Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy grade acceleration

Wow! Delbows that's our rule, too! My chiropractor literally gasped the other day when I told him that. He had been telling me he couldn't get his son to do his homework and he told his son that "if you worked as hard on homework as you do on the Nintendo 360, you'd be a straight A student".

I also pointed out that my DS15 IS a straight A student.

We don't allow any electronic games from Sept. to May end unless there is a long weekend or break. Then they can have it out.

I'm glad to know there are other mean moms out there!!!

We are also mean. In our house there are no computer games on weekdays, and on weekends only if they have completed their homework. And yes, my DS11 is crazy about Runescape. We do not even own Game Cube or Playstation. It's just computer, but trust me, even on weekends it can get crazy.
As far as CC classes, or even University (we live five minutes from one), I honestly do not know how to find time? I am a stay at home mom 80% of the time, so after school time is totally devoted to my kids (and later in the evening my husband :-),but time is such a precious gem. Our kids play violin and piano, so we are talking here about daily practice, cross country right after school 2 X weekly , time for family dinner, homework, some reading just for pleasure - and the day is gone. Plus, my son never asks me for more "academic" activities after school. That's were my frustration is...he just does not realize how "brainy" he is, does not realize that he has to nurture that brain of his becasue otherwise it will just go to waste.
Last year during the talent search he scored highest in the region in math and he scored highest in our state in LA, despite the fact that we do not use english at home, not at all! (we take advantage of the fact that both my husband and I are fluent in another language, so we decided to use that language exclusively at home - it's easy for all of us, we just switch into english when we leave the house).
My husband says occasionally that I should let our DS be just a normal kid and not worry so much about him. But he is not normal, he does not behave normal, and if left to himself, I truly believe that, his talents would just go to waste. I strongly believe that I should advocate for him, maybe one day he will be on the team that discovers a cure for cancer! I just wish it wasn't so frustrating....
Ania

I just met a IRL mom, who early enteranced her kid, and was curious about our "frank" gradeskip. She said her mother told her "you don't want your kids to be Geniuses - it's too difficult!" I said -
a) Geniuses are people who achieve something, we are talking about children here!
and
b) It's not a question of what kind of child you wanted - it's a question of what kind of child you got!

She laughed.

I find that the first 5 things that come out of a person's mouth after the subject of giftedness comes up are best forgotten. Usually then are half formed things that someone else believed. Once the other person's brain starts thinking for themselves, adults are usually very thoughful and supportive.

I know it seems like you don't have any time, but - really - what are the priorities? How bad are things? How desperate are you?

the point isn't to win giftogenic parent points - the point is to observe, self-educate, and put a provisional plan into action.

((I made up the word giftogenic parent - to refer to us, the parents of gifted kids, who ourselves may or may not be gifted.))

I strongly believe that you should advocate for your child out of fairness. Every kid deserves to be well thought about. Whatever his future accomplishments, he deserves a reasonable shot at an appropriate education now.

Love and More Silliness,
Trinity

I think that is the thing that hurts me most when I interact with educators. I am truly just advocating to help my son who is SUFFERING due to educational neglect and misunderstanding. I really did not wish giftedness on him. I always had a feeling I would have very gifted kids because I am such a person and so is DH, 3 out of our 4 siblings, 4 out of 4 parents...etc. But, I know childhood as a gifted kid isn't easy. I want it to be easier for Mite and DS15 (who needs a nickname:^)

just an aside....Mite got his nickname because when he was newborn I called him a "tiny little speck...a teensy mite of humanity". DS15s nickname is actually highly recognizable on the web because ages ago, when he was a tadpole, I wrote regularly to the usenet groups about him. So, I can't use it here.

Well WG -
You could call DS15 "Rite" and in "Mite" doesn't equal "Rite."
Ania -
Ok - seems like this is the age were a non-parent mentor is the best way to go. Can you take him Mentor shopping at the local University?

I mean, just knock on doors in a good guess department and introduce yourself until you get someone who agrees to meet your son, then that someone can get other someones to continue talking to your son.

Other ideas - The teaching company CD's on a long car ride, gifted summer camp, setting up a Davidson informal gathering if your in YSP, or a teen get together for you statewide gifted org if not.

Also - sit and watch him play Runescape, is he interested in killing monsters, selling items in his stores, collecting items or chatting online during the play? If he likes selling items, perhaps he'd be interested in the stock market. If it's the chatting, then put your energy into gathering like minded tweens and teens together. My DS10 is lucky enough to have a Yu-gi-oh card tournament in out home town, so he get to hang out with mixed age "fellow nerds" on a weekly basis. Why go out of your way to help him hang out with bright boys? Because the will create a social atmousphere where it is ok to want to learn and develop.

In a way the gradeskip will give him a disadvantage in competitions, but is winning competions a priority compared to DS being in a academic/social environment that may keep him engaged with learning at school? He seems immature to you, but I know that my DS10 is highly variable in his maturity - that is - in many ways he's fully adult in his maturity and in many ways he seems a year or two behind for his age. Be sure you spend enough time around normal 11 and 12 year olds so you are being a fair judge. There isn't any "maturity test," as far as I know. (That's why it's not part of the Iowa Acceleration Scale, I did ask.)

Good luck, and enjoy him as much as possible. Remember that his brain probably isn't shriveling up right this second with the math and LA accomidation. ((Wink)) He's probably using his intelligence in a direction that's difficult for adults to see - one can hope!


Trinity

I have been thinking about the mentor for quite some time now. Will have to do some investigating at the university . I also started checking out classes at the local CC. Will keep you posted.
As for Runescape, it is definately mostly chatting and selling. I actually believe that he is chatting a lot with the girl form class that really likes him ;-). DS11 would love to play the stock market, we just have to find time to help him get started!
What do you mean by "Teaching Comapny CD's ?
We are not YSP - I don't know if I have the energy to go through the process. Begging for letters, prooving what is right there in the open, making more enemies...
Have to go, I am running a Book Club today at my DD9 school (children's literature in translation)
Will check back tonight.
Ania

Hi Ania,
http://www.teach12.com/teach12.asp?ai=16281 is the link for the teaching co. I'm going through the Ancient Egypt currently and can't wait to get back in the car.

have you tried the Standard Deviant DVD's - they are more for fun.

As for Davidson, my reccomendation, is that if you have the test scores already, and they fit in the guidelines, just fill out the application and ask for the reccomendations - no begging. His Language Arts teacher would probably be kind enough to do one, and his Geometry teacher. After all, they aren't going to be surpirsed. From then on think if it as a nice plus, but certianly not a nescessity. Just the way you probably encourage your son to try new activities that he isn't sure he'll succeed at.

Sounds like you are on the right track-
Trinity

Hi Ania,

You could also ask for recommendations from your son's music teacher. I had my DD's piano teacher do one of the recommendation letters.

Mite don't make Rite...chuckle.

The mentoring concept is marvo. Finding one is a bit complicated, imo, unless you live near a U or in a high funda city.

I'm wondering if we need to find one for general or should it be topic specific?

Not one of Mite's teachers is willing to sponsor him because they "just don't see it" (quoting 2 of them:^(. So, we have his neuropsychologist and chiropractor on his list. The chiropractor actually sensed Mite's intelligence the first days we met him when Mite was 6. Mite was looking at a stuffed horse that clicked and popped when you pushed on its spine and he lisped, "I'm going to name him 'Whiplath the Chiropractic Pony'. Get it? Whiplath becauth that'th what chiropractorth treat and whiplath becauth that'th what riderth do to hortheth." The chiropractor thought that was quite 'smart' and 'witty'.

It is strange who will sponsor and who won't. Teachers.....erg!!!