Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment testing questions 4 year old

One day at a time or you'll lose your mind! Trust me!

My experience is that they really mature a lot between 4 and 5. I know lots of parents who look at their 4 yo's in the fall and think there is no way that they could possible send them off to the big school in a year. Then by the summer, they have a much more mature, adaptable, self-sufficient kid who is ready to try some more independent adventures!

Thanks acs -

What you said is helpful and at the same time all the more frightening
My son has been in some kind of group/school situation since he was 18 months old. Most of these expereiences have been really positive for him (see below) I think he is mature enough to handle K now. What I am worried about is that he will get to some regular school next fall and they won't challenge him or accomodate him.

I know, I know I am getting ahead of myself.

And, you are right that as mature as he may seem to me now, he will be even more mature next fall. That is ultimately a good thing. He may be able to manage his frustrations better.(ha ha) And hopefully by that time I will know where is LOG his at and make sure that his new teachers understand him.

Thanks for listening

- EW

background:
0-18 mos. home with mom fulltime.

18-24 mos: parent created co-op. 4 days/wk 5 kids, one parent always present and one full-time bilingual teacher. garden, chickens lots of outside-get-messy time hands on play. stomping in rain puddles, walks to story time at the library. the works!

24-27 months: small playbased preschool fulltime. beautiful experience. supportive community. caring staff. mixed age 2-6. DS was the youngest. within two weeks after starting he knew everyone's names including staff, kids, older siblings, parents, h.s volunteers, who drove what car etc.

then we moved
28-29 mos: "academic" preschool fulltime. Put in the two year old classroom. other kids could not talk like my DS. activities were sparse and art projects were identical for every kid! (eg for Hallowwn the teacher would cut out the shape of a ghost and the kids would paint two dots for eyes and glue it to an orange sheet of paper. The teachers really did 95% of every art project) very understimulating for him. school admin would not budge and put him in with the threes because he wasn't all the way potty trained

30 mos to present (4y3m). Caring Montessori, full time. Not too rigid. about to start back for the fall 3rd year in same class. Has been great.

also: summer 08. fulltime camp at dynamic children's museum with weekly themes such as art, theatre, music, coooking, etc. . some weeks classes were mixed age. Had a ball.

Your experience mirrors mine: rigid has been bad for us, regardless of how "academic" the school. Our rigid Montessori pre-K was no better than our rigid 1st grade, though the level of academic challenge that each had available for DS was very different. But once the Montessori recognized the kid for who he was, things got more flexible and the situation got MUCH better. His flexible K was great.

It all comes down to the kid and the fit, I think.

Thinking about a school fit ahead of time is smart. Problem-solving early so problems are less likely to occur is smart. Worrying about how it will go a year ahead of time? Not so smart. Plenty of time for that when you get there...

Well, I did say "often," never "always," so it isn't a blanket statement. I didn't mean it as a blanket statement. And I certainly didn't mean to badmouth GT schools! I think they're a great option!

But I don't retract my statement that when it comes to GT kids and schools, "good" isn't always good and "mediocre" can be excellent. acs's good experience in a "mediocre" system is anecdotal evidence supporting it. My bad experience in a "good" public school system (not GT) also tends to uphold the notion that common wisdom isn't always applicable. I could moderate my statement to say "sometimes" the so-called "good" schools aren't good for HG+ kids. But in doing so, I don't want to water down my real point:

that E&W shouldn't worry about having her kids in a "mediocre" school system until she has some experience in it. It may be a great fit for them because common wisdom about school systems doesn't always hold true for GT kids. My point is that she might want to give that school a chance. Certainly before uprooting the family and moving!

BTW, my DYS consultant told me they have an easier time advocating in public schools than in private ones, including private GT ones. She said private schools tend to have waiting lists, so they don't have to do a thing they don't want to do for a kid; there's someone else waiting to pay the tuition and fill that spot who is less work for them. OTOH, public schools have to take a kid, so they're more likely to work with a parent. I was surprised by this statement. That IS a generalization, but it comes from someone with more experience than I have, so I tend to trust it...

But even there, she's talking about tendencies, not facts. Every school is different, and many GT schools are WONDERFUL for HG+ kids!

I think, CFK, that Kriston is not talking about schools designed as gifted school, but regular neighborhood schools that serve an educated neighborhood and have a significant number of bright and MG kids. Certainly some of those have been good too. But I think sometimes it is more likely for the needs of a HG kid to get lost in a school where the kids tend to be "above average".


And both of us were primarily tryng to make the point that just because a school does or doesn't look good on paper is not enough to make a decision on. What matters is what the school does, not how it ranks.

Yes! And this was precisely the point I was making. Couldn't have said it better!

I hear what you're saying about anecdotal evidence. It certainly doesn't meet rigorous standards of logic. But this is a forum where we're sharing our experiences, so I don't think anecdotal evidence is inappropriate here, given the context. Besides, what else do we have but our shared experiences? I know I've learned a TON here from the experiences of others. Frankly, it's why I'm here.

And again, just for the record, I was NEVER slamming GT schools. I'm glad they're out there, and I know (from anecdotal evidence! ) that they're often a WONDERFUL solution!

I think this is pretty good advice. It's too hard to plan ahead too far, you kind of have to feel things out for yourself as you go. There are too many variables involved. CFK has a great point. This board is great for sharing, cheering, and sometimes commiserating!

It's easy to worry about stuff that may not even happen when you read some of the stuff people post.

I think at one point I was very sensitive to hearing people's successful situations because I didn't understand why that child's school was treating their intelligence more respectfully than my child's school was treating hers.
But now, I'm trying to seperate that and rejoice in every success story, let them inspire me to pursue the possibilities.

ROFL - Boy you said it! The Montessori DS is at now WAS the LAST one I considered. I visited about 8 schools and day cares (Montessori, non-Montesori & home day cares) For the three I thought were promising I went back with my DS. Man, it was a lot of leg work. I am SO not looking forward to doing it again.

Back then, my work schedule was a lot more flexible too...

I had better go to bed and get some rest. Parenting is hard work.

- EW

three thoughts.

first, like others posted... we wppsi'ed at 4 years 2 months. went well (and i was worried she'd have the polly pockets answer for her).

second, to find a tester - try posting a questions under regions and give a general location and have anyone pm you if they have a recommendation. worth a shot.

third, from a financial aspect you might want to wait until you may be considering early entrance or basic schooling. my guess is you want validation of what you know in your heart but your brain isn't letting you embrace. if you may need tests for early entrance next fall - you might be better off waiting until winter/early spring when more information in terms of grade leveling of skills is available. we did test at 4 but we were anticipating enrolling in K at 4.5.

Keep doing whatever it is you are doing and try to avoid thinking of the labbels and school issues that will come. oh uh, "may" come because i'm sure there are some awesome schools that aren't SUCKING the brains right out of kids ;-P teehee.