Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Dr. Ruff, schools and help

Hi EastnWest -
You gave me my laugh for the day. I'm a bit past the 'parenting a Kindergardener' stage, but I don't imagine that most Kindys are teaching 3+3=6. Maybe counting to 10? Most kindy kids don't really 'get' what numbers are - which is why it's so cool that your son used the idea of 'half' (a fraction) and 3+3 together with the play. I'm not saying he's HG+ based on that, but I can say, fairly confidently, that Gifted Denial is blocking you from seeing what 'Average' for age 4 and 5 are.

Your school district may have what it teachers in the various years posted on it's website under 'Scope and Sequence' - Or you can chat up a Mom with a child in Kindy and get a look at the worksheets that get sent home - Or you can check the workbooks sold in your local bookstore - Or you can request a trip into the classroom to observe the Kindy and 1st grade classes. I reccomend 'All of the Above' LOL!

As for LOG, I think that the idea of LOG is important, but knowing ones child's exact LOG from reading a book isn't easy. I wish that I had the book in front of me, but I think that she based the discriptions on 200 kids - which is wonderful - but very different than if she had had 2000 kids to base her lovely numbers on.

Personally - I think of kids as:
MG - moderatly gifted, likely to enjoy that 90 minute a week pull out program and 'ok' with that and an afterschool or saturday enrichment class.
HG - bored silly by the pull out if with agemates, likely to get perfectionistic or act out if not intellectually challenged on a daily basis.
PG - Just plain does stuff that mostly everyone recognises as 'weirdly smart' from an early age.

Smiles,
Grinty

Hi Mewsie -
I really feel for you on this on - no wonder you are 2nd guessing yourself.
I agree with Dottie that public schools can be wonderful places for HG/PG kids - IF, and it's a rather large IF, the school comes through with REAL accomidations, such as your school did last year with the 'subject acceleration.' Ask Dottie how many full grade skips and subject accelerations her DS needed to get to a point where Public School is working for him? Sure it happens over time, but what I would be looking for at this meeting is something like -

Child was happy last year with 'going up for Math' and is sad this year with 'In Class Differentiation' - let's try having him go up for Math again, ok?

Best Wishes,
Grinity

my DS is 4yrs 5mnths.

I seem to do alot of afterschooling, though not through intent - DS just askes to do something. 'lets do maths' or 'lets do drawing'. he does about 1hr after school.

Thanks Grinity!

I guess I could use a K reality check. lol

I like your take on the LOGs. IDing PG is the least ambiguous.
But those other two!!

I should take yours, and Kriston's and everyone else's advice to stop worrying now about what he will be like when it is time for pull outs.

In the near term I will see if I can talk up a kindy mom or two, as well as follow-up on your other suggestions.

I had read the state standards months ago. Mathwise, he does already know most of what the expected by the end of K. ex. "Students understand and describe simple additions and subtractions: Use concrete objects to determine the answers to addition and subtraction problems (for two numbers that are each less than 10)"
He knows a few of the things from the 1st grade list.

Pretty funny that after all my reading I am still not sure what " a typical 4 year old knows". A visit to a trad. 4 year old classroom is probably the best thing I can do at this point to understand "how advanced is he". His teacher for the last 2 years told me that she knows he is advanced and it is "not just because of Montessori" She didn't use any GT language though. For that and other reasons I have doubts that she has any special insight into how he learns best or what motivates him.

I am looking forward to see what Mewz' next move is for getting her son's school to budge.

Hi Mewzard -

We were cross posting!

Does the hour after school help?

As far as giving the school a chance,
Is there an open house or some other event where you could get a better a sense of what is going on there? Could you volunteer inthe classroom or at the school?

EW

Mewzard: It doesn't really sound to me like the school is doing much for him. I think you have to either step up the advocacy and push (gently and politely, of course!) for more, or you need to try another educational option entirely. If he's moving toward depression, then I think this is a budding crisis (if not already a crisis), and you do have to act.

Some kids are very vocal and obvious that there's a poor school fit. My son was. But he's NOT an adapter in that regard. Adapters tend to turn their frustration inward, as your son is doing. Frankly, I think that's a lot worse because the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but an adapter gets ignored.

I would urge you to pick a course of action and hop on it. Quickly.

My $.02, worth less than half that...

We get a newsletter every week that has the 6 curriculum topics on it, and the activities they will be doing. Thats my wake up call every week...when i see in black and white what most kids would be learning this year. 2 examples;

'to be able to write name copying from a name card'
'use language like heavier/lighter/small/big'

I find it amusing too that for all my reading i know that he isn't average but i still won't believe it.

EW - I'd love to volunteer but i also have a nearly 2yr old DD and i have no one to watch her. I have a opportunity to go see his class tomorrow for 30mins (there is a book fair - i'm not sure why we have been invited to see them?). So i'm going to go.
The hour after school is ok, fun and he likes doing it. We have always done things like this so i'm not able to say that it makes a difference.

I think we should to try and advocate for him, if it doesn't work we i don't think we will try to put him in another school - we just plain wouldn't trust another one.

Now just to work out what he needs...

Mewzard -

To clarify, the period of possible depression was after the bad preschool experience right? Things are not as bad this time? (Or is it hard to say if he turning his frustration inward and shutting down.)

You are looking to "do something" before things get bad a second time, right?

It sounds like with your current info, you are not liking your options thus far. (homeschool or gently nudge a school not likely to be nudged) What other options are you considering?
We cross posted again! You're going with advocacy!

Keep us posted on how it goes at the book fair.

Kriston - your 2 cents is always valuable.

what do you think of