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We tried the PS for a total of 2 or 3 days for K. It was clear it wasn't going to work for my dd. However, the principal and the teachers did try to accomodate her. They moved her up for reading and even borrowed books from higher grades when it was clear that the books in the classroom were not enough. She was allowed to bring books from home for her reading time, etc. The problem was that in order for the school to be a good fit they would have to move her at least 3 grades up and socially that would not work. The GT coordinator went as far as to say they would "do anything they needed to do" to meet her needs. They really wanted her to stay and kept calling after we decided to drop out trying to convince me to bring her back.

The problem is that there is nothing they can do to provide HG+ children with true peers. Placing my dd in 3 or 4 grade at the age of 5 did not appeal to me. Having her learn in a corner by herself was an even worse choice.

She made it clear she hated going to that school and we decided to keep her home one more year since K is not mandatory in our state.

She started in a Gt school for 1st grade and has been happy since.

That's an amazing story, Bianca. DS's school did not have a GT coordinator b/c there was no GT, and is none through fifth grade (other than in class differentiation I posted about recently). I really do enjoy reading about your DD's school situation.

Rommel coined this term. In his memoirs he made it clear to distinguish between fears based on nervousness vs fears based upon evidence. The evidence fears MUST be faced and dealt with by actions.

Sounds like your fears are evidence based?

The other big question is how long do you wait? My son is starting K. He was not happy his last half of preK. He wasn't bonding w/ any of the kids, didn't like the toys. But how much of it will be adjustment to K? I can't get into the school to observe until November so that gives him 8-9weeks to adjust to the new environment and long day.

DS8, looking back, was depressed in K. I made him stick it out but it was hard and stressful for both of us. He still remembers it and talks about it. He commented that K ruined him just yesterday.

I usually fall into the trap of, conferences aren't' until nearly NOvember. By then, the holiday hoopla starts so things get a bit better. Then there is winter break. Things will pick up at school in January but then things get bad again by late Feb, early March. BUt then we limp along until Spring break. But by then the year is nearly over and I convince him to hang in a little while longer. Finally we got to the end of the year.

DS did reach a critical point where one morning he was blubbering and stomping his feet at the door as the bus is coming "I just can't take it anymore. I'm so tired of learning things I already know." He was just emotionally out of control. I kept him home that day. That is when the stomach aches started I think. My issue is not knowing what the real issue is. FOr him I think it's mostly personality. He's MG not HG+ like the kids here yet he seems to be acting so extreme. But he doesn't want to HS because he said he'd miss his school friends.

Can you arrange playdates, Dazey? DS7 has some school friends we still see, so it can be done, especially if you can arrange to have him on a soccer team or some such thing with the friends sometime during the year.

I think that's exactly how we got to March with out me taking action. Because it would ebb only to present itself full force again when whatever distraction went away. If I could have known that at the beginning of the year, I would have pulled him right after Christmas when I realized we were losing him and the school didn't care.


I've found that with DS6 (whose LOG is a complete mystery to me), if I point out that by choosing *not* to do something, he is in effect choosing something else, it helps to change his attitude towards the situation. By choosing not to be homeschooled because he wants to stay with his friends in school, he's choosing a certain amount of boredom and frustration while at school with his friends. I'm not saying it's fair, but it is what it is. It may be that being with his friends is that important to him, in which case it's going to require a certain amount of sucking it up on his part (with you working in the background to minimize the amount of sucking) or it may be that when he realizes that there are ways to see his friends and be homeschooled, he'll make a different choice.

You might also visit some homeschooling activities. If he makes friends there, he might have a different perspective about his school friends.

Kids often get odd/mistaken ideas about what something is, and HSing is no exception. He may think it means that he never gets to leave home or something. Letting him see it in action may clear up the confusion.

Not that you necessarily ought to homeschool...but *if* the friends issue is really all that's keeping him from wanting to do it, and *if* you think it's a choice you want to pursue, then I think the friends issue is a surmountable obstacle.

DS7's only question last year when I suggested the possibility of HSing was about his friends, too. When I offered playdates with them, he agreed excitedly, and he's never looked back.

Um, this sounds a liitle lame after all these horror stories... But KG stopped reading. That's how we really knew something was wrong.

Kid *loves* to read. He self-taught somewhere around 3yo, and would read all the time. He loved reading Captain Underpants when he was 4. I have a great pic of him the summer before K started, sitting in the car waiting to go somewhere, totally engrossed in "Henry Huggins."

We had briefly discussed seeking a skip to first grade the winter before he started k, but his dad was adament that KG needed K. So we sent him. Private school really didn't cross our minds.

I approached the gifted coordinator at parent night, introduced myself and said I was interested in learning about the gifted program. I was told it didn't start until second grade, and given a folder full of elementary gifted info (ie, characteristics of gifted kids, enrichment ideas, even a link to that Saturday enrichment program!). When I asked what they did for kids in K, she told me they do "in-class grouping." She was very dismissive, and a little rude.

So I let it go at that point, and decided to watch and wait. KG wasn't having big problems, and I thought (hoped) maybe they *could* differentiate.

But after a month or 2 in K... He stopped reading chapter books. And started reading Spot lift-the-flap books. That was my biggest clue-in! Not dramatic, but a big enough departure for me to look more into it. It was at that point we had him fully tested (he'd done a cursory eval to get into a well-known Saturday program for gifted kids near us).

Basically, nothing was done for him. He'd have been in the "gifted first grade math" this year--but he tested above it last February. Whoopty!

It was the school's attitude as much as KGs obvious regression that pushed us to start looking private. And it was less his K teacher than his principal --most of you have heard our story. It didn't look likely to change, and I wasn't willingly to fight a likely-losing battle while KG floundered.

KG starts at gifted private in two weeks, and I'm really excited.

Bottom line? Look for a change in your kid. If you think something's not right, you're probably right. And get started early!

Thanks to all for the many thoughtful responses. Sorry to be absent so long, but for some reason I thought this thread had petered out yesterday morning and didn't check it later in the day.

There is a wealth of information and ideas in the many postings - too many to respond to individually. On the subject of fear, 'Neato and Austin make good points. We have some evidence to work with, since we worked with these folks a bit in the winter, but it's not conclusive. We have been insufficiently attentive in the past, however, and want to do better now, without overcompensating. I think the point of fears is to own them - even in advocacy - without letting them own you.

DS got through day 2 okay, though bits of violence are seeping through his post-school fantasy play already. Much will depend on whether the school follows through on our request for a meeting next week.

So have I, probably so have many others, this will end up being a non-issue, don't worry.




Brilliant-now go do some successful advocating!!!