Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Question for those that have grade skipped

It seems to me that a big part of kindergarten experience is learning the "culture of school." This was brought up over and over as we advocated for our son to skip K. Our feeling was that he had already had the school culture experience in terms of K expectations at daycare. He'd already learned the rules of standing in line, waiting your turn, sitting quietly, circle time, stations for activities, etc, etc. Had he NOT been in full time daycare with that kind of routine since the age of 12 weeks old I'm not sure we would have been so sure about skipping K. No regrets at all though in terms of the skip.

Looking back, I don't think I would have tried to start him in K a year earlier. He needed that year of maturation. I suppose it depends on the school - class size, teachers, etc. If your child already has the idea of school down, then early entry to K would be easier, I think. But, if your child has never been in any type of formal educational setting then maybe waiting a year is better. Perhaps finding a more play and social oriented preschool program. My DD is 4 and turns 5 next August. Honestly, she is already mastering K stuff this year at daycare/preschool. But I can't imagine her in K this year.

This is what I am trying to figure out. I mean, five year olds are hardly models of maturity - so how do you know if your four year old is mature enough for kindergarten? She will miss the cut off by 4 months, so I sort of wonder how much less mature could she possibly be than the other kids... but dd3 is my first, so I don't really know ND kindergartner behavior. She goes to an extended day preschool now (8-2) so kindergarten would only be an hour longer... she was in daycare before that - so she is used to being away from home and away from mom. I look at the kindergartners and they just look so big -- but she has until next September to grow. I suppose my main concern would be that she is hardly an athlete... (what can I say, she takes after her parents) - so she can not hula a hula hoop, nor can she jump rope. Again, she does have almost a whole year, and I am not sure if other kids could do those things -- what if she is always the last kid picked for the team? That would be horrible. (Although, we could have the same problem if we kept her with her class)

Are these requirements for K? I can't do them either, and I passed K a long time ago!

I suspect girls have it a bit easier than boys on the athletics front. (Fairly or no!) I wouldn't think that should be a barrier to acceleration assuming she's not developmentally delayed in significant ways. Kids develop at all different rates, so she might not be the best athlete. But so what about that?

I would think that behavior and ability to sit still are much bigger concerns. If she's unable to listen and follow directions or incapable of sitting still for more than a minute, it could be a problem. But not being able use a hula hoop? I think she's on pretty solid ground on that one!

Mom123: you mentioned that the director of the school is against your daughter's early entry to K. Is he/she against all early entry? Will you have to advocate for early entry against school policy or is it allowed under policy and the director is just concerned about your child? Do you have to decide NOW about starting K next fall? We started advocating for our son's early entry to first grade in the spring (at kindergarten registration time) but he was registered to start K and then the decision to actually start him in first grade wasn't actually made until two weeks before school started.

I think it sounds like she is a good candidate for early K, especially being only 4 months young for the cutoff (my son is 6 months younger). Hula hoops and jump rope aren't prerequisities for kindergarten. I don't think most 6 year olds can do them at the END of kindergarten! (or some adults, like Kriston!)

What are the other options for next fall? Could she do another year of preschool and then go to first grade? Could she do a trial in the K program with the agreement that if it didn't work out after 8 weeks or so you could pull her out? There are many things to consider in the decision. I would encourage you to continue to think about it, let her grow and learn more this year and look at it again in about 6 months. And if she waits to start K at the usual time there is always opportunity to grade accelerate later. The decision you make next fall won't determine the full course of her education.

So just a bit of background - the school that she goes to now has a 2's, 3's, 4's and Kindy program. The nice thing about moving her to K here is that she gets to stay in a more nurturing preschool type environment while going to K - in addition, the K is very small -- only about 12 students in the class -- so there is less of a possibility she would get lost there and more of a possibility they might be able to meet her needs. However, the school is very anti-skipping and and very pro "these are our cut off dates and under no circumstances will they be changed" (strangely enough they are very much in favor of starting K late -- or as they like to put it, "giving your child the gift of an extra year") -- I do not believe they get too many requests to start K early. Nor do I think she has a concern for my child specifically - I don't think she really knows who my child is. But I am big into fighting senseless rules, so if I do come to the conclusion that starting early is right for my daughter, I would happily put up the fight. I do think that the final decision will not be made until later. But the contracts are due for her preschool/kindergarten December 1st (with a non-refundable $1,000 deposit), so we have to at least reserve a place for her somewhere. The reason why I decided to bring it up with the school at this point is because I wanted to make sure that I could sign her up for 4's, but retain the option of moving her to up to K later if we all agree that would be best (slots fill up fast here for both programs).... and if the school is absolutely adamant about her not moving to K there, I need to figure out if I would want to move her to K in the public school system, (which I am a bit more reluctant to do - and which would also likely be a bit of a battle) or put her in a private school somewhere else.. ugh makes my head spin.

I also would like to figure it out now (although, I do know it is very early) because I think there are things that we can do to ease the transition to K - perhaps I can do some play dates with some of the kids who will be in that class during the spring, so that she will have some familiar faces on day one...just one thought.

We certainly could send her to 4's then skip into 1st grade, but then she would have the stress of both the skip and all of the things that go along with starting elementary school (taking the bus, being in an unfamiliar environment, new kids etc..)If she could stay where she is and just do the kindy instead of the 4's, that would kind of be nice...

She reads at a second grade level (now) and has good math skills too - so even if we move her ahead one grade, that will not completely meet her intellectual needs -- but it will be marginally less ridiculous than putting her fours where she will be taught her letters and perhaps, some letter blends.

Thanks everyone for your comments, you are really helping me think this through.