Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion School meeting-what should I expect???

I have finally spoken with someone at the school board who is going to contact all parties and set up our very 1st meeting regarding my suspicions that ds6 is gifted.

My son goes to private school. This person will send a letter to his teacher & a board member & we will all get together so I can make my case. If I convince them, he will be able to take "the test" so I can have confirmation that I am not crazy.

Should I bring in some of his work as well as make notes about his last 6 years as I recall amazing little things he did?? Like, he started writing words with no encouragement from me, at 3? As well as reading at 3? Knew his alphebet at 18 months? Walked at 7 months? Are these the things they want?

He is a big writer. I have nearly 50 books that he has written & illustrated over the past 2 years. One is 39 pages, the rest are 3-10 pages.

He also came in 1st place in math bee, spelling bee, bible bee(private school) & science fair in kindergarten last year.

Any advice about what to bring and what the tone of these meetings are is greatly appreciated!! Thanks!

Jen

What I've done in the past is to be prepared with a portfolio of work that included dated material (we started dating DS's writings when we thought that he might be a bit advanced). I didn't always use it, but it was there in case we needed it.

I'd also print out articles that I thought were relevant to the meeting. In our case we were advocating for early admissions (essentially a skip of K) so I was prepared with articles about how socialization is not as big of a concern as most people think.

And finally, we did have a psychology's report that we obtained privately. But our situation was a little different.

So bring with you things you've tucked away. Depending on where the conversation goes, you can decided to show your DS's work. A lot of it depends on what you want to get out of the meeting. Are you just trying to get the school to acknowledge that he's gifted, or are you advocating for something else (subject skip, etc.).

Good luck.

JB

Thanks. I do not want to skip a grade. I spoke with the principal over the summer & he gave me examples of how it can be detrimental. Every child is different, so many kids can benefit, but I don't think it is needed for my ds6.

(There was a whole big discussion about that here a few months ago, which was quite interesting.)

My goal is to have the proof to show his teachers as years go by. I don't want them thinking I am just "one of those moms" who think she has the smartest child ever. There are alot of other issues that go along with gifted children. They are "special needs" children. These are the things I want his teachers to be aware of.

His school is good about pulling kids out of class & putting them in higher grade levels for different subjects. Ds6 was in 2nd gr. reading in kindergarten & 1st grade math, but still in class with his peers for the rest of the day. It worked out well.

I want the school to know that I am aware of his talents and troubles & that I am going to be involved & monitoring everything closely.

His school is small...about 400 from k-5 - 12th. He has 12 kids in his class & 2 teachers, so I am comfortable with the attention he gets. I want them to pay attention & know that if he does poorly on a test, it is because he is bored & needs to be challenged.

When he fails at something the 1st try, he is likely to avoid trying it again. I want to make sure he gets that extra push from his teachers & that I am kept in the loop.

Good Luck with the meeting. Sounds like the portfolio is a good idea. Sounds like the school is flexible with subject placement - which is great!

Enjoy!
Grinity

What were the principal's examples of skips being detrimental? I'm curious.

Did you read "A Nation Deceived," too? Since that's research-based, I tend to have more faith in it than in what "people" say, even when the "people" is a principal.

It doesn't mean you should skip--we didn't!--but I do think you ought to get the other side of the story before you make that choice.

Skipping can be detrimental, of course, since no educational solution has a 100% success rate and, as you note, different kids are different. But NOT skipping can be detrimental, too.

As for the meeting, I'd bring in more than you need and then be VERY selective about what you show them. If you have anything in writing (like a baby book) that can document the dates when advances occurred, it might mean more than just your word. (And yes, I know that the baby book is just your word, too, but that's how people think...)

Personally, I'd hold that early stuff in reserve and focus on the curriculum and how much of it he's mastered already, before he has even been in the class. That tends to be what schools care about. The average 1st grader can walk and write (more or less) by the time he gets to 1st grade, so I suspect that sort of detail won't sway the school as much as "He can already do everything in the 1st and second grade curriculum" will sway them!

The principal gave me examples of other students throughout the years who they skipped & may have been academicly ready, but not socially ready. He pointed out that SOME of the students didn't fit in with their classmates because they were older & also didn't fit in with their own age group because they were not in the classroom with them. Now, he pointed out that this is not always the case. That sometimes, kids made the transition easily & it worked out great for everyone. But, he didn't think it was necessary to take that chance since we would be able to pull my son out of class just for certain subjects & move him into a higher grade for that hour & then send him back to his class.

I was satisfied with this suggestion. He did leave it up to me & I chose not to skip. But, I reserve my right to change my mind in the future!!

My son doesn't do well with change. He likes to know what to expect, he likes order. At the young age of 6, I made the choice that it would be difficult for him emotionally to leave his classmates. He has grown close to them over the last year. I want to see how he does on this test & see how things go at school this year before I turn his world upside down by putting him in a new class.

(plus, I LOVE this 1st gr teacher! The 2nd gr teacher, I am not so crazy about. If I decide to skip him, it would be 2nd gr.)

Will the pulling out and putting back in be hard on him? I know that sometimes kids who have trouble with change can balk at it. It's not a very orderly way to spend the day. Plus it's an everyday sort of change, and for kids who don't transition well, it can be a lot to handle day-in and day-out. Just something else to consider... (As if you don't already have enough!)

*Please* don't think I oppose subject acceleration. I think it is a GREAT option! One of the best, actually! But based on what you've said about your particular child, I can see some potential problems to watch for in your case. I think you want to be prepared.

Personally, I think that keeping a kid with a good teacher is one of the very BEST reasons not to skip! A good teacher is worth her/his weight in gold!

But I still think that if you haven't taken at least a quick look at "A Nation Deceived," you should. Maybe you don't need it now, but I suspect it might be useful to you later. My $.02...worth about half that!

Kriston,

I come to this sight to hear all the differing opinions & come up with what works best for my situation. ALL advice is greaatly appreciated & considered.

I have barely gotten my feet wet in this arena & I have alot to learn. I love reading up on this topic & will absolutely read the book you suggested.

And, you gave me something to think about with regard to pulling him in & out of class each day. I did not consider that. I have a year to decide, since I want him with this teacher for 1st grade. Thanks for pointing that out.

Jen

Hi Jen,
My son found that the 'splash' of subject accelerations was too much for him, that he prefers full grade skips for that reason. I am glad that your son has friends he is close to - that's wonderful. But if you take the position (and you might not) that he will actually need a grade skip later, isn't it better to get it over with when he is young, so he has time to speed up his maturity clock?

Finally there is the question of kids who are ready academically but not socially. In my opinion, not accomidating them academically is just not an answer, although in your situation the subject accelerations might work perfectly. What I love about your situation is that he can subject accelerate as needed all the way up to 12th grade! That's amazing. What I fear about your situation is that an unsympathetic teacher can sabotage the whole thing, and with subject accelerations you are always vulnerable.

Some kids need both a grade skip AND subject accelerations!

I do agree that a terrific teacher trumps almost everything else.

Smiles,
Grinity

Thank you. I am seriously considering re-considering my position. Although a 1st gr skip is not an option, I will consider a 2nd grade skip. I will think about all the pros & cons.

You have all brought up great points!! Thanks!!!