Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Anxious anyone?

Thanks, we may try that. Oddly enough some people have bought him workbooks for presents and he barely touches them. I will ask him if he wants to do them sometimes and he says "no thanks" But I am sure he would get into it. If he sees me looking at it or opening it then he wants to do it. We do go to a couple museums fairly often. they don't have tons of programs. He also can't sit through a movie for the life of him. He watches a few tv shows that he likes...but he can sit through about 45 minutes of a movie and then he is done and not interested in watching the rest. Although I wonder if we haven't tried the right movies. Disney seems uninteresting to him so far. No zoos around, but we have been before. I don't even think like that though. We just went and looked at animals. Not sure if I know the different groups, LOL

Nope, it's very normal, in fact.

But a GT child IS going to have a gap there. It's practically a guarantee. And even if you completely ignored the child's need to learn, that gap would still be there--you'd just be more likely to have a child with a gap AND who doesn't know how to work for anything that doesn't come immediately. That isn't an improvement.

Realize that there is a difference between afterschooling--which should be fun for the child--and hothousing. It sounds to me that you're thinking of afterschooling more as hothousing, where it's parent-driven and "pushy." That's not what this is.

I think afterschooling is best used for kids who a) crave more challenging work, or b) are underachieving (usually due to a long-term lack of challenge in school) and need to be reminded what it's like to think.

In the latter case, the child might even say s/he doesn't want to be challenged, but the parent sees clearly the need. In that latter case, it's a dose of medicine to combat an unhealthy situation. Just as the child might not like the medicine but the parent gives it for the child's sake, so with afterschooling. Usually the child comes to enjoy it pretty quickly, too. Human beings in general like to accomplish things that are not easy. It boosts self-esteem in a very positive, healthy way. So even kids who start out resisting afterschooling tend to enjoy it after a time.

In your particular case, shellymos, I don't think afterschooling is necessary. Not yet. He's not in K yet, so what you're doing--following his lead, answering his questions, not formally teaching anything--is a great strategy! Not until he's in school would I suggest afterschooling to you. And then only if it seems like it would help combat some problems with boredom or poor work habits/ethic.

So my advice (not that you asked me... ) is to keep doing just what you're doing and don't bother with afterschooling until you see a need.

So my advice (not that you asked me... ) is to keep doing just what you're doing and don't bother with afterschooling until you see a need.[/quote]


I totally agree! I was just trying to put some suggestions out there. Most of what we do is in child led. My kids have shown an interest in something and we try to encourage and help them grow and see the possibilities. I started the Math stuff because my dd was interested in doing more and LOVES the workbooks. We have also done some "formal" science stuff which the kids think is a blast! We do it for playdates...erupt volcanoes, change the color of liquids by adding bases and acids. The kids don't always get it but they have tons of fun. Again I think Kriston's advice is perfect feed his curiosity by answering questions and having fun. He is still your baby and you can just enjoy him pure and simple!

If you can get hold of any of the David Attenborough BBC Life series DVDs, you might like to see whether your DS likes them. I bought them for myself but my DS then 4 was instantly hooked, although he doesn't have much interest in Disney etc. either. We all enjoy them, and there is a lot of biology in them, very clearly explained, with fantastic film footage. Makes for some peculiar imaginary play though (e.g. "Let's emit a pheromone that will be irresistible to beetles", or "You can be a marsh pitcher, and I'll be a Venus fly trap"!)

So true: some kids really do crave those workbooks! I know 'Neato's girls adore them, too.

Following your kid's lead is almost never a bad choice.

Yes yes yes!!! We LOVE David Attenborough and the PBS Nature series. It has provoked many interesting discussions and imaginary play scenarios in our house. My kids were also mesmerized starting at a young age....3 to 4. We don't let them watch "regular commercial" television with the exception of Grossology which is really cute btw.

We do let them watch HBO children's programming too. Crashbox, ISpy, ok and - George & Martha and Fairy Tales. Hey a kids gotta have some fun right?

Hi shellymos - I think our son's are similar ages (mine turns 5 in january and will start kindy next year too). I am going through another worrying phase, but i'm trying to stay optimistic. Our school district does have a gifted coordinator, and we are making plans to meet with her now, to give the heads up and to get help with teacher selection. Does your state have a gifted section in the dept of education? If yes, you can call there and they usually give you good advice about who to talk to at a school and when. Also, they might have the Iowa Acceleration Scale for you to borrow and use with the school for help in placement. Some schools around here start assigning kindergarten teachers in March, so we want to be in the loop before then.

As for workbooks, DS liked those a couple of years ago, but he's really not too interested. We have a couple singapore math books he likes every once in awhile, but mostly he just likes his books and legos and video games and playgrounds. We try to answer all his questions, but we're not doing anything formal for education either. I have given up on worrying about not teaching him anything - he's going to learn anyway, and i don't want him to think I don't know the answer or don't know where to look for them!

Thanks for your thoughts and advice. I am always open to advice, and love advice to keep doing what I am doing, lol I agree with the afterschooling and waiting until K. I do know that afterschooling would be a great thing eventually. We do little elements of it now if he asks, I just wasn't ready to do lessons. I didn't really think of it as hothousing at all...but more like "today we are going to learn about _______" and me as a parent deciding what that blank is. I know there will always be a gap...just wasn't sure if I wanted to go through teaching more before school and make the gap larger. He is currently in a pre-k program a few days a week for a couple hours. It is very small so they can provide 1:1 at times. I think his teacher has brought in some things that are challenging for him to work on. I am interested to see how this is working out. I think this is good and some ways for him to experience before K, especially because he needs to learn that sometimes you work on something even if you don't feel like it and even if there is something else you would rather be doing. that's part of life. He told me on the 3rd day that she brought in math equations and they made up equations for each of them to do. He seems to have learned fractions recently and I am not sure how since his teacher said she didn't teach him. He learns lots of things mysteriously.

Good thoughts. I have to say, about 85% of the time I tell myself "things will be fine, you never know how things will work out, he's a great kid and will be fine" etc. etc etc. I am constantly trying to stay positive about schooling. It is just that from time to time (like when I hear things from others, when he suddenly starts doing even more extraordinary things,when others question what we are going to do with him, and when I see what kids do in Kindergarten) I wonder what K is going to do with him. I know in my school here (we have 5 K's) they wouldn't do anything special. And this is a great school. They just haven't encountered children that LOG, and I would imagine that manys schools haven't. They have to teach at all the other child's level and don't have staff for individual work.

I am excited about getting some testing on him in the spring. I would like to learn more about him, how he thinks, and how he learns best. I want my DS to have a good start to school. His experiences so far have not been great. When he was 3 we took him out of a program after 4 months because they really didn't like him and found his behaviors challenging because he wouldn't sit nicely during circle time like the other students. This year he was already "kicked out" of his first pre-k this year after a month. He is now in the second and they think he is doing well. They enjoy him there and have started to provide more challenging things for him to do. He does test limits at times, but according to them not too different than the other kids. I still don't think he loves his pre-k that much, at times he says he doesn't like it..but other times he seems to enjoy going. His current pre-k said they can work with him but that sometimes he seems bored when they are addressing the whole class. They suggested montessori for the future because they can't see what a school would do with a child like him. That's honest, but a little discouraging to hear that from a teacher. I know transitions and disappointments are a part of life, but I just don't want him to have another one just yet. I just wish K could be great and he would love it. That is probably too much to ask, but that is my dream.

Well,,,,it is possible. Is anyone else a little skeptical of this claim?



They do! I don't know what it is about the workbooks, well, I think I do. They love putting a sticker on the page when they are done. But I also think it has to do with the fact that they are self learners, especially the older one.

I will say I have so followed their lead that we are running in to a wee problem in that the older one is very much resisting to be lead at school..........