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    Joined: Aug 2008
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    CAMom Offline OP
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    Backstory- DS is at a Pre-K through 12th private school that touts being for gifted, advanced and college prep kids. We specifically selected this school because our local district is poor, their GATE program is corrupt and they have no "specials". DS is in Kindergarten now and gets Spanish, Music, PE and Art every day taught by specialists in those areas.

    We had him tested because last year in play-based PK, his teachers hinted that they believed he might be ADHD. We knew this wasn't true but figured if we'd heard it once, we'd get it again. So over the summer he took the SB-V and tested HG+ which fit more of how we see him at home.

    I met with his K teacher a week ago and talked to her about the results and what we thought DS would benefit from in the morning. She actually said "Are you sure he's not ADHD? Have you gotten a 2nd opinion?" Ugh. Yes. And we're sure.

    Her essential message was that in K they start all kids in the same place. It doesn't matter to her that he reads at a 2nd grade level, self-taught addition and subtraction and met all the K standards 2 years ago. He must have "gaps in there somewhere" and it's "her job to fill them in."

    DS is asking me to drop him off at school after the stations in the morning. He's tired of sorting pasta noodles, writing "go" over and over and talking about colors. But he LOVES the afternoon classes and all his friends. He's very happy, minus the 2 hours of "baby work" in the mornings.

    Is it time to take it to the Principal? Our ed.psych who tested DS also said she'd be happy to do a classroom observation then meet with the teacher privately to explain some of his ADHD-like behaviors. What's the better option? When do we escalate the issue?

    All advice appreciated here, I'm about to pull my hair out!

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    A) How quickly could the ed psych get into the classroom?

    B) Do you even want him in K? Is this something that could be solved in the K room?

    Collective experience says that most teachers are good at differentiating if the gap between your kid and the average classmate is 2 gradelevels or less.

    LOL - *not* if the gap between your like and the next brightest kid is 2 gradelevels!

    Anyway, please don't pull your hair out - ((offers a virtual chew toy instead)) - I'm guessing your ed. psy warned you about this, yes?

    Love and More Love,
    Grinity


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    Val Offline
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    Originally Posted by CAMom
    Her essential message was that in K they start all kids in the same place. It doesn't matter to her that he reads at a 2nd grade level, self-taught addition and subtraction and met all the K standards 2 years ago. He must have "gaps in there somewhere" and it's "her job to fill them in."

    If this school touts itself as being for gifted students, the principal at a minimum should understand the needs of this group. That said, not all schools making this claim really are aimed at gifted kids.

    I'm not convinced about this "filling the gaps" argument. If your son mastered K level stuff by the time he was 4, it seems very likely that he'll auto-fill any "gaps" himself by osmosis. Puh-lease!

    A teacher in my DS8's kindergarten asked about ADHD. I casually asked where she got her medical degree and she never brought up the subject again.

    My suggestion: write a letter to the principal and the K teacher (don't talk, WRITE). Enclose a copy of your son's SB-V results and a BRIEF bullet-pointed list of his current skill set (I've learned that too much information can hurt your case).

    * Reads Grade 2-level chapter books ("Title," "Title")

    * Self-taught addition (attach brief examples of work already done)

    * Self-taught subtraction (attach brief examples of work already done)

    Then ask what they're going to do. ("We're so happy we found a school for gifted children, and we know you'll be able to help DS6 do challenging work ...").

    I'm an advocate of writing a letter because it forces the school to deal with exactly the issues you raise. They can easily sidestep your questions (as the K teacher seems to have done) when you communicate verbally. And verbal communication doesn't leave a record like paper does.

    Val



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    Originally Posted by Grinity
    Collective experience says that most teachers are good at differentiating if the gap between your kid and the average classmate is 2 gradelevels or less.

    So in your experience, teachers have introduced material a couple of years beyond grade level? (I'm sssuming the average child is at grade level). Did the teachers differentiate that much on their own, or in response to advocacy?

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    CAMom Offline OP
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    Grinity-
    A) How quickly could the ed psych get into the classroom?

    She can come next week. It'll cost us, but it might be worth it if she can get an inroad with the teacher.

    B) Do you even want him in K? Is this something that could be solved in the K room?

    He's enjoying K a lot for all the fluff time. He's also already young for his class- the school has a 5 by August 1st cutoff and half of his class is either already 6 or turning 6 in the next two months. He turned 5 in April. It'd be hard to put him straight into 1st because he'd be 2 years younger than most of the kids and he has a well established group of friends in K. But he may be open to the idea. Our public school district recommended skipping K and 1st and putting him straight into 2nd. But I strongly believe they wanted his test scores to meet their goals this year and not because it was in his best interest.


    Ideally, I'd like him in 1st grade in the morning and K in the afternoon. He's easily able to fit in with older kids academically, has bonded with one of the 1st grade teachers who was a specialty camp teacher over the summer and could fit nicely into their curriculum. The 1st grade teachers are excellent at differentiation and I've observed them stretch as far as 3/4th grade math on an individual level.

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    Has the teacher seen the psychologist report? It may be time to show it to her since she hinted ADHD again. It's one thing you saying that he is not ADHD and another reading a report which shows that your child is HG+. Having the psych observe the classroom is a great idea especially. A report explaining that your son is bored to death and therefor acts out or whatever it is that bothers them and a list of things how to help him could make a huge difference. I would try this before talking to the principal.


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    CAMom Offline OP
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    Yep, the teacher has a copy of the report. That was she asked if we had a second opinion!

    I've been wavering between the psych observation and the principal... I change my mind every day, depending on how nice the teacher is to me in the morning!

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    Originally Posted by CAMom
    Ideally, I'd like him in 1st grade in the morning and K in the afternoon. He's easily able to fit in with older kids academically, has bonded with one of the 1st grade teachers who was a specialty camp teacher over the summer and could fit nicely into their curriculum. The 1st grade teachers are excellent at differentiation and I've observed them stretch as far as 3/4th grade math on an individual level.

    Ok, in that case, save your money and to directly to the Principal, as Val suggested, in writing, and then suggest the solution verbally at the meeting that they set up after they check into your claims.

    Your 1st/K solution seems very reasonable, for now, given that your son is still physically so young - why should he have to 'sit still' for a whole day this year?

    If you want to look at it from a social point of view, he's best off moving to a full day of 1st, so he can have a 'home base' and be 'regular.' Most likely he will miss his K friends, but the sooner he has a chance to make friends in the 1st grade class, the longer he gets to enjoy them.

    I'm glad to hear that your school is exception to the differentiation guideline, good for you! However, why not put him in 1st so he can do his 3rd grade Math with a few others who are also ready, compared to keeping him in K, and ensuring that he works alone?

    I don't really follow the logic of thinking that your public school wanted to place him in 2nd for his test scores. Is the current 2nd grade class particularly weak? Usually the schools DON'T want to offer any acceleration so they can be assured of the high test score in K or 1st.

    My hunch is that it's a lot for you to swallow that your dear 5 year old would make friends and be o.k. in a roomful of 8 year olds. And why not. You probably were a sane person some time long ago before becoming a parent. ((Humor alert))Who could imagine such a thing?

    I can tell you that if being with 8 year olds is were he needs to be, better to start that sooner, rather than later.

    Some parents are ok with the 5 amoung 8s, but blanch at the thought of 10 amoung 13s. Truth is that none of us has a crystal ball to see in the future if thier own actual 10 year old would be best off with 10s,11s, 12s, or 13s. The best indicator you have now is to try to set up a few playdates with bright 1st and 2nd grade boys and see if they hit it off.

    DS12 was with kids last year that ranged from 6 months to 30 months older. ((One official gradeskip, Summer Birthday, and Redshirting)) Of course, he was the friendliest with the kid who was 30 months older. ((shrug)) Social stuff is really hard to predict...

    Bottom Line: Since you are looking for a solution that involves two classrooms, it's time to bring in the Principal. Be sure to stress the emotional effect that 'K academics' is having on your child, so you don't look like a 'nutter.' If a phone call won't get you a meeting with the Principal within 2 days, send a written letter (not an email.)

    Best wishes,
    Grinity


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    CAMom Offline OP
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    Originally Posted by Grinity
    [quote=CAMom]
    I don't really follow the logic of thinking that your public school wanted to place him in 2nd for his test scores. Is the current 2nd grade class particularly weak? Usually the schools DON'T want to offer any acceleration so they can be assured of the high test score in K or 1st.

    Best wishes,
    Grinity

    Grinity-
    Thank you so much for your thoughtful and detailed post.I don't have too much of a hard time imagining him in with 8 year olds actually. His friends at home are 7 and 8 year olds in the neighborhood. He's always seemed wiser for his age. But as those kids get older, they are beginning to reject him because he just can't keep up with them physically. They're learning to skateboard, my little guy can't even ride a bike with training wheels. I worry how he'd stick out in school outside the classroom. He's also behind his age-peers in fine motor skills so that would be an added struggle for him. Does that make sense?


    As to the above quote- our home district is on a state watch-list for improvement. They only begin testing in 2nd grade and this particular school needs to gain 10 points this year alone. At last observation, 1/3 of the class did not speak English. It's a terrible fit for my son but that also hopefully helps explain my logic!

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    CAMom,
    thanks for opening my eyes! Wow there is so much I don't know about public schools - thank you.

    Sad about the neighbor boys, but still, I think that there is a good chance that the 8's at the gifted private school will want to play less physical games and your DS5 might really enjoy them.

    But I do agree that having to peg together a 'least worst alternative' setting leaves a lot to be desired.

    My DS12 wasn't riding without training wheels until age 9. What helped the most was a Razor scooter that one of his agemate-friends got him for his birthday the year before.

    Also for fine motor - I'm not sure if 5 is just plain too young, but sooner or later solving Rubix Cubes for speed is great for small motor.

    Love and More Love,
    Grinity


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