Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums And then there were two....

OK, so when my DD8 said "oh" at 7 weeks old (on video), and did all sorts of other things way too early for her age, I continually denied her giftedness, much to DH's dismay. Fast forward to this spring/summer: DD3, who was DD2.5 then, started writing all of our first names without us spelling them for her, writing the entire alphabet left to right all the same size, etc., and started saying "S-T-O-P, stop" when she saw a stop sign (not to mention advanced math). Still I denied it - even after DD8 was finally officially identified (we are now discussing a grade skip for DD8). That is, until last night.

Last night, our barely 3 DD went to pick up dinner with DH. She pointed to the word "salads" and said "salads daddy". When he told me that, I said she must have heard someone else say it or something and again thought to myself how sweet it is that he's so proud of them.

So how did I finally admit it? It was when DD3 herself told me about reading "salads" later, and then spelled "salads" from memory, and then said "see mommy, I told you I don't need to practice reading anymore" (when she wants to play scrabble with us, we tell her she can play as soon as she learns how to read). I didn't even know she knew the word practice! We have never said that to her; we have talked about learning to read, not practicing to read.

So now I need advice. DD3's b-day misses the Kindergarten cutoff by 25 days, meaning she will turn 6 two days after starting kindergarten unless we do something to get her started a year earlier. The policy in our district is completely age-based unless we send her to a private school for Kdgn a year early, in which case they would let her begin 1st grade in the public school the following year instead of Kdgn as planned. Should we go for it?

(I think I'm still in denial - part of me thinks I shouldn't even have to ask the question, but I feel compelled to do so anyway...)

We were in the same boat, but our school district told us that ds would not be able to attend private kindy and "skip" into first grade. They would send him back to repeat kindergarten, despite the fact that he was advanced across the board. That set us on the road to homeschooling, an option which is still working beautifully for us eight years later.

I think schools need to become more flexible, or they risk losing more of the best students.

So much depends on a kid's personality and the personality of the school. Our DS is the oldest kid in his grade; he missed the cut-off by only a few days. But the private K options were unacceptable to us and I kinda wanted another year of him at home and at a pre-school he loved. Even though he was waaaay ahead of anyone else in the K class academically, he was also more mature, had more impulse control, and was better able to advocate for himself. He is in 7th now, has great confidence and is really a natural leader, has no trouble with bullies, and gets all his accomdations by negotiating for them himself.

If we had gone the early K route, I would have missed that extra year with him at home before he went to school and for him, I think being older and more mature has made the advocacy and negotiating for differentiation easier.

I think a lot of the decision may have to do, not with what they are able to do academically, but how much are they ready for the school atomosphere. Since she is only 3 now,you have some time to see how it all pans out.

Wow - sounds like it was definitely meant to be for your DD Dottie! I wish I had height issues to deal with. I'm 5'2", so I am actually worried about doing a grade skip for DD8 due to her being so petite. I'm hoping it matters more for boys. Thanks!

I think Dottie and I are in agreement that it *can* work either way depending on your situation. You just have to look at your own cirmustances. Learn from the rest of, sure, but don't assume that just because another path was right for someone else that it is necessarily your path as well.

It took me till my younger son started reading at the age of 2 to admit that the kid was gt. I still don't think he is as gt as his older brother. Time will tell on that one.

Starting K early in a private school is quite common here. I've heard/known about quite a few kids whose parents went that road. It sounds like a great idea for your DD.

I'm confused.

Why are you in denial about your children's obviously advanced mental abilities? Would you respond the same way if they were at the other end of the spectrum?

Does the private KG allow potential students to visit for one or a few days? Does it have some kind of transition program for potential new students? If yes, then have your child "try it out." That will give you some solid information about how well the program will work for your child.

Also, remember that pretty much any decision can be changed. It's not all or nothing.

Good question. I think there are several reasons I'm in denial. I am starting to think that I hid my giftedness to fit in growing up.

Also, DH and I are realizing that all of our friends are gifted, along with their children. Therefore, my only comparisons were kids like my children, so until her gifted teacher tested her in April, I truly thought DD8 was a bit gifted, but mostly like everyone else. I didn't even know that there were LOG.

And now that we're having issues at her school and the principal keeps implying that DD8 isn't that smart (she's one of the GT who doesn't care about grades and refuses to do the easy work), it's not helping me accept what is happening. When I was told of her IQ score, I cried - is that normal? Don't get me wrong, I realize it's a lot better than many alternatives.

I haven't even checked into private KGs nearby yet. My post was more about whether she really is that advanced. I don't have any frame of reference, and I don't want to push her. But I would think that they would allow a visit, etc.

Thanks for reminding me that no decisions have to be final.

No, I don't think that's wrong. I'm sure a lot of us can relate to that. The day we received DD6's score, I could not sleep that night.

Everyone starts the journey somewhere. Take your time and you'll figure this stuff out at your own pace and when it's relevant.

We are having an issue with our DD6 also who hides her intelligence at school. They have absolutely no idea how smart she is. We're not sure if it's maturity, or not wanting to "brag" or something else. We don't know if she will grow out of it or not.

Each child is diffent and you just make the best decisions that you can at the time.

Agreed. I think most of what you describe there is pretty common, WBGTE. I know we had the same problem with underestimating DS7's LOG because most of the people we know are MG or above. I thought he was MG, most of the kids in his playgroup were ND, and there were one or two who were "a bit slow." As it happened, DS was HG+, the majority of the kids were MG-HG, and the "slow" kids were ND. Oops!

When I got my wake-up call, I was looking at his out-of-level achievement test scores, and they were 1-2 SDs higher than I expected them to be. So I had a moment of "Wow! Yippee! " followed by a moment of "Holy %$#&! Now what?!? " The GT coordinator was talking to me, but I didn't hear a word she said. She sounded like the teacher in "Peanuts." I was too freaked out for anything else to register! No tears, but lots of mixed emotions!

My advice: wait until she a bit older and have her tested. If her maturity level, your gut and the test results make you think that she's ready for early K, then go for it!