinions. Also she is only just 2

My sister and mother argue lots, they are so similar. My mum can bait people into a situation where they are wrong no matter what. She also does that sacrifice thing which drives me crazy!

I also have more male friends than female, i have always felt more comfortable around men.