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Joined: Feb 2025
Posts: 16 Likes: 2
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Joined: Feb 2025
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I would mentally separate all his skills and take an inventory. Reading writing spelling math social skills speech general self confidence, self care, organization, independence… anything you can think is important for school. Are all of those skills one year or more advanced?
My kid is super advanced in certain subjects but also has lagging skills that need time to develop. So I never have asked for grade skip and school has not suggested it. I’ve asked for single subject advancement in elementary but they said one grade level bump doesn’t even do him any service because he’s several years advanced and there’s no prebuilt path to do that. (For example, you can’t take 6th grade math in 4th grade b/c 6th grade math is taught in another building. Also a super advanced 4th grade reader doesn't necessarily want to read what’s socially/emotionally appropriate for high schoolers.)
He will get math acceleration in middle school, but there’s a track to do that that’s prebuilt. with that, he’ll end up in college math classes mid high school. Skills wise that seems fine, but there’s a lot to manage logistically - different expectations, different location or online, managing 2 school systems simultaneously, exam timing, etc. That’s a lot to ask of a 16 yo that may or not be able to drive yet.
I would think about what’s available, and where that path ends. Taking college classes in high school? Graduating HS early? Starting college early? Finishing college early?
In my kid’s case we have opted to keep him with same age peers, use some gifted and acceleration options when available. Expand his learning outside of school. Going for breadth and depth rather than acceleration. He does get bored sometimes. But he also has some luxury with his free time to explore interests. We don’t have a very achievement or competitive mindset as a family, we lean more into exploring interests. And having a whole life. for example my kid has spent a lot of time baking. It’s not academic. It’s not achievement oriented. He just likes baking a cake to share with friends and family. He’ll probably use that to be a good home cook down the line. That’s as much of a win as advanced math if you’re asking me. I would not only take an inventory but place it in the context of their likely advanced developmental level. There is a reason why ADHD assessments take into account IQ - significantly higher IQ leads to higher compensation of symptoms, or milder (or differently-presenting symptoms). Even if not all skills are 1 or more years advanced, one can still grade skip as long as they are not too bad, and academically 1+ year ahead. Though note such skill differences in organisation, self-care, as the developmental gap can indicate ADHD (though rule out other physical/mental disorders first). As my psychiatrist had keenly noted, even good attention (relative to age norms) is a deficit relative to a 98-99th% + IQ and thus is developmentally inappropriate compared to developmental level. I would also note any compensation strategies the kid has used to fix the weak areas (Pomodoro method, app blockers, etc.). You can accelerate social development and compensate for hyperactivity/impulsivity and inattentiveness to a decent extent in various cases. This is why many ADHD teens are missed. If there are any big gaps, perhaps see a doctor or psychiatrist. The Internet provides a huge range of maths content, as Eagle Mum explains. However, it is often significantly more difficult to self-study from the Internet than it is to learn with a competent teacher. For instance, not getting distracted by games, understanding the content/problem solving, etc. If the stuff of logistics is too difficult, I would recommend graduating HS early and starting college early, or perhaps skipping a grade later. Taking some college classes in HS can be done concurrently - perhaps even AP/IB may allow skipping credits. As someone who used to quite like math but probably had ADHD that I compensated for to a decent extent at that age (getting away with little study/organisation, telling myself to study for a few minutes to ease myself into more studying) to the point few (Except my classmates) suspected ADHD... the self-care skills are good. However exploring interests should be limited to some extent... otherwise the kid may focus too much on interests. But glad to hear you focus on the whole person! I follow that... just with some acceleration first (Grade skip) then work on the stuff, to save time.
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Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 220 Likes: 8
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[quote=millersb02]
The Internet provides a huge range of maths content, as Eagle Mum explains. However, it is often significantly more difficult to self-study from the Internet than it is to learn with a competent teacher. For instance, not getting distracted by games, understanding the content/problem solving, etc.
If the stuff of logistics is too difficult, I would recommend graduating HS early and starting college early, or perhaps skipping a grade later. Taking some college classes in HS can be done concurrently - perhaps even AP/IB may allow skipping credits. As someone who used to quite like math but probably had ADHD that I compensated for to a decent extent at that age (getting away with little study/organisation, telling myself to study for a few minutes to ease myself into more studying) to the point few (Except my classmates) suspected ADHD... the self-care skills are good. However exploring interests should be limited to some extent... otherwise the kid may focus too much on interests.
But glad to hear you focus on the whole person! I follow that... just with some acceleration first (Grade skip) then work on the stuff, to save time. Just illustrates that there are different ways to raise gifted kids. In Yr 8, the maths HoD who was my son’s teacher told me that he had surpassed her and the rest of her faculty. From Yr 2 on, all his primary school teachers have made similar comments (often on record in his school reports), so we’ve deliberately encouraged him to be an independent learner. My daughters preferred to be guided, so as a numberphile myself, I often assumed that role. My husband encouraged DS to play games (they often played together) and they discussed game theory and optimisation strategies with everything and by his teens, DS was bored of games and much preferred to seek better understanding of the ‘real world’.
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Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 63 Likes: 3
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[quote=FrameistElite][quote=millersb02] Just illustrates that there are different ways to raise gifted kids. Yes! This is what I was trying to say. There’s lots of ways to do it. Acceleration is a viable option. It’s backed up by research. But I chose more depth and breadth b/c of my kid’s particular skill contrasts and school access. I also think a kid can accelerate and be parented as a whole person, those aren’t mutually exclusive. Approaching my kid in an wholistic way is important to me because I think it protects mental health in the long term. Giftedness/2e is a lot to manage from a mental health standpoint. I’m always thinking about how to prioritize movement, downtime, sunlight, sleep, in real life experiences, nutrition, opportunities to play and spend time with friends, etc. Basically I’m attempting to teach my kids to prioritize the maintenance of their mental/physical resources. Framist Elite caught that my kid was likely 2e. He is, but with more obscure differences than adhd. He’s spent a lot of the last year learning about his disabilities, learning strategies and how to use/manage assistive tech. He learns about disability like a gifted person. So, he understands his rights and accommodations and has that “heightened sense of fairness/justice” that comes with giftedness and he puts it to use to advocate for himself. Maybe he didn’t speed ahead in an academic subject this year, but he’s making big strides in self advocacy and getting support for disability in the school system. He is laying a good foundation for his own needs that should serve him well as he gets further into school/life. (He also has the strengths to accelerate in math, reading or science, but we’re kinda putting one foot in front of the other, making sure he has appropriate support for disability, supporting strengths outside of school and waiting for built in acceleration opportunities within the school system). To the original poster: Look at your kid, look what is available, assess and make an informed decision! There are no wrong answers. As a parent you’re in the best position to look out for their best interest & make decisions based on what you currently know about your kid.
Last edited by millersb02; 05/07/25 05:51 PM.
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Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 220 Likes: 8
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[quote=FrameistElite][quote=millersb02] Just illustrates that there are different ways to raise gifted kids. Yes! This is what I was trying to say. There’s lots of ways to do it. Acceleration is a viable option. It’s backed up by research. But I chose more depth and breadth b/c of my kid’s particular skill contrasts and school access. I also think a kid can accelerate and be parented as a whole person, those aren’t mutually exclusive. (Edited)…. He also has the strengths to accelerate in math, reading or science, but we’re kinda putting one foot in front of the other, making sure he has appropriate support for disability, supporting strengths outside of school and waiting for built in acceleration opportunities within the school system). I directed a previous post to you because my son, like yours to date, stayed with his age peers, increasing both the opportunities and imperative for them to pursue their own interests. If your DC is keen now to pursue maths interests, waiting for built in opportunities may not be the best strategy, unless he is happy and well occupied pursuing other interests, so I’ve been searching for resources in the US similar to those that my DS found useful over here.
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Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 63 Likes: 3
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I hear you. We have done a lot outside of school to support math skill and he’s set up to start accelerating next school year. He currently has gifted pull out. He’s done some math circle meetups and robotics this year. We’re not ignoring the strengths, just balancing it with other needs and interests. He shifts back and forth in his math interest. His strongest strength is visual/spatial so that helps with math, but he’s a bit more interested in how things work - mechanics, physics, chemistry, science, etc. So math will likely support his primary interests. This summer he asked me to help him work through algebra, so we have a plan for the coming months.
He has a lot to manage with a learning disability in writing and auditory processing disorders. So, getting him in college classes faster is not ideal. I’m more trying to support across all those needs so when he does get past high school he has a lot of knowledge and confidence navigating systems and knows what his needs are - both gifted & disability - and can plan for those needs and leave time for recovery. He has so many more things to manage with the contrasting skills, he needs experience, strategies and support and we’re using these years to let him navigate the school system and life with our guidance/support. People can go to college at 16 or 18 or 20 or 30 and learn throughout their lifetime… what I want is for him is to feel confident, successful and in control when he gets there. Or he might decide to do a trade like be a mechanic or electrician because he really likes 3D, hands on, physical work. Whatever he decides, I want him to be confident in navigating independently when he gets there.
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Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 220 Likes: 8
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I hear you. We have done a lot outside of school to support math skill and he’s set up to start accelerating next school year. He currently has gifted pull out. He’s done some math circle meetups and robotics this year. We’re not ignoring the strengths, just balancing it with other needs and interests. He shifts back and forth in his math interest. His strongest strength is visual/spatial so that helps with math, but he’s a bit more interested in how things work - mechanics, physics, chemistry, science, etc. So math will likely support his primary interests. This summer he asked me to help him work through algebra, so we have a plan for the coming months.
He has a lot to manage with a learning disability in writing and auditory processing disorders. So, getting him in college classes faster is not ideal. I’m more trying to support across all those needs so when he does get past high school he has a lot of knowledge and confidence navigating systems and knows what his needs are - both gifted & disability - and can plan for those needs and leave time for recovery. He has so many more things to manage with the contrasting skills, he needs experience, strategies and support and we’re using these years to let him navigate the school system and life with our guidance/support. People can go to college at 16 or 18 or 20 or 30 and learn throughout their lifetime… what I want is for him is to feel confident, successful and in control when he gets there. Or he might decide to do a trade like be a mechanic or electrician because he really likes 3D, hands on, physical work. Whatever he decides, I want him to be confident in navigating independently when he gets there. For visual/spatial development, I highly recommend speedcubing, which has been very worthwhile as a pastime for DS, not only for visuospatial awareness (blindfold cubing is particularly helpful) but for finger dexterity which has served him well as a self taught musician (another example of him pursuing his interests entirely on his own terms). DS also played chess in primary school and though he did not actively compete in high school, his father, an avid chess player over the internet, shares chess puzzles with him, so he has matched strongly rated players at college. He is currently enrolled in engineering and pivoting towards electronics, having recently been commended for the elegant layout and functionality of his FPGA and circuit chip designs, which very much draw on 3D visualisation skills.
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