Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Belief in Santa

Yes, I suspect that asking skeptical questions about Santa counts at least as partial credit with Dr. Ruf. If not, then I think it should!

DS7 has been asking skeptical questions for maybe 3 years, but I have never given him a straight answer. I refuse to lie, so I, too, pull the "What do you think?" defense, or agree with him when he observes that something doesn't make sense: "Yes, DS, it doesn't seem possible for Santa to get all the way around the world to every house in just one night. Hmmm. What do you make of that?" He usually finds some creative way to explain it: "Maybe Santa is really a genius who has invented a time machine?" I have a hard time thinking that this sort of answer means he's not that smart... LOL!

I'm not yet willing to tell him the truth because he hasn't asked me outright "Is Santa fake?" But I prefer not to ruin that part of his innocence either. As long as he only asks questions, I'm playing along.

Really, belief in someone who gives you presents doesn't seem to me to be a very reliable way to determine that someone isn't GT. How is looking a gift horse in the mouth showing intelligence? (Totally kidding!)

DS7 and DD4 are still very much believers. They just got their annual letters from santa today, and the looks on their faces was wonderful. I made them here: http://www.freelettersfromsantaclaus.com/free_printable_letters_from_santa.asp

From the start, DS did not believe at all in "the legend of Santa Claus" (how can he possibly get to all those houses on one night?) and asked me outright last year at age 7. I asked him if he wanted to believe and he said yes, and I said Santa is real to those who believe. Then, my DH but a boot print in the fireplace and my MIL wrote DS a letter from Santa. I'm a bit concerned that they went too far, and DS will be really mad when he learns what they did. He now believes wholeheartedly at age 8, and I'm feeling uncomfortable.

You could always lead him back by asking probing questions, Questions. There are ways to ease him back to reality, I think, so that if he wants to stop believing, it doesn't have to feel like such a betrayal...

I think many of these kids who question whether Santa exists, are 99% sure he does not exist, but they are playing along because they don't want to spoil the fun. If you find it fun to make-believe that Santa delivers presents, find a way to introduce reality to your kids in a way that they participate in being 'Santa'.

BTW, when I was very young, I asked questions. My mom told me quite early--and in no uncertain terms!--that there was no Santa, and that I should keep the secret from my little sister. I have a very clear memory of being deeply disappointed...and that my eye-level was still below the countertop! (I wasn't a short kid either!)

I don't blame my mom one bit for that, but I also don't want to be the one to give my kids the sad feeling that I had. Thus my "never lie, but never tell the truth either" bob-and-weave.

It may still screw them up, but at least it will screw them up in a different way than I'm screwed up. Progress!

I think there is plenty of room for creatively defining "Santa" as the Spirit of Christmas or the Joy of Giving without expecting anything in return. Defined this way, Santa, I hope, is alive and well in all our hearts. To say that Santa exists is not lie, but you have to be willing to think metaphorically!

This is a great idea, but if you have strong willed child, be careful. A couple years ago, probably when DS was 11 or so, I enlisted him in helping me find and wrap presents for Santa to give. He helped me wrap them and label sock with the adults names on them so I could put them out on Christmas night after he was asleep. But he stayed awake and refused to go to sleep. At about 1 am when he was still wide awake, I allowed him to put the adults suprise stockings out. He loved it. Since then, I have made all the adults in the house pretend to go to bed early so he can hide the stockings. Then the adults get back up again after he is tucked safely in bed again.

That boy has a strong will!!!

LOL!

DS6 is a born skeptic and I can't remember a time when he believed in Santa or the Tooth Fairy. He doesn't believe in the Bible stories he's learning in Sunday school either. But he agrees that he can still learn something from the stories even if he doesn't believe it...