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    Joined: Jul 2014
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    I sure hope so because I should like to teach my children household self sufficiency before they move out, and drop off laundry service sounds expensive!
    OP, it just occurred to me that some people like the concept of Dabrowski's over excitabilities, because it is such a nice umbrella for basically everything that makes life hard for our kids and sometimes us, as well. I am personally a bit sceptical of the concept because it sort of descends into realms of moral superiority of intellectually superior people, but the over excitabilities part really resonates with many parents.

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    Thanks so much everyone. I keep forgetting to check back here for responses but I'm appreciative when I see new info. Tigerle, you have it right I think. I don't think his particular difficulties or "symptoms" fit neatly into a single category. It has always been that way. He has a little of this and a little of that. I haven't sought a diagnosis because he functions completely fine in school, gets great grades, plays competitive sport (although we struggle with the emotions of it) and has friends.

    As his mom, I just think I see and receive the brunt of things and I wish him neurological calm and comfort . I hate that he is uncomfortable like with the BB thing and the ticcing when it is worse.

    I had never considered ADHD ... and I could definitely read up on it. I just still am confused because he isn't "hyperactive"really. I guess it could just be a mild thing ... but he used to do origami for hours and rainbow loom ... very detailed things and could write sentences and form letters (small handwriting) from age 2-3 so I thought he could focus fine. It has just been in recent years that I have noticed his physical discomfort and low tolerance for things like writing/edits/revisions on writing. He can't stand edits or suggestions from me. But it is never like what I imagined ADHD to be with physical hyperactivity. Maybe it is just coming out now at an older age which I guess is possible.


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    ADHD comes in various subtypes: primarily inattentive, primarily hyperactive/impulsive, and combined. The symptoms also may not be that evident when engaged in high-interest activities (classically, video games, favored sports, etc.) Keep in mind also that the disorder is not really a deficit in attention (name of the syndrome notwithstanding), but a deficit in regulation of attention. So over focusing on one thing can be as much a symptom as flitting from one thing to another can be.

    It sounds like he is engaged by creative work, but not by nitty gritty fine tuning work. And probably hasn't yet learned that there can be quite a bit of creativity in editing and revising as well.

    Typically, ADHD is considered to be an intrinsic profile that exists from early childhood (formerly, before age 7, currently, before age 12), but environmental demands may not expose the profile until later.


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    Like aeh says, some kids with ADHD are not hyper, they are just unfocused or act spacey and have problems staying on task unless they are involved w/ something fascinating. My daughter could spend an hour deeply engrossed in a jigsaw puzzle, and she has been that way since she was a toddler, but if you ask her to write a paragraph, and it's a topic she doesn't want to write about, she gets off task every 30 seconds. I have to bribe her to do things like clean her room and break the task down into small parts. Otherwise it's hopeless.

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    Wow, this is enlightening. I really appreciate the information .. especially the subcategories, aeh. Looks like I have some research to do. And I will work on reframing his "laziness" to "inattention/inability to focus" ... I stand corrected. Super appreciate you all!! smile

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    I just thought of a big question though ... if he does indeed have something like the inattentive ADHD and homework/focusing on things he isn't interested in is kind of an actual challenge ...

    1. I worry that telling him he may have this diagnosis will give him a reason to resist these things even more?
    2. Since he is highly gifted, how does this effort (or inability to put forth effort) vs. academic aptitude thing work out through the middle school and teen years?
    3. Do I need a diagnosis or can I just have him work with someone (or me) using strategies?

    Sorry, I suspect this is super basic info but I am not sure what to expect or where to start. I did check out that livesinthebalance site and I will get that book The Explosive Child which actually I think I read years ago.

    Thank you!!

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    As a parent of a gifted D17 who had really rough time in junior high, was finally diagnosed by a neruopsyc at 15 and who is now one month short of 18. A lot of these things will get better as he matures. Honestly.. Although I don't suggest you just ignore them all and wait. My son turned into a completely different child from between his freshman year in H.S. and his junior one. Some of this was because HE wanted to change & was motivated. I did find him a psychologist who has experience with gifted kids to work with him.

    You have just hit the beginning of puberty. A lot of this being a kid who has just hit puberty.. maybe one that it not completely neurotypical (but every quirk doesn't need a label) but being 11 just ramps everything up to 11. And if you aren't the same way, it may seem like he's pushing your buttons. He isn't an adult. Many kids have a few ticks (my son used to chew on his shirts when he was nervous). Many adults get motion sick in cars if they aren't driving. Everyone in my family gets motion sick to some extent so I don't think of it being very odd.

    As for the auditory thing. Have you consider that's he's very introverted and when out in public or in new situations he's on sensory overload. Perhaps he doesn't initially respond because you have to pull him out of his zone. This requires patience and understanding as well as training & practice.

    My kid was tested and doesn't officially have ADHD and/or ASD. Although he does share some characteristics mostly he is a quirky introverted gifted kid. And honestly if you son my son today you wouldn't recognize the child he was at 11/12.

    Last edited by bluemagic; 02/01/17 09:22 AM.
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    I wanted to add.. The blowing up thing. My son used to do this ALL THE TIME. It was a huge issue when he was 8-12. This is one of the area's where I think maturity makes a huge difference. He's in H.S. and now and I could never imagine him doing this. He's somehow learned to control this and I haven't seen him blow up like this in years. By H.S. this wasn't a problem at all.

    It's tough being a gifted kid, particularly a introverted gifted one. Adults are constantly interrupting and want you to do anything but what's fun and interesting to you. Watch your kid and figure out when he's blowing up. I found the best solution to this problem was making sure he was in the loop and knew what the plans were for the day, gave him lots of notice as to when he needed to switch gears. Particularly very engrossing ones like computer games.

    It became unacceptable in my house to throw a fit. But I also learned to read & understand what his frustrations were. We made plans I would give him warnings on when he needed to change activities. And yes... I don't need to do that now.

    Good Luck.

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    If you suspect he might have inattentive ADHD and you want to try something like stimulant medication (or any type of medication) obviously you need a diagnosis. You can get a good idea of whether he fits the DSM criteria just by looking online. There are parent/teacher rating scales that basically confirm it. Although I recommend taking him to a neuropsych rather than relying on a paper-pencil inventory. If you don't plan to try medication then you could try interventions yourself based on books like "Smart but Scattered" but if you want the school to do interventions for a 504 plan or IEP you would need a diagnosis.

    http://www.helpforadd.com/2013/june.htm

    My daughter has an IEP for ADHD and I think she would be lost in middle school without that. I would be constantly emailing teachers trying to explain what her issue is and negotiating missing assignments, etc. With the IEP a case manager keeps track of her grades and assignments and deals with her issues. Some kids have 504 plans for ADHD which is just a list of modications/accommodations (like giving increased time to do work or modifying the assignments) but it seems to be really hard to get teachers to follow the plan.

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    Executive functions (the skills affected by ADHD) are the biggest predictor of academic and life "success". Without executive function, intelligence is largely irrelevant.

    I recommend neuropsychology as part of diagnosis. I learned my son's "laziness" was actually an astoundingly slow processing speed. I have ADHD diagnosis myself and I learned my tested skills are not nearly so low as expected which indicated that environmental changes may offset my impairments - and they did. Neuropsychology may indicate the severity of symptoms, but cannot point the reason for the symptoms. ADHD is not the only cause of poor executive function and childhood sleep disorders are a common cause of "ADHD".

    My nephew appeared to have ADHD. After neuropsych, now my sister knows he is neurotypical or gifted (she declined to be told IQ results) and his "symptoms" are counterwill. My niece in the same family presented with a severe academic delay - but she has ADHD most likely cause by high blood lead level.

    I do not believe ADHD self-diagnosis can be done, there are too many differential diagnosis. ADHD is a diagnosis of elimination.

    Diagnosis can be a lengthy or daunting process but I believe it's worth it. My DS9 is incompetent and cannot perform basic life skills without medication. Without medication he cannot function in any school setting regardless of the accomodations. Our home life was in turmoil and I was seriously considering putting him in foster care since he wasn't old enough for inpatient behavioral treatment. With medication, he is far beyond expectations for academics, hobbies, responsibility, and life skills. Putting him a first medication (which didn't work very well) corresponded with a 3-grade acceleration, and finding a best-fit medication corresponded with and additional 2-grade acceleration. When he was given school work at his intellectual level, his resistant school related behaviors disappeared and within a couple months his lingering behavior problems resolved. His anxiety and aggression/frustration disappeared.

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