Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums what about preschool?

Neato... thanks it really was until she decided it was "to dark for mommy's kid to be out." And therefore wanted to be picked up. LOL reminding me she is still just 2.

I totally agree with this...sometimes I forget that I agree with this though! Once in a while I find myself wishing she was older...saying "I can't wait until she is 3...4...5..." I know that childhood is so precious and so is my time with her. I know that in 10 years I would give anything to be able cuddle with my toddler again. I need to remind myself of this. So thank you all for reminding me.

I would love a regular break and that is what I was hoping preschool would give me. However, what did just cross my mind is that if she is ready to go to preschool (thus giving me that needed break) then she will be ready for me to leave her at the child care at the gym, or leave her easily (i.e. no whining/tears) with Daddy. So basically the conclusion I have come to is that I will get my regular break when she is ready to give it to me, whether she is in preschool or not...I think? The only thing that I thought of, is maybe she would get used to preschool, but me leaving her at random child care places, or rec centre programs might not go over as well?

Other than getting my break (greedy I know, but I have given up a lot for my baby...I want to slowly start taking care of my needs now too!), I don't see a lot of benifit from preschool for my daughter next Fall. She is young. She will still be 2 in the Fall.

Oh I don't know...as I write this I am second guessing myself! I think what makes it hard is that my neice (2 months older than my daughter) is enrolled in preschool for the fall and she is also extremely social with other kids. I just hope i am doing the right thing for my daughter!

Thanks for letting me ramble. It helps sometimes to just write without thinking too much and try and figure out what my heart is thinking!

LOL One-ly!

Isn't it nice to dream that your child is 'normally developing' and that the 'just right' program will convert her into someone who isn't 'high-need?'

You can wake up now.

My advice? Start with Daddy! You know that you have a clingy, needy, special needs kid on your hand when leaving the child with Daddy is so painful that you just 'forget' to ask for it, except in extreame need.

I can't say that all of these kids are special need in their own way, but mine was, and I think a large precent are. For my son,the metaphore was: it was as though he had a hearing problem, was surrounded by strange sounds, and clung to me because I was the only one who he could understand. I do remember going on a guided trolly ride through Key West, with him a toddler just next to me and DH. The loud speaker would squakily announce something about a house, and DS would start freaking out because he couldn't understand, and the only way I could get out of him causing a disruption on the train, was to whisper simultanious translation in his ear. This was noticibly difficult, as I was trying to understand the speaker at the same time. DS wouldn't have been put off by anything less than my best explaination of the words and everything that they refered too. DH felt like we were telling secrets about him, I would guess. I was miserable, but it showed me, in fast motion, what I had been doing all day long under less strenuous circumstances.

Anyway. You do need a break. What I did, and what I reccomend you do, is get Dad's agreement for you to be away on a regular basis, out of the house, every week for a few hours. Yoga, message and facial, reading books in the library, painting or pottery class, whatever you can afford, but do it! You first way out of this hole is getting her and Daddy tight.

I don't think the 'rec drop off' centers are going to be a good idea, but if you can find another Mom of a gifted or older kid who you can trade time off with, that might be a parrallel area to explore.

I know that just getting it off your own chest helps a lot. This is do-able, even though it's difficult. ((If you are still nursing, don't stop in hopes of greater freedom, plot for greater freedom.))

The problem with these kids is that things get tougher for the next few years, peaking around k-2nd grade. (In general) So unless the gifted preschool is filled with kids at the exact same 'readiness level' of learning that she is at, keep her nearby and build, build, build that relationship. You are going to be her oxygen line for a long long time.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Well, I really did mean that everyone is different! Don't let me or anybody else keep you from doing what is right for your family, which includes you, too! What you yourself need is also very important.

I think I mentioned earlier that I am old--we married relatively late, and then it took 12 years after we married to conceive the first time (with lots of boring appointments with fertility managers and so on--and in fact didn't get pregnant until after we'd given up on all of that process)--so I had a long, long time to have time for me, and so probably don't feel the same kind of need now to have regular breaks from my kids as a younger mother would. Plus I'm so childish anyway that I just really have a lot of fun with my little comedians!

You do what's best for you--and don't worry, nothing's written in stone. Changes can happen if they need to.

good luck
minnie

Sounds like pretty good advice from Grinity, as always.

Thank you for the replies. Tonight was interesting...dd asked for her Dadda to read her stories at bedtime. This was a first in about a year! I was really happy about it!!! Grinity, that is graet advice...thank you. I will work on dd's relationship with my husband. I think that is key right now. I would feel a lot better about everything if I felt I could leave her with him and she would be just as happy with him as she is with me. A big thing with our daughter is that I understand her completely...and no one else does. Iunderstand what she says and I understand what she is talking about. She will say something like "c--- likes the beautiful store with the wonderful colours" and I know she is telling me she likes ToysRUs. Dh would be wondering what the heck she is talking about and that would not be a good feeling for her. I know that just comes with spending time with her.

Anyhow...my thoughts tonight (like I said they seem to change regularly) are that our daughter will not attend any preschool next year. I will stay home with her again and we will do things together. I will look into Art Gallery classes, Conservatory of Music classes, we will use our museum membership...continue kindergym and look into other classes.

Thank you for pointing out that her near future may have struggles and that for now one option is to build our relationship and enjoy it. That is my theory that I am going by right now!

The preschool that we have to her name down for is not a gifted preschool. It is just a preschool that is attached to the private school that I was hoping she would go to. Of course I second guess that choice daily too! The city I live in has NO gifted schools at all. I am going to start another thread asking about school opinions.

Thank you all again. I am so thankful for this forum and for all of you!