Welcome!
You may find, as you have more encounters with GT adults, that some aspects of your youthful experience are not uncommon. There are a few notable features of the profile you've described:
1. You are clearly extremely capable intellectually, especially in the verbal domain. It is not uncommon for the WMI and PSI to be a bit lower than the VCI and PRI in GT individuals, as those are considered efficiency skills, rather than reasoning skills (with the exception of the Arithmetic portion of the WMI, which is a bit of a mixed measure); yours are strong enough not to be considered particularly striking weaknesses.
2. That being said, one does wonder whether you have some executive function weakness (such as is found in ADHD) overlaying the behaviors that may be more purely GT in origin. If so, that would be appropriately described as a twice exceptional (2e) profile, where exceptional strength is accompanied by one or more notable deficit areas. I should also note that, in my experience, the military is enriched for individuals with at least some component of the profile that might be considered ADHD, for various reasons related both to the supportive scaffolding of the military life, and the neurocognitive assets such individuals bring to effective military service. A possible 2e might be part of the story of why you were not identified as GT during K-12 education.
3. I beg to differ with your characterization of yourself as not having accomplished anything significant. You appear to have taught yourself many interesting skills, across a wide range of fields. You maintain a stable adult relationship. You are self-supporting, independent, and in a productive and honorable profession, serving your country, and representing the ideals of a free society.
And as to how you may view this additional information you have obtained about yourself: If you recognize that your past includes feats of immaturity, then you have the insight and self-reflection to have learned from those experiences, which means they were not wasted--they are part of the growth process that has formed the valuable, responsible person you are today.
I wouldn't expend too much energy regretting the resources you may have missed out on--quite often, they are of limited utility for someone in your cognitive range. You note yourself that the GT program wasn't very good, anyway.
I think you should be proud of what you have done with yourself, and of the maturity that has allowed you to think about how you can be responsible with who you are moving forward.
