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    Joined: Sep 2014
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    Hi All,
    I have a high school junior, and I'm seriously concerned about his college prospects. He is 2E - wicked smart but suffers from OCD and possibly also OCPD. His standardized tests are always in the top 1% as is his IQ. However, his GPA for the first two years of high school is not good. When I say not good, I don't mean, "OMG, he has a few Bs." I mean, his grades are all over the place. He has received 4 D's! His weighted GPA is in the lower half of his class, and his unweighted GPA is in the bottom quarter! I know his low grades don't reflect his learning/knowledge because he will get low grades in his AP classes and then do well on the exams with minimal self-studying (Ie. he got a D in APUSH class and then 5 on the AP exam).

    It's so frustrating because, at every turn, teachers and the school either outright say or suggest that his poor grades mean the coursework is too difficult for him or he's lazy. I know neither is true. He works hard, but when the OCD gets in the way, it can make the simplest tasks take forever or become literally impossible. When he was diagnosed, I tried to get him an IEP but was denied. Even when teachers know about his OCD diagnosis, they still have the attitude that his problem is that he needs to "study more" or "try harder."

    He wasn't diagnosed until a year ago. Although I knew something was wrong for many, many years and struggled to get the proper diagnosis - giftedness is excellent at masking things. He has a therapist but progress is slow and feels like wack-a-mole. Also, just because he has a therapist doesn't mean the OCD disappears and his grades improve overnight.

    I feel that the damage has been done, and it's so incredibly hard not to be completely discouraged. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

    Does anyone have any advice on what to do to improve his chances of getting into a decent college? Honestly, how will colleges view very high test scores but the bottom half of class weighted GPA? Will the application even get far enough for anyone to read the essay? I'm hoping someone here has some helpful advice.

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    dreamsbig, I feel for you and your DC. The college application process is hard enough as it is, without adding these complexities.

    A few thoughts:

    1. First, the category of "a decent college" includes many, many respectable state universities and even community colleges, with which ones being "decent" depending somewhat on what he is interested in studying. The likelihood is extremely high that he will get into an accredited four-year university of some sort. He might find that that is sufficient to meet his needs.

    1a. And even if he doesn't, the differences academically are really not that dramatic (leaving aside the top half dozen schools on the continent) in the first one or two years of intro-level and general requirement courses. If he attends a university that allows him to demonstrate what he is truly capable of, his transfer application of strong college grades will trump a poor showing early in high school. That might be the most critical aspect of this pathway: find a school where he thrives as a first-year collegian, and that will open doors both for remaining successfully in that school, and for transferring to a school that better meets his long-term goals and needs.

    1b. FWIW, a lot of kiddos discussed on this forum will continue to post-graduate studies. In that case, a successful four-year university experience will be much more important than the name/prestige of the institution. There's always giving him another four years to work out how to do school at the post-secondary level in a smaller pond, and then applying to a slate of dream schools for graduate school. None of those admissions committees will care about his high school GPA. Or even if he graduated from high school.

    2. If you've been through the process recently, or have read enough college advice sites, you may know that a lot of the most selective colleges use engagement points as a factor. If he has a short list of schools that particularly appeal to him, you might consider participating in as many of those as he can stomach, keeping in mind that every live interaction with an admissions staffer or alumni host/interviewer is a potential opportunity to shape the narrative so that who he is becomes more vivid than his freshman/sophomore grades. Most of these activities include online/videoconference options.

    3. And finally, there are many possible paths to achieve his goals in life. It is easy to think that the paths you have lived, seen, or heard of are the only ones that exist, but that is most definitely not true. University education is very much a worthwhile endeavor for many people--very likely including your child--but it does not have to occur on the time table, or in the sequence, or at the short list of name institutions, that "everyone says" are the correct ones. Better that he learns how to be the healthiest version of himself that he can be than that he get into a so-called prestigious school that amplifies his challenges, fails to appreciate his unique value, and damages his mental health. Given what you have described about him, I think I would prioritize finding university options that are sensitve and supportive regarding his other exceptionality, so that his giftedness is free to express itself fully.


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    I think the most important question is, what does your son want? At his age, he should be starting to think forward.

    Also, is it possible that looking at this question from another perspective would be helpful? The real goal is to get a degree, not just an acceptance letter in 12th grade.

    Test scores are important, but so are grades and an ability to finish assignments on time (maybe his teachers have a point about trying harder). If your son is having trouble with these tasks in a familiar environment where his family is present, how will he do in an unfamiliar environment with no family around? Could you find yourselves spending a fortune for a freshman transcript with a lot of Ds on it?

    Community college can be a wonderful way to step into college without having to leave the support of home. It’s also inexpensive (free where we live), making it a good place to explore interests and potential interests. Staying at home takes some pressure off and gives kids extra time to mature. It’s also possible to get a part-time job while taking classes.


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