Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums 2 year old gifted?

Hi! My name is Jessica and I am a SAHM of a 26 month old boy. I am not really sure that I belong here, but I am in need of someone to talk to. I feel like I can't ask my friends questions about thier kids, because it causes too much tension. This is my son in a nut shell...

Hit all milestones very early.
smiled and cooed at 2 weeks
Found foot at 2 months
Held rattle at 2 months
Rolled over both directions at 3 months
Sat unsupported at 5 1/2 months
Crawled at 6 months
Threw ball overhand at 9 months
First steps at 9 1/2 months
Was running by 11 months
Pretended to feed stuffed animals at 14 months
Asked what's this (then shortened it to just this?)and wanted an answer from 15-19 months
Didn't really talk too much (except for when he wanted and very few words) until he turned two
One months after he turned 2 he was up to over 250 words that I could understand. Saying 2 and 3 words often. Sometimes saying 4 or 5 word phrases.
I believe he can identify a ton of letters...upper and lower case (but not sure exactly what as if I ask him he won't tell me), but I have caught him flipping over the number 3 and saying E. And flipping the letter P over and saying d. I know he knows upper case D,O,N,C,Q,L for sure casue that is what I was able to get out of him. And I am pretty sure he knows way more then that. He will actually physically count items, but yet doesn't know how to say them all. So, he will usually say two, two, two, three. I believe he knows all of his basic colors including black. He for sure knows what a circle is. And will tell you watch...circle, moon...circle, ect. And I know he knows the star shape. As for the others...not exactly sure, because he is so stubborn. He understand emotions...sad, scared, and silly. At 14 months old he was watching Monsters Inc and the little girl was screaming and his lower lip came out and was extremly sad. I thought it was a fluke, but he has done it since with anything that is sad. He now will tell me what is going to happen in a movie before it happens or with only hearing the music coming from another room. His interaction with children his own age or lower is horrible. He will interact and share all day long with a 6 year old. His imaginative play is ridiculous! He pretends the couch is a piano, the arm of the couch a cash register and will swipe a card on the stiching, he pretend he is wearing a tool belt and will grab imaginary tools out and do the task of the one he pretended to grab. His memory is really good. I asked him to tell his papa about how he painted that day. He told him...paint, brush, walls, and tape (for the painters tape). He has been obsessed with the computer since before he could walk. When he crawled, he crawled straight for the remote. He knew how to work a DVD player without us ever doing it in front of him. He has known how to work anyones digital camera since he was 15 months. He properly understand how to use a computer mouse and has known how since he ws 18 months. He was able to crack and separate an egg by himself without me telling him what to do since 20 months old (the first time I let him). His love for cooking is high! He loves all animals and has known all the sounds of the basic animals since 18 months. When I buy him a wooden puzzle, I give it to him and he does it in less then a minute and will never play with again. He can do one of those basic 9 piece puzzles with the object under it (if you understand...not sure what they are called). He also just painted an object with just a little out of the lines (I have never told him to do that...he was at the table by himself and just did it). he also has a great sense of humor!!! Laughing at the tv maybe around 18 months.

These are some of the problems we have with him...
head banger from 6 months to 15 months (only when angry)
extreme tantrums
sleeps very little, like 9 or 10 hours (sometimes 6.5 if he has been over stimulated)
when he is sleeping he has vivid dreams and will wake up telling me while he is screaming
picky eater (never ate baby food)
refuses to wear clothes
refuses to brush teeth
will not ever become on any type of routine
lines items
constant need of my attention 24/7

We thought he had a speech problem since he wasn't saying anything on a regular basis, so we got an evaluation done on him. He was slightly below normal. But, they also did an OT evaluation and determined he had sensory processing disorder. All of his doctors keep leaning toward autism, b/c all of the major problems started at 15 months old (which happened to be after a bad car accident we were both in). He was evaluated by 2 OT's and they both said he is not autistic. And if he were...very low end. I always thought he was injured in the accident and the doctors did nothing to check (which is changing now) to make sure. But, after reading the info on some sensory processing sites, I now wonder if he is gifted. I would say all of the characteristics are there, but I am not sure. He has never been a "normal child". I am wondering if any of you have seen your children go through the things I have. I have not been around a lot of children through my life and really don't know what is normal or not.

Please I am in need of some real people that have gone through gifted infants and babies to tell me their opinions. I am exhausted from lack of sleep (I have gotten woken up for an entire year 3-20 times a night)and I am so tired of talking to doctors.

BTW...sorry for all the errors in this as I need to go to sleep since my son woke up at 3am and he has now just fallen asleep. Thanks for all the help!

For an idea of some early behaviors that are common in gifted kids, take a look at this article:

http://www.educationaloptions.com/levels_giftedness.htm

I sympathize with you on the sleep issue! That was a challenge at our house at that age, but things are pretty good now.

Thanks for the website! It gave very useful information, not like some sites I have seen. I guess it is hard for me to really judge him since he won't really tell me what he knows and I have to watch for everything when he isn't paying attention.

He sounds pretty gifted to me, but I know some of what you describe is less exciting and more worry-making.

We were pretty worn out by our ds around that age too.
It was just incredible if I got 8 hours of sleep because it just didn't happen. Things were especially bad if we hadn't made a point of wearing him out with physical exercise - just trips to the park, trips to the mall to run around in one of those play areas, etc.
When he started preschool that was a bit better and then even better when we signed him up for sports.
Both of my children exhibit some of the more worrisome behaviors you list, but neither are autistic, although some strangers have asked about my ds! My dd is the head banger, but this just recently started. I think she knows it freaked me out very badly the first time she did it, so now she pulls it out of her 'bag of tricks' from time to time.

That may be one of the biggest tools to add to your parenting skills: poker face! Really I think these children realize more quickly what are the buttons to push and enjoy/need the attention (sometimes, I know it depends on the child) and they know how to push those buttons more effectively.
For instance - deal with the toothbrushing in a calm but firm manner. Get it done; this goes better if there is a second adult available, one holding the child gently and one brushing, but over the course of a few nights you will probably notice better compliance. You are in charge!

Well, I am definitely no expert. I've only been on this Gifted child road for the 2 years 9 months we've had my daughter. She too did EVERYTHING early. She has always gotten along only with kids older than her and has a fascination with academics. She's stubborn too but not about academics... i think she's shown us what she knows for the most part (but then how would I know?) :-) My 10 month old seems to be gifted too.. we're still figuring him out. He's a very early talker at least.
Anyway, all this to say: I don't have a ton of experience but it sounds to me like giftedness might be what you are dealing with. Refusing to do certain things like brush teeth and other routines could just be going through that INDEPENDANCE phase that most see at like 2-3 years old... but with gifted kids all that comes early and is often quite intense. Most of what you describe does sound at least advanced to me. And that can be hard to sort through.
Be patient, be firm. Since he does understand so much (emotion etc...) for his age don't be afraid to have slightly higher expectations of him. I got a lot of dirty looks for being "strict" with my daughter at a young age but I just tell people "I only expect from her what she has already shown me she can handle". That usually shuts them up. It's not the case for all gifted kids but in our case DD is socially advanced along with her giftedness... so holding her to a higher standard of behavior (of say a 4-5yo when she's not even 3) IS something she can handle and will only make her stronger and a more patient, well-behaved little person. And patience is something they'll always need because they're little brains go faster and deeper than most people around them and patience is key.
Good luck!

There is nothing wrong with yours!!

If you read through the first posts of many on here you will see why.

Sounds like my son - 7m3w. My DW and I alternate nights so we each get a full night's sleep. Beyond that, we just take each day as it comes.

I would go get Ruf's book and Gross' book.


http://www.amazon.com/Exceptionally...mp;s=books&qid=1221082888&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/Losing-Our-Mi...mp;s=books&qid=1221082906&sr=1-2

Thank you all of the advice. I believe the whole toothbrushing is a control thing for him. He is a HUGE control freak. I always let him do it first and then I have to go over it. I do have to say that it has gotten much better. But, I did have to put him in head locks to get the job done for about 4 months. And let me tell you he screamed bloody murder the whole time. As for physical excercise...today he was going all day long. We even took a walk to the park and back and I made him walk the whole way. Which is far for a 26 month old. He came home and was still going. It seems like he can't get enough of anything. Always learning, exploring, ect.

Sorry to hear about your daughter banging her head. I know how that goes. My son would do it on the ceramic tile!!!! How I believed he would have a dent in his head!!!!! Thank goodness he doesn't do it anymore. I will catch him lightly banging his head on my leg here and there, but I have been told that he may be doing it to calm his senses since he has Sensory Processing Disorder.

I have always wondered if he doesn't want to co-operate with me b/c he is bored. Just not sure. I hate to push him onto something harder and him not ready. I guess I will just have to wait and see how things go.

I feel like I have been fighting with him since he was 6 months. NO JOKE!!!!! I would tell him "no, do not go behind the entertainment center and pull at the cord". I would take him away and give him a toy and you could see the intensity in his eyes that he was headed back to the cord before you put him down. And sure enough...I would do this over and over and he would just start to scream bloody murder. Same with cabinets. We had to child proof them at 6 months...the day he started to crawl.

I would say I do treat him as an older child most of the time. But, he doesn't by any means listen to no, unless he understands why. It drives me insane. I just want to be able to say no and he listen!!!!!! Most people would see him and say he is badly behaved. But, it wasn't my parenting style...TRUST ME on that!!!! We started time-outs at 1 year old and needed to start earlier than that. It worked for a little while and he would actually go there himself. Then...ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Time-outs no longer worked. I did the repeating, repeating, and repeating. Let's just say it made life horrible. He would get out of time-out and go back to what he was doing to be put in there. He would be in timeout all day long. And the entire time screaming. Got to a point where I had to literally bear hug him while being in timeout. All the time he was kicking and hitting me. Let's just say we do not do time-out anymore. It was a very long year of going no where. Now, I do more explaining and it seems to work. Or if say he made a mess on purpose, he has to clean it. Or I make him stand there and watch me do it. And the whole time he is extremly sad. So, it looks like I found a winner for now. LOL!!!

Thanks for the books Austin! I just purchased three today online. One of whiched you suggested. As for the other...I could not bring myself to spend that kind of money on a book! LOL!!!

Except for the head banging.... he sound like my ds7 at that age.

I didn't sleep for his first 2 years... he has "night terrors" until he was 11 months.

I couldn't take him into public places for about 6 months because it was like letting a monkey lose in a china shop. one women watched him in a store one day when I had to go out and remark, "Wow, he's like having triples." And if I tried to stop him he would scream blue murder.

I finally came up with the sac of potatoes trick.... he would start to tantrum and I said calmly,"Stop it or I carry you out of here like a sack of potatoes." He didn't stop I picked him up threw him onto my shoulder (gently of course) and carried him out. It worked eventully. and it even worked in the house, "I'll sack of potato you to time out if you don't pull it together" and if he didn't I sacked him to the time out and stood there holding him in the time out. The big part of this, you have to be calm and matter of fact.

Once he started sleeping through the night, thing got a whole lot better. I was never able to get him put himself to sleep and still sing him to sleep every night. Make a bedtime route bath pj's bed story song snuggle till he is sleeping. Hopefully he will be like my ds7 and his behaviors will change.

I just wanted to add... I also gave him small victoies... like I would let him decide what clothes to wear, what plate he would use... I made him make a lot of small decesions about minor stuff. That wore him out, and after a while he started saying, i don't care you decide