Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments doesn't fit public school...homeschool instead?

Hello all,
My 10 year old son was identified GT in Kindergarten and has attended public school since. Starting in 2nd grade he began underachieving, "checking/zoning out", seeing himself as different (physically & socially) and his self image/esteem took a nosedive. Each year has had it's own challenges but getting up for school and performing in school have consistently been a big issue for us. I have had him tested for ADHD; the school found the Conner's assessment conclusive but 2 outside professionals did not. I think the school is looking for the easy way out. I am on the brink of pulling him out and homeschooling. He does not fit the profile of our little affluent town's typical GT profile (confident, eager to learn, eager to please). He instead has quietly shut down and simply doesn't comply with requests. In his own way he's subtly being defiant. He goes against school culture and has never fit in, even in kindergarten.

My question is...has anyone had issues pertaining to GT underachievement in relation to GT type characteristics? If so, how did you approach the teachers/school? Did you address it more with the GT support staff or at the campus level? How do you reach an underachiever the school has failed to reach out to repeatedly?

Welcome.

I think you will find that underachievement is, sadly, not that unusual. In your case, it seems to me that there are a couple of related, but different questions:

1. How do you work with the school to best educate your child?
2. What is best for your child at this time?

The answer to #2 may not involve #1 at all, or may require going entirely outside of the system.

I don't have advice since I went through that with my son when he was a lot younger and what I did wouldn't carry over to an older child. The school was entirely unconcerned, I ended up homeschooling. But I wanted to chime in for solidarity and sympathy. You are not alone in this.

I'm reading "The Turned Off Child" which looks promising in the first chapters. It might help you. Also "The Explosive Child" and corresponding website livesinthbalance.org are a fabulous resource when children are stuck and acting out (or in).

Welcome!
Gifted Homeschooler's Forum (GHF) is a great resource to begin an exploration of homeschooling.

Depending upon the IQs of these children, they may be bright, high achievers rather than "gifted". These links may be of interest:
-Tips for Parents: Helping Parents Understand Their Profoundly Gifted Children
- Profiles of the gifted and talented which lists 6 different types, categorized by personality/temperament and achievement
- Bertie Kingore, Ph.D.: High Achieving, Gifted Learner, Creative Thinker?
Rather than identifying gifted pupils and teaching them where they are at (matching the program to the pupil), many schools create programs such as math 1 year advanced, then look for students to match to their program. These students are then dubbed gifted students, because they match the gifted program. There is a big difference between matching the program to the child and matching the child to the program.

passive aggressive?

One approach is to discuss what kids don't learn if they do not have an academic/intellectual challenge worthy of their potential.

- Start small, working with the teacher. However do not be surprised if you attend a meeting with the teacher to find that the teacher has invited the principal, school counselor, etc, and it is a larger meeting than you anticipated.
- Eventually you may need to escalate to higher levels.
- Here is a roundup of advocacy tips and resources.

Many families provide enrichment or advanced classes outside of school, in areas of the child's strengths and interests. This can begin you homeschooling. Does your community offer kid groups and activities such as scouts, sport teams, rec department classes, etc, for socializing?